General Infertility Frustration

BritChickNYC · 10-22-2009, 09:46 AM

Hi,
I am new here and was really hoping to talk to other women who understand the frustrations of infertility.

I guess I am also looking for a way to vent those frustrations without constantly snapping at those well meaning (but insensitive) people who think they are saying the right thing, but are really not.

I am in my late 20's, have been with my husband for 5 years and I am the one with the medical problems.
A few years ago I had my right fallopian tube removed becuase of a misdiagnosed ectopic pregnancy (ultrasound tech said I was pregnant with twins at 7 weeks, only to discover a few days later when the tube ruptured, that it was actually an ectopic).
After losing the tube I had the usual battery of tests including the HSG - dye test. That concluded that left tube was open (although the previous surgeon believed that internally the tube was damaged - caused by an nasty infection).
TTC for a year and ended up doing IVF - two cycles. The latter resulting the birth of my son - who just turned a year old.
TTC again - with family convinced that it will happen naturally and have run into more problems. Just about to start a Clomid cycle when a giant cyst was found on right ovary. Now facing more surgery and an even more reduced chance of having more children.
Getting very frustrating with my body and with those who feel the need to remind me that I should be grateful to have my son. Given everything I had to go through to have him, how could I ever be anything other then grateful for him, but why should that make my wanting another child less important.

I'd love to hear from anyone who can relate to this.

3 ladybugs · 10-22-2009, 09:58 AM

You don't have any frozen embryos? I am surprised you are doing clomid after IVF.

I am sort of in your shoes as after our nearly 5 years of inferility and my son who came via IVF most people think that this isn't really an issue. That we don't really need treatment to get pregnant. However I am lucky in that I have 5 frozen so I can just say "I am not leaving any of my children behind" and that normally shuts them up.

Feel free to vent whenever you need to! I have been here a while, and 3 pregnancies and treatments later this is still the best place I have found for support when going through treatments.

BritChickNYC · 10-22-2009, 10:12 AM

Thanks for the reply, it is always nice teo know that you are alone and that they are other women who understand what this feels like. None of my friend's have these issues, so it make it really difficult for them to be supportive.
We had no embryos to freeze in either cycle - just enough to transfer. RE said that I was a great little egg producer, just the quality wasn't that great.
We decided to try Clomid as we didn't the 1st time around. I was so impatient for a baby, that we went straight to IVF. This time, I am a little more relaxed (apparently that is going to help me get pregnant according to most family members - like relaxing is going to help me grow a healthy set of tubes!!!)
Drives me crazy when people think that we did IVF for the fun of it - they have no idea how painful and expensive it is. Whenever they give me the whole, "relax and it will happen" I simply say to them - If I had a illness would you tell to relax and it will go away or would you encourage me to seek medical help. That usually helps them to see my perspective.

Thanks again for the reply - it is good to get some of this off my chest.

3 ladybugs · 10-22-2009, 12:13 PM

Did your RE give you any idea of how to improve your egg quality?

I also had a slight egg quality issues. But that "slight" was what was preventing me from getting pregnant. Turns out I just needed to change my diet and as an added precaution I was prescribed a medication (avandia - I am slightly insulin resistant).

Oh and people telling me to relax was enough to make me go insane. At one point I started telling people that if all I needed to do was relax then put me in a coma now because clearly that is all I need!

cpgal · 10-23-2009, 08:51 AM

What can you do to improve egg quality? The only thing my RE ever said was that Clomid does that but what dietary things?

BritChickNYC · 10-23-2009, 09:02 AM

RE at the time never mentioned any way of improving egg quality. The only thing he said was that maybe my age was a factor in why I was producing a lot of immature eggs - I was 27 during both of my IVF cycles.
Hubby and I made the decision yesterday that we are going to skip the Clomid cycles that my GYN wants us to try and go back to IVF in Jan of 2010.
Before I can do anything, I need to get rid of the cyst on my ovary and have another HSG - what fun!

BritChickNYC · 10-23-2009, 12:56 PM

Things just go from bad to worse. GYN just gave me the news that I may have ovarian cancer. Large mass on the ovary and elevated CA-125 blood tests results ahve earnt me a trip to an oncologist.
Am still in total shock - went from wanting another baby, to now hoping that I'll see my son grow up.

10-22-2009, 09:46 AM	#1 (permalink)
BritChickNYC 0-99 post 2 of hearts Join Date: Oct 2009 Location: New York Posts: 4	General Infertility Frustration Hi, I am new here and was really hoping to talk to other women who understand the frustrations of infertility. I guess I am also looking for a way to vent those frustrations without constantly snapping at those well meaning (but insensitive) people who think they are saying the right thing, but are really not. I am in my late 20's, have been with my husband for 5 years and I am the one with the medical problems. A few years ago I had my right fallopian tube removed becuase of a misdiagnosed ectopic pregnancy (ultrasound tech said I was pregnant with twins at 7 weeks, only to discover a few days later when the tube ruptured, that it was actually an ectopic). After losing the tube I had the usual battery of tests including the HSG - dye test. That concluded that left tube was open (although the previous surgeon believed that internally the tube was damaged - caused by an nasty infection). TTC for a year and ended up doing IVF - two cycles. The latter resulting the birth of my son - who just turned a year old. TTC again - with family convinced that it will happen naturally and have run into more problems. Just about to start a Clomid cycle when a giant cyst was found on right ovary. Now facing more surgery and an even more reduced chance of having more children. Getting very frustrating with my body and with those who feel the need to remind me that I should be grateful to have my son. Given everything I had to go through to have him, how could I ever be anything other then grateful for him, but why should that make my wanting another child less important. I'd love to hear from anyone who can relate to this.

10-23-2009, 08:51 AM	#5 (permalink)
cpgal 100-199 post 3 of hearts Join Date: May 2009 Location: Washington, DC Posts: 193	What can you do to improve egg quality? The only thing my RE ever said was that Clomid does that but what dietary things? __________________ About Us -- We are both 36, been married three years. Been trying for almost two. Had a miscarriage at 10 weeks. I have hypothyroidism Fluctuating male factor infertility Did Clomid d3-7 and IUI. July 15th IUI - BFN August cycle a bust - DH went out of town Sept 4th IUI - BFN October 2nd - IUI Going to try two cycles on our own before taking the plunge to IVF

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10-22-2009, 09:58 AM	#2 (permalink)
3 ladybugs 1000-4999 post queen of hearts Join Date: Feb 2006 Posts: 3,201	You don't have any frozen embryos? I am surprised you are doing clomid after IVF. I am sort of in your shoes as after our nearly 5 years of inferility and my son who came via IVF most people think that this isn't really an issue. That we don't really need treatment to get pregnant. However I am lucky in that I have 5 frozen so I can just say "I am not leaving any of my children behind" and that normally shuts them up. Feel free to vent whenever you need to! I have been here a while, and 3 pregnancies and treatments later this is still the best place I have found for support when going through treatments.

10-22-2009, 10:12 AM	#3 (permalink)
BritChickNYC 0-99 post 2 of hearts Join Date: Oct 2009 Location: New York Posts: 4	Thanks for the reply, it is always nice teo know that you are alone and that they are other women who understand what this feels like. None of my friend's have these issues, so it make it really difficult for them to be supportive. We had no embryos to freeze in either cycle - just enough to transfer. RE said that I was a great little egg producer, just the quality wasn't that great. We decided to try Clomid as we didn't the 1st time around. I was so impatient for a baby, that we went straight to IVF. This time, I am a little more relaxed (apparently that is going to help me get pregnant according to most family members - like relaxing is going to help me grow a healthy set of tubes!!!) Drives me crazy when people think that we did IVF for the fun of it - they have no idea how painful and expensive it is. Whenever they give me the whole, "relax and it will happen" I simply say to them - If I had a illness would you tell to relax and it will go away or would you encourage me to seek medical help. That usually helps them to see my perspective. Thanks again for the reply - it is good to get some of this off my chest.

10-22-2009, 12:13 PM	#4 (permalink)
3 ladybugs 1000-4999 post queen of hearts Join Date: Feb 2006 Posts: 3,201	Did your RE give you any idea of how to improve your egg quality? I also had a slight egg quality issues. But that "slight" was what was preventing me from getting pregnant. Turns out I just needed to change my diet and as an added precaution I was prescribed a medication (avandia - I am slightly insulin resistant). Oh and people telling me to relax was enough to make me go insane. At one point I started telling people that if all I needed to do was relax then put me in a coma now because clearly that is all I need!

10-23-2009, 09:02 AM	#6 (permalink)
BritChickNYC 0-99 post 2 of hearts Join Date: Oct 2009 Location: New York Posts: 4	RE at the time never mentioned any way of improving egg quality. The only thing he said was that maybe my age was a factor in why I was producing a lot of immature eggs - I was 27 during both of my IVF cycles. Hubby and I made the decision yesterday that we are going to skip the Clomid cycles that my GYN wants us to try and go back to IVF in Jan of 2010. Before I can do anything, I need to get rid of the cyst on my ovary and have another HSG - what fun!

10-23-2009, 12:56 PM	#7 (permalink)
BritChickNYC 0-99 post 2 of hearts Join Date: Oct 2009 Location: New York Posts: 4	Things just go from bad to worse. GYN just gave me the news that I may have ovarian cancer. Large mass on the ovary and elevated CA-125 blood tests results ahve earnt me a trip to an oncologist. Am still in total shock - went from wanting another baby, to now hoping that I'll see my son grow up.