It finally happened!

[HolmesHX2]

Well I thought I had gotten out of the whole idiotic responses to infertility boy was I wrong. I've had the annoying things of hold your legs up it worked for me, or I don't know about this maybe god... (fill in blank here) (just a side note on this whole god thing.... We are taught god is loving and forgives us of our sins let his son die for us etc... so why is it he's accused of being such a mean vengeful god when it comes to why we have infertility?? Fertile people always blame him and say he didnt want us to have kids blah blah blah just annoying they claim he forgives murderers and sinners but keeps certain good people from being parents for a reason just doesnt make sence) ANYWAYS, also have the stupid thing of be patient it'll happen and all the usual stupid things we here going through IF. Well today I was talking to my sister and finally got that really stupid mean comment I thought I dodged the bullet on. I'm talking to her on the phone and just explained to her I finished my clomid and go in the next day for my first ultrasound to check if it's working she then out of nowhere says "maybe thats a good thing" of course my question is "whats a good thing"?? She says "If you miscarry" WTF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Where the hell did m/c come into the picture when I havent even had a chance to ovulate and why in the HELL would it be a good thing?? She tells me then at least I'd know I COULD get pregnant. How about I at least ovulate for once to have a chance at getting pregnant then get pregnant and know I can be pregnant and just skip the whole m/c part and have a happy healthy 9 months followed by a beautiful healthy baby? To top it off she's had a miscarriage before how in the hell can you tell someone out of the blue it would be a good thing? Sorry for the rant but definitely thrown for a loop with that one. Oh yeah and today was my ultrasound and of course as always body isn't responding to the stupid clomid!

[BC-RyansHope]

I am so sorry. I've been at this almost 4 years and have been thru ALOT and yeah just when you think you've heard it all. I really am sorry of how ridicuolus your sister was. Totally uncalled for.

On the God comments- a friend of mine (also suffering from IF) said it very well- God isnt Santa Claus.

[HolmesHX2]

I like the god isn't santa clause comment :-) yeah I've been at this for 5 years next month so you think you've heard the month so you think you've heard most of it but geesh some people can be sooo stupid.

[dannigirl]

I'm SOOOOOOOO sorry she is SOOOOOOO mean.... all I can say is OMG!!!!!!!! Why would anyone say that??????!!!!!!!

[HolmesHX2]

Thanks danni... yeah I was in shock and I just now told my mom and it shocked her at first then she remember who it came from. My husband is shocked I didn't hang up right away of course I haven't called her since. I love my sister and I love my niece's to death but my sister can be so dumb at times.

[mjen]

Sorry for that one - I once had a "friend" say to me that if I really wanted to have kids I would have had one by now! Yes you're right I just wanted to throw thousands of dollars down the drain to try IVF for it to NOT work! I guess I just wasn't trying hard enough in her books!

[HolmesHX2]

oh of course they will never understand. Its either your not doing it right (I'm sure I mastered this part lol) You're not trying hard enough or your trying to hard. Can never please them and they will never understand what we go through to have a kid.

[waiting in MT]

Hey ladies~ I got the worst ever comment from my boss of all people. We were discussing getting pg and I told her my problems and how we have been trying for 2 yrs and she says "well my problem is I get pg everytime my husband looks at me!" I told her that did not seem like a problem to me...then she says did you ever think that maybe god is punishing you because you lived with dh before you got married? WTF!!! so now god is spitefull! I can not believe a true christian would say anyhing like that!!!

[BC-RyansHope]

Originally Posted by waiting in MT

then she says did you ever think that maybe god is punishing you because you lived with dh before you got married?

I cant believe ANYONE said that! WOW!!

So THATS what my problem is! Hmm... so I guess all the specialists were wrong, it was that I was being punished for living in sin. (rolling my eyes)

[CrystalAZ]

Originally Posted by HolmesHX2

She says "If you miscarry" WTF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Where the hell did m/c come into the picture when I havent even had a chance to ovulate and why in the HELL would it be a good thing??

She's had a miscarriage. So miscarriage enters her mind quickly when pregnancy is mentioned. Maybe what she said is something she THINKS would make you feel better, because maybe it made her feel better thinking at least she was pg even if she lost it. But it was still a completely DHAC thing to say.

You have to remember that for MOST people, the intention is good - they just don't understand. Keep that in mind.

Infertility is a disease. If someone was dying of cancer, people wouldn't tell them "Well, I guess God just doesn't want you to live." Or "I guess God didn't mean for you to turn 30." It's easy to say "You just arent' meant to have kids" to someone when you can pop them out like a Pez dispenser... but just remember that other people are allowed - even EXPECTED - to fight their diseases. And you should fight yours as well.

And never apologize for that or think that God is angry with you. I look back at the long, painful road I walked and crawled and cried down to get my son and know it was supposed to happen that way. I am now grateful for it. You deserve your child. And he/she will find the way to you.

Keep educating. Keep educating. Keep eduating. And eventually the world, or at least a good part of it, will understand. It is our responsibility to counteract the damage done by "Octomom" and other bizarre news stories. We have to be strong and stand up, one DHAC at a time.



Crystal