New... IUI or IVF?? any advice?

[BelleAmie]

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Hey gang,

I don't know if this is the right board for this or not, but I am just going to jump in. I'm going to try to be speedy and concise.

I am trying to figure out if I should go on as planned with my 1st IUI as soon as AF comes or if I should call an audible and start planning for IVF. I am hoping that some of you can share your thoughts with me and help me decide.

Now for the personal info: I am 35 my husband is 39. We have been married for 8 years. In that 8 years we have purchased no condoms or taken any BCPs. Not even one + HPT. I never really thought about it much because we weren't really trying to get pg. About a year ago we decided we would actually start trying. At that point I thought it would be no big deal, after all I have a 15 year old son from a previous relationship. I really thought all we had to do is start having more BMS.

Long story short, 1 year later of really trying still no +HPT. I've seen the gyn she put me on clomid for a couple months, no +. I have since been to an RE and after all the tests (hormone levels within acceptable ranges HSG= right tube blocked at uterus) we did an ultrasound to look at my reserves (they were good) however we also found a cyst almost 7cm and a polyp. RE said probably no big deal, probably not keeping me from getting pg, but needed to be taken care of. Cyst removed and ready to move on. We met with the RE again in June to discuss the plan forward and at that time he said we were good candidates for IVF.

In full disclosure I have to tell you some fairly personal stuff, my apologies for the TMI. DH, best friend, love of my life's little swimmers are low and slow. Also he is diabetic and we have been slowly being taken over by the ED monster, so couple that with his back going out on him a couple of months ago and staying out it is like pulling teeth to even get to dtd.

At the meeting with the RE after he jumped right to the IVF I was kind of stunned. I am an eternal optimist and I have always thought all we really needed was to have the baby batter hitch a ride to the tubes so they don't get too tired to get there on their own. RE says IUI is a gamble due to the right tube being blocked. Still I thought I knew what was best for us and our pocket book and talked him into the IUIs. So he gave me a scrip for clomid and after discussing my long cycles (36 days or so) and his planned vacation we figured we would start with the August cycle. Well, we left the office and I decided that we were going to get pregnant for free if it killed us. So I got the OPKs and when we got the pos result we did the BMS several times over the next few days. I thought for sure we did it, but I couldn't even get an evaporation line. When AF came I decided it was time to start charting BBTs. (I really feel like a dummy for not charting sooner or learning more about my own body sooner. But that is water under the bridge.) At any rate, I started charting and watching my CM and doing my OPKs religiously. As soon as all the lights were green, I realized that my DH wasn't going to be able to bring his game so I ran down to the drug store and bought a medicinal syringe. Don't judge me I'm desperate! = ) Not only that but it worked for some friends of mine.
So I went back home and took what I wanted! I was able to get the baby batter where it needed to go for three straight days. They turned out to be the day before, the day of and the day after the big O. I was really excited and just sure we had timed everything just right this time. I even got an big fat implantation dip exactly 7 dpo! So, I am currently 15 dpo and not even an evaporation line. I am pretty sure that I have an 18 day luteal phase, but it shouldn't matter should it? Anyway AF will probably be here in the next couple days so I am coming to terms with the fact that in a couple days I will have to call my RE and start the IUI cycle. I just don't know if I should. I am starting to think that maybe we should just jump into the IVF afterall. I guess because I am starting to think that RE was right with only one tube in the game IUI is a gamble and it's an expensive one coming out of my pocket. I might be able to get my insurance to pay for it, but I am not going to hold my breath or anything. I don't want to waste money on the IUI, but I'm also scared of the IVF thing. I can't get hubby to comment one way or the other. I think he is more concerned at this point about the economy (we're self employed) I know he isn't going to want to spend the savings on IVF, but we have good credit so I am sure we could get a loan, but then I know he is also concerned about bringing a baby into the family when there isn't much economic stability. At this point I am getting very frustrated and depressed.

Anybody have advice?

[JuanaBaby]

Wow, thats a lot to absorb! so, what is your final question? IVF vs. IUI?

Well, we have done so many IUI's I can't even count. I say go straight for IVF. But you have to have Dh on board and that you both are in agreement about everything!!! Because there is no reason to do it if your not.

[BelleAmie]

Well, thanks for reading LOL. Yeah the final question is IUI or IVF, but I think we've decided to put it on hold for a few more months. With hubby's back the way it is he wants to get better before I'm pg cause he really wants to take care of me while I'm pg and be involved. which is nice. Also, he said if we waited a couple months then assuming we can afford it we'll just jump to ivf... so I guess that is our plan and in the mean time we'll just keep doing what we are doing.

[JuanaBaby]

Then what I would suggest in the meantime is go concentrate on your health. Exercise excellent diet., accupuncture. Everything Spiritually healthy and in tune with your marriage. That way when you do have your baby you will know you have done everything possible.