Handling The Holidays?

**BC-IrishBrat1313** · 11-17-2008, 01:52 PM

I know the holidays are coming and that's always such a dark time during the TTC periods. I was wondering if anyone has anything planned to make it a little lighter?

Little fluff · 11-24-2008, 03:58 AM

Hopefully I will have a BFP to celebrate CHristmas with this year but if not we will just get through it like we do every year, quietly and with a touch of sorrow.

cindyrella25 · 11-24-2008, 03:35 PM

Ahhh yes.....the holidays.

T day:

Mom & Dad's with my brother's crazy (IL) family. Hopefully we will not have field questions on our sex life over dinner......last year it was quite a disruptive conversation.

(SIL's mother brought up TTC over dinner, she thought maybe if I wore something "nice" that might do the trick....I said lovely thought dear, but I'm sure my stupid ovaries and his stupid swimmers could care less what I'm wearing. I got up and stomped out, my dad was yelling at her, my mom's trying to keep the peace.....

)

Can't even try to go shopping for black Friday.......this is tradition for BF & I. I have to work.

Christmas we'll do it all over again.

Can you tell I'm a bit of a bah-hum-bug?

Sorry. I haven't had much interest in the holidays the last few years.

**BC-IrishBrat1313** · 11-24-2008, 03:47 PM

I can really understand. Normally it's...."so, when are you going to have kids?" Well let's see.....when my ovaries get the picture that they should start working!

Even now that I have my son I still hurt on the holidays. I can't explain the pain now. I'm so bitter with IF it just sucks. Every year we would make a wish with the wishbone on TurkeyDay and it would be the same wish...please give us a child. Every New Year the same thing. I can't believe the pain still stays with.

dee32 · 11-25-2008, 12:09 PM

Unfortunately I think the pain will stay for most. Even though I had a child I am still of IF mind. I thought once I had one I wouldn't feel that way but nope I do and everytime someone announces they are pregnant or a baby is born yes I am very happy but very jealous. I hate the fact that I don't have a choice on what size my family is and every year I am reminded of that by my very and I mean very fertile dh's family. All they have to do is decide to have a baby and the next month they are pregnant.

lovednotspoiled · 12-01-2008, 03:45 PM

I was asking myself this today...I barely got through Thanksgiving without wanting to cry every 5 minutes. I just miscarried Nov. 21st, so I don't know if it that I still have hormone issues or what but I am feeling very blue. I hate to say it, but I am ready for Christmas to just be over with.

**BC-IrishBrat1313** · 12-01-2008, 05:51 PM

Loved: I'm so sorry for your loss. I can't even imagine how daily life would feel let alone the holidays. Sometimes our drive to get pregnant and have a baby can pull us through the darkest times.

How did everyone hold up? Were you making a wish on the wishbone?

amybudd · 12-05-2008, 03:20 AM

I am having a horrible time this Christmas. We are on to two years ttc this December. I am so frustrated and tired of it all. We are not even getting a tree, whats the point?. We will drive the 3 hours down to my parents on christmas eve night and back home before Christmas Night so I can go to work. Barely 24 hours. Last month I spotted for 4 weeks then had a normal period 3 weeks late. This month we aren't even letting it happen on its own, I'm on Provera for 10 days then hopefully a period. I don't know if its the hormones giving me the blues or its just the holidays.

badhairday2 · 12-10-2008, 01:56 PM

This is my first post, I have never done this before. Christmas is usually my favourite time of year but lately it is very stressfull for me. I am really dreading it this year because my cousin is coming home and she is going to surprise everyone with her pregnancy news. I only found out by accident and she doesn't know I know. My problem is that I don't know how I am going to react when she is standing there with her baby bump. It hurts so much. She is really young and only got pregnant to keep her boyfriend - or try to. She didn't even want kids. Then will come the questions to me and my husband "when are you 2 going to have a baby" We have been married for 7 years (trying to conceive for 5) and I still don't know how to answer this. I feel like I have to lie or otherwise I feel guilty because I am infertile. None of my family understands what we are going through and I just need someone to talk to. I am hurting so bad and I don't know how to deal with it.

**BC-IrishBrat1313** · 12-10-2008, 04:21 PM

Badhairday,

I'm so sorry you are feeling alone. The holidays just make everything so much worse. Not to mention your cousin giving her "great" news too. We all have to put on the fake smile, do they congrats you are so lucky speech, when all the while we are crying inside. When asked the "when are you 2 going to have kids" question...I normally responded with... we are working on it. You shouldn't feel guilty about being infertile. It's not something you did to yourself. Let them know as much as you are comfortable with. If you feel like letting some people in it might help. Or you can get the usual...relax speech. Yuck!

Are you seeing an RE or doing any treatments?

11-17-2008, 01:52 PM	#1 (permalink)
BC-IrishBrat1313 Just Trying To Help Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Lakeland, Georiga Posts: 3,665 Blog Entries: 471	Handling The Holidays? I know the holidays are coming and that's always such a dark time during the TTC periods. I was wondering if anyone has anything planned to make it a little lighter?

11-24-2008, 03:35 PM	#3 (permalink)
cindyrella25 1000-4999 post queen of hearts Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Brookfield, WI Posts: 4,171 Blog Entries: 83	Ahhh yes.....the holidays. T day: Mom & Dad's with my brother's crazy (IL) family. Hopefully we will not have field questions on our sex life over dinner......last year it was quite a disruptive conversation. (SIL's mother brought up TTC over dinner, she thought maybe if I wore something "nice" that might do the trick....I said lovely thought dear, but I'm sure my stupid ovaries and his stupid swimmers could care less what I'm wearing. I got up and stomped out, my dad was yelling at her, my mom's trying to keep the peace..... ) Can't even try to go shopping for black Friday.......this is tradition for BF & I. I have to work. Christmas we'll do it all over again. Can you tell I'm a bit of a bah-hum-bug? Sorry. I haven't had much interest in the holidays the last few years. __________________ Me (36), DH (53) & Sassy the cat...12 yrs After 9 LONG years TI, IUI etc... Currently pursuing some kind of adoption "It's not what you take when you leave this world behind you, it's what you leave behind you when you go" *Proud member of the 777 club*

11-24-2008, 03:47 PM	#4 (permalink)
BC-IrishBrat1313 Just Trying To Help Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Lakeland, Georiga Posts: 3,665 Blog Entries: 471	child ment. I can really understand. Normally it's...."so, when are you going to have kids?" Well let's see.....when my ovaries get the picture that they should start working! Even now that I have my son I still hurt on the holidays. I can't explain the pain now. I'm so bitter with IF it just sucks. Every year we would make a wish with the wishbone on TurkeyDay and it would be the same wish...please give us a child. Every New Year the same thing. I can't believe the pain still stays with.

11-25-2008, 12:09 PM	#5 (permalink)
dee32 1000-4999 post queen of hearts Join Date: Oct 2004 Location: nj Posts: 2,235	Unfortunately I think the pain will stay for most. Even though I had a child I am still of IF mind. I thought once I had one I wouldn't feel that way but nope I do and everytime someone announces they are pregnant or a baby is born yes I am very happy but very jealous. I hate the fact that I don't have a choice on what size my family is and every year I am reminded of that by my very and I mean very fertile dh's family. All they have to do is decide to have a baby and the next month they are pregnant. __________________ Me 36 DH 40 One Beautiful Baby Girl Born 10/4/05!!!! Melanie Anna

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11-24-2008, 03:58 AM	#2 (permalink)
Little fluff 1000-4999 post queen of hearts Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: Albury NSW - Australia Posts: 1,908	Hopefully I will have a BFP to celebrate CHristmas with this year but if not we will just get through it like we do every year, quietly and with a touch of sorrow.

12-01-2008, 03:45 PM	#6 (permalink)
lovednotspoiled Registered User Join Date: Jun 2008 Location: Texas Posts: 11	I was asking myself this today...I barely got through Thanksgiving without wanting to cry every 5 minutes. I just miscarried Nov. 21st, so I don't know if it that I still have hormone issues or what but I am feeling very blue. I hate to say it, but I am ready for Christmas to just be over with.

12-01-2008, 05:51 PM	#7 (permalink)
BC-IrishBrat1313 Just Trying To Help Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Lakeland, Georiga Posts: 3,665 Blog Entries: 471	Loved: I'm so sorry for your loss. I can't even imagine how daily life would feel let alone the holidays. Sometimes our drive to get pregnant and have a baby can pull us through the darkest times. How did everyone hold up? Were you making a wish on the wishbone?

12-05-2008, 03:20 AM	#8 (permalink)
amybudd Registered User Join Date: Dec 2008 Location: Sacramento Posts: 2	I am having a horrible time this Christmas. We are on to two years ttc this December. I am so frustrated and tired of it all. We are not even getting a tree, whats the point?. We will drive the 3 hours down to my parents on christmas eve night and back home before Christmas Night so I can go to work. Barely 24 hours. Last month I spotted for 4 weeks then had a normal period 3 weeks late. This month we aren't even letting it happen on its own, I'm on Provera for 10 days then hopefully a period. I don't know if its the hormones giving me the blues or its just the holidays.

12-10-2008, 01:56 PM	#9 (permalink)
badhairday2 Registered User Join Date: Dec 2008 Location: Ontario Canada Posts: 1	This is my first post, I have never done this before. Christmas is usually my favourite time of year but lately it is very stressfull for me. I am really dreading it this year because my cousin is coming home and she is going to surprise everyone with her pregnancy news. I only found out by accident and she doesn't know I know. My problem is that I don't know how I am going to react when she is standing there with her baby bump. It hurts so much. She is really young and only got pregnant to keep her boyfriend - or try to. She didn't even want kids. Then will come the questions to me and my husband "when are you 2 going to have a baby" We have been married for 7 years (trying to conceive for 5) and I still don't know how to answer this. I feel like I have to lie or otherwise I feel guilty because I am infertile. None of my family understands what we are going through and I just need someone to talk to. I am hurting so bad and I don't know how to deal with it.

12-10-2008, 04:21 PM	#10 (permalink)
BC-IrishBrat1313 Just Trying To Help Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Lakeland, Georiga Posts: 3,665 Blog Entries: 471	Badhairday, I'm so sorry you are feeling alone. The holidays just make everything so much worse. Not to mention your cousin giving her "great" news too. We all have to put on the fake smile, do they congrats you are so lucky speech, when all the while we are crying inside. When asked the "when are you 2 going to have kids" question...I normally responded with... we are working on it. You shouldn't feel guilty about being infertile. It's not something you did to yourself. Let them know as much as you are comfortable with. If you feel like letting some people in it might help. Or you can get the usual...relax speech. Yuck! Are you seeing an RE or doing any treatments?