symptoms of clomid after O?

[sweet em]

So - wantingkids - hows the symptoms going? Any change either way? No real change for me - another BFN this morning on cd28, still hope I guess but I'm not really feeling it. Sigh...

[wantingkids]

hey sweet em! Well yesterday I had some pinkish discharge in my underware. I just noticed it there when I went into the bathroom. It was a very small amount. Then today around 12ish i noticed some real dark brown discharge in my underware also, very light amount. I was wearing thongs (I know tmi) and the amount was that it didnt even run over the little cloth area onto my pants. It all stayed on my thong. So I dont know whats going on. Is af starting? or is this something better (like implantation bleedin!) I dont know. I havent taken a test In a couple days because I am scared. But I dont know. I am so sorry about your negative, but I am keeping my fingers crossed for you because I am hoping its way to early, or something! lol. I hope things go well!!!
Amy (ps, symptoms are the same)

[hopenheart]

{Hi, this really is a long story that eventually gets to a point about Clomid, please frogive I am not myself!}
I am 37 years old, I have 3 boys, I have always had diffiuclty conceiving as I only have one open fallopian tube.

The only time in my life I got pregnant- bada -bing was when I was divorcing my now ex-husband some 5 years ago. We had good bye sex, with a condom and somehow lo and behold 6 weeks later I found out I was pregnant. It was, needless to say,the last thing I wanted at the time. I had my little boy by myself , my ex didnt even stay involved with his kids, he took off with some women for Tinidad. Doing it all alone, from pregnant to raising the other kids plus working and he took most of the furniture sucked, but my son is beautiful and years later I meant my parnter for life, I feel loved and supported always and I have three great kids.

That all aside though, I have been remarried for twoand 1/2 years, my current husband has no children of his own and wants to share that experience with me. Becasue of my history my doc recoomended getting busy right away. It took us a year and 1/2 to conceive.

I have a history of low progesterone levels as well. In Feb 05 I was pregnant we were so excited, but in 9 weeks the babies heart beat stopped and I had to have a D&C.

The doc suggested I wait 3-4 months and give a small dose of clomid a try to regulate my ovulation because my cycl just kept getting longer and longer. I tried 50mg. this month Aug 05 on days 5-9 of my cycle. I had a few headaches this month but other than that didnt feel much of anything.

Then 6 days ago I had the strangest cramping feeling. Like a pinch in my uterus, I thought implantation? mmm? but then I felt two more one really close to where the first one was and one on the other side. I jokingly said to myself oh yes implantation of the triplets of course, ha ha ha I mocked my own internal thoughts, but then I started haveing waves of nausea..so I waited because my period was due on the 25th. It came and went and no period.

So last night I tested, Aug 27th with First Reponse, boom two lines, one a bit a lighter but distinctive two lines. I was so excited, I didnt expect to get pregnant on the first dose of clomid.

I was doing my basal body temp chart and I didnt even have a consistent temp rise, so I wasnt even certain I had ovulated. Today I have had no nausea or anything and dont even feel pregnant in any sense of the word. I told myself not to be an obssessive compulsive freak and start thinking about nothing else but the hope of having a baby.. I am not sure there is much hope for me in this..

I have heard lots of women say that you can have miscarriages real easy with clomid too. Does any one know anything about that? I have had alot of misacarriages over the years 5 to be exact. I know its a possibility but I just really want to believe that this time it will be okay, but that is usally a set up. So I tell myself just to not even think about being pregnant until two months form now and if its still there and the baby has a good strong heart beat then hooray, I cant seem to stop thinking though.

In addition I am having alot of little cramps, nothing major but little twinges. Is that from the clomid ? I was wondering how many women have really had multiples as a result of using clomid . If anyone has any info that woudl be great.

Thanks for listening qand good luck to everyone.

[armybaby&wife]

Hi,
I am on Clomid as well. Except on like cycle 6, 7, 8 or something I stopped counting a few months ago. LOL. Its depressing. Im over 7 cycles of the stuff though. Anyways, I read that you have a 10% higher chance of having twins and a lower % of having higher multiples on Clomid. However, it said that the older the age of the women the higher that chance became. I am not sure how all that works though. I just googled Clomid and there was a place called the Clomid Club that had all sorts of info on it. I have extreme hot flashes, headaches, aches, pains, tiredness, etc, etc on Clomid and it can last half way thru my cycle. I wish you luck and I hope this is it for you and everything works out great. I hope you will post again to let us know. I am getting ready to start a new cycle in a day. I am ready. My husband says this is the month, he has been saying that for about 2 weeks. He says he has a feeling, though he usually isn't one to share feelings. So, who knows maybe he is right LOL. Anyways, baby dust and sticky vibes your way and let us know how everything goes.

DM

[wantingkids]

Hey Hopen heart, yes chances go up when you are older for twins/mulitples, but the rate it lower than just regular bding with no clomid or anything. SO the chance of triplets.....kind of next to slim. I know you a bit higher chance of miscarriage due to clomid thins out your uterin wall, making it hard for the little eggie to stick itself in there. My doc said its important if I get a bfp, that I let her know right away, and she can assess that and see how things are looking. As long as you have doctor care ASAP, I am sure you will be fine. Expecially in the cases where you have miscarried before, do you know why, because that could be a reoccuring factor. Again, just talk to your doc asap. Good luck!!!
And by the way, I am on 4th cycle of clomid 100 mg. On 14 dpo, tested BFN this morning, but my temp went up, so its not over until af shows or I get my bfp! keep me posted!!!!
Amy

[hopenheart]

Hey there, Thanks for the responses, I am sorry that I didnt update sooner, I needed some time.

Well the news isnt so good, in fact its the worst. I cant remember if I told you all that I only had one functional fallopian tube. My fallopian tube on the left side became blocked after the birth of my first son when I was 26. I had hemorraged and docotrs didnt find the blood clot until a month later. It had become infected and the infection had spread to my tube and caused it to scar and develop adhesions and close off.

So through all these years I have always concieved via the right tube. ANYWAY:

I got 3-4 HCG levels back and they were doubling , a little low but nothing to become overly worried about. My husband and I were so excited, we just wanted to believe that everything would be alright..We thought clomid was going to be our miracle.

On Thursday Sept 1, 2005 I stopped by my doctors office because those cramps I was experiencing seemed to be getting worse. A nurse assurred me that it was probally normal pregnancy cramps. I wasnt so sure, it didnt feel normal.

That Sat, Sept 3, 2005 My husband and I were going to New York to see my first Broadway performance. I was a big theatre person in college so this was really cool, we had gotten tickets back in April and had great seats for the newTribute to Monty Python show Spamalot, starring my all time favorite actor Tim Curry, yea!
Life had other plans..

We have a really flat front yard and I thought I would hurry up and cut the grass real quick before I packed to catch the ferry in Conneticut down to Long Island. I was mowing for a bit and when I was almost done I started to feel really light headed and just strange. I decided I would just leave the last little corner and put the lawwn mower away before my husband came out and saw I was mowing and freak out on me.

After I put the mower away, my mouth got so dry and I felt so wierd, I decided I better go lay down, I started mentaly beating myself up for over exerting with my miscarriage history.

Our house is a big old farm house and my husband was up packing stuff for the kids who were going to their uncles house so he hadnt noticed anything. They were all up there playing, so I thought I would just go lay down on the couch and just rest a bit.

Then the cramps started, I told myself it was just gas pains and I drank some apple juice and water and was succesfully able to use the bathroom, I even felt better afterwards, and went back to the couch. I kept thinking that I have to go pack and get dressed cause we were due to leave in 45 mins. But I didnt want to move even though the cramps seemed to have subsided. I felt nervouse, I guess I knew something was wrong and just didnt want to really believe it.

My husband came down and we were watching the hoirrable devastation in New Orleans on the news, I started crying, I just couldnt believe no one would help these people. My husband had sat down on the soafa next to me and he had lifted my legs onto his lap. I reached for a tissue and from deep on the right side of my uterus I felt a strange and intense sharp pain. It wouldnt let go.

My kids were in the room and I didnt want to alarm anyone so I stood up to see if I could make it go away but instead the pain became unbearable. My husband saw the look on my face and I will never forget the look on his. He was so scared. He told the boys to go play in the playroom Mommy wasnt feeling well. It was all I could do to not start yelling in pain.

I laid down in the window seat and my husband called the doctor. I wasnt bleeding so I told myself there was hope it could be something else. My brother came and took the boys, my husband rushed me in agony to the doctors. Ultrasound relvealed an ectopic pregnancy on my right side. I begged my doctor to save my tube, please its the only one I have!

She promised to do all she could. I woke up from anestisia 2 hrs later. Did she save my tube I mumbled? no she wasnt able too.

I fell far away from this world. When I woke up again , there was my husband, my wonderful husband just looking so broken and trying to be so strong.

The doctor had told him that by the time she got in ,the tube had ruptured and she had to stop the bleeding. She tried but there was nothing left to do.

My husband told me she said that I was so fortunate to have not gotten on the ferry, because I probally would have bled to death. That really hit me. Something out there was watching out for me I told myself.

I lay in the hospital bed and I watched New Orleans drowning , and people with no hope left dying and I told myself I was just one person suffering. To be grateful that I was alive and that had the children I did, that some people never even get that. I knew were my children were and they were safe, be thankful I told myself.

When I got home, I was on alot of pain medication. They had taken the tube but I still would miscarry the lining from the uterus. When the days went on and it didnt happen I began to tell myself that I was pregnant with twins and only one of them was in the tube and the other was growing just fine in my uterus and in a few days everyone would find out and we would all be so surprised and happy...I just kept daydreaming that fantasy, until I started to bleed.

Then I got really angry and I think it finally settled in, that without IVF, which we cant afford, I was never going to have another child.

I feel like less of a women, somehow broken, incomplete. I feel like I have failed. My husband the one man I have known in my life to do anything for me, will never have a child of his own as long as he is with me.

I just want to scream how unfair, how wrong, how messed up! Then I just feel like a big baby, becasue lots of us are there, I am probally more fortunate than some others, I need to accept this with grace and humility, I am trying.

Last night I dreamed about my mom, she died when I was 17, I have always been sad that she never got to see her grandchildren. I dreamt I gave birth to a baby and she held him, but then it all changed and the baby wasnt alive, and they took it away.

In the dream I would forget I had the baby and I would think I was still pregnant and I would go to touch my pregnant belly and it would be flat and empty and I would remember my baby had died and I knew that my belly woud remain flat and empty forever. I woke up feeling that emptiness.

I was wishing for a little girl, I was going to name her hope. I grew up watching Guiding Light soap opera with my mom and I still watch it, even though these days it seems really stupid more often than not. I guess its my way of being close to my mom.

Anyway, here's some irony. As I was laying on the couch recovering I was watching the show and this story line about this women who is pregnant and a man who steals her baby and pawns it off as his own, yea I know that soap operas for you...but it was wierd because the baby that was born on the show, was a little girl and they named her hope.

I know its just a stupid tv show but it just pissed me off and now when I watch it and they show that baby and say her name its like a deep longing in my heart, I wish to rewind, to change something I can never change and it sucks.

I am going to be okay though, I have always been a survivor and I always will be, just a little crushed right now. Its hard to let go of dreams.

I also never did get to New York to see the show, and attempt to get Tim Curry's autograph which also sucks. At least it could have all happened the weekend before or after, but then I feel bad for thinking that because the timing could have been much worse than just missing a show.

Well I am sorry this is so depressing, I hate being depressing. I just needed to tell this story, maybe so that I can get it firmly in my head.So that I know its really over. Thanks so much for listening and I hope you all have better luck than I did.

Hope forever still in heart because sometimes all we have left is hope and I am not giving mine up.
I believe we should have hope even when all is lost, hope makes us our best selves. Hope, breeds compassion and love and empathy. Hope is our humanity. So no matter what I will continue to hope, for a brighter day, to be brave, to have grace and to develop humility{a challenge for a Leo}

Just maybe somewhere in my fanatsies, that daughter of my dreams will help me to keep hope alive and strong within me. Thanks again

[wantingkids]

Oh my gosh!!!! I cant even begin to imagine how you are feeling right now. I am SO sorry for your loss, not only for your child, but of your tubes. I understand a little how it feels not to be complete. With so many things wrong it seems, I just dont feel like a complete woman. That is so amazing that you are this strong and are getting through it one day at a time. I am still so blown away by your story. I often have to tell myself also that even though I seem to have the worst luck, there are people out there that have it a lot worse than I do, and I should count my blessings. Its amazing you could come to that realization so quickly. I really wish I could say or do something that will erase your hurt and make you feel complete again. If you ever just need to vent or talk or do whatever, feel free. I am always here to listen. My heart goes out to you and your family. And thank god that even though it was a tradegy, he saved your life. and sometimes that is the most important. Your in my prayers!!!!
Amy

[tuckytex]

hi hopenheart

I am so sorry to hear about what you are going through, I know it must hurt and be very depressing but there are always people here to listen and feel for you. I wish you the best.
Danica

[hopenheart]

Thanks so much you guys for all your support. I am grateful that this forumn exists and that I have somewhere to think this stuff out loud and get to know other women wh are sturggling with fertility issues too.
I have been doing alot of thinking, I have an option to undergo a tubal surgery on my left tube that is damaged. Its been this way for 11 years though and the Doc isnt optimistic. She is giving me a 20% -30%chance of being able to conceive after she reconstructs the tube. Then if I did concieve, I would run a 1 out of 3 chance of it being ectopic again. Not very good odds, but my only other chance is IVF and I just dont know how we would even begin to afford that.
I am not sure about anything at this point. Has anyone here had tubal reconstruction? My doc says while statistics are not great she has had people get pregnant after this type of surgery.
Thanks again for all your support.

[dee723]

hi openheart-
i am so sorry for your loss and i am happy for your new found hope!!!!
I will be praying for you every night from now on.....
Your story has given me a new outlook on things-
THANK YOU

Keep us posted on all of your future treatment....

XOXOXOX
Dee