fosterparenting day to day: thoughts, frustrations and joys

[mellymom]

see my post, I got a new baby!

melanie

[HopesPromise]

Casey, I agree with Elated. Sorry it is so hard to understand why they do what they do.

[curious_girl]

Hi, I'm Laura and I wanted to wait until I had read the whole long original posting before I came out of lurkdom.

I have 2 children via domestic adoption ages 6 and 4. My husband says we are done, two kids, two parents, it evens out.

But somehow, I don't know if I am done. I read through all your stories. The first night I just wanted to see if the TPR was ordered in the case of Casey's little girl. The next night of reading, I was anxiously trying to find out about Soultea's kiddos. And last night, I was in suspense over Jazzy's little boy. And found myself smiling over Melanie wearing a red wedding dress. I have not upgraded yet so I only could only picture it in my head.

You women are so amazing in all your stories (including those I did not mention above). I felt so educated when I went to the CPS foster/adopt information meeting tonight.

Thanks for sharing your lives and stories both good and bad. And for schooling us newbies who haven't decided what road we are on yet.

Laura

[casey0531]

Hi Curiousgirl!

I am so glad to hear that someone is still reading our original thread. I am still heart broken that is got moved!

So, I am guessing that you aren't done if you went to an info meeting tonight. This was the month that my husband and I went to our first info meeting. (It's a lucky month!)
Believe it or not, but I still think...well, maybe I am not done yet. I mean, I am not wanting 14 kids or anything BUT one more might be nice.

Where are you located at in Texas? PM me if you don't want to say in public. I am in the panhandle area so I am dying to find someone in that area!! Or should I say, I was in that area...just moved a few miles into the other state. But thats still my home and where my mom is!

Okay...well on to other news. I think my little girls' bio-mother is pregnant again. She is using and has confessed to the bio-dad that she has missed her period. She is the most lost person I have ever met or known of!! I want to shake her and tell her to wake up!! This would be her 5th baby!! AND HAS NONE OF THEM! She didn't tell me personally so I don't think I should confront her. So frustrating!! Sorry to vent to you guys. I'm just trying to get a gripe on my emotions so when she calls I just don't bite her head off. UGH!!! I'm good

[mellymom]

hugs, casey.....kendell is mommy's #5, and she went on to have collin after her, still not 'fixed' either, so we'll see what comes of it in the future. he is the only one she has, but for how long? would you try for the new baby if the events turned that way?

I'm not sure if I'll ever get past 'just one more',and I don't know the total number of children who will pass through or stay in my home. I also don't know, how long we can do this. my plan is 20 more years, but after this weekend, I wonder. it is hard to move them in and out, worry about one more, even if it seems pretty okay to go home. I spent yesterday pretty much busy, but somewhat down. when I did some introspection, I realized it was a bit of a 'post return depression' type of thing, what ever the term is for it. its not the care of the children that gets me so tired, its getting involved with the families. I end up getting to know them so much, know whats the issues that started the road into care, and then run liason with the cw sometimes. its the families that make me tired, their decisions that aren't in the best interest of the child, but in the best interest of self. selfishness, I hate. my new hubby is just not sure about the whole process of seeing me sad and frustrated, this is our 3rd return since we've been together. little c's return for 10 days was heartwrenching. knowing it totally wasn't the right decision for the little guy. thankfully he came back. now we worry about the next court date. if I could just 'distance' myself from humanity I suppose we'd be better, but that just isn't possible.

welcome curious, its a journey all right. welcome aboard, lurk no more and chime in all the time! its so wonderful to see our board come alive again! my first anniversary was just in Dec and I was wishing I could just run around in the dress about the house because it was just so fun! email and I'll send you along a pic of the day! I need to upgrade, I just ran out on the 7th, but have been too lazy to make a payment! do you know what direction your heart is starting out in the process?....ages, sex, abilities/disabilities?

melanie

[casey0531]

I honestly don't know what I would do if the baby ended up, possibly coming our way. Me and my husband spoke about it last night, as a matter of fact. Because if you recall...she has asked me numerous times if I wanted her youngest son. We had him as a temp foster placement at the very very beginning. Only for a couple of weeks. And since then, anytime things get rough or she gets tired, she asks, "Do you want ****?". I had to get tough with her and say "No, you need to be his mommy, He loves you and needs you so pull yourself together and do this". Parenting is not easy BY NO MEANS but you have to just keep on doing it. And then when you just can't do it anymore, you have a wonderful day and it makes it all worth while. OR your kid brings home a homemade Valentine card and asks for you to be their sweetheart. (Yes, mine did that yesterday! How sweet!!) But, I just don't know. I am to the point where I am exhausted with her! She has made me a crazy person! So, do you ever get to the point where you say, enough is enough and I have to move on without her? I cannot parent her as well as my other two. She hasn't seen my daughter in months and months now. She doesn't ask to see her either. As a matter of fact, she doesn't ask about her at all! She is totally consumed with me. What do I do? Move on? Keep parenting her? I just don't know. I do know that my daughter is getting older and before I know she is going to realize what is happening. AUGH!!!!!! Okay, I gotta quit obsessing! Not a good way to start the day

BUT Melanie..I do understand...its the relationships with the family that get you the most. Don't you just want to shake them? LOL

[HopesPromise]

OR your kid brings home a homemade Valentine card and asks for you to be their sweetheart. (Yes, mine did that yesterday! How sweet!!)

Aren't those homemade cards the best!?!! I bawled when my dd came home from preschool last year and brought me my first Mother's Day card and bookmark made at school. So sweet!!

Birth Parents....yes by far the hardest thing to deal with!!

[HopesPromise]

Because this thread is getting long, I have to remind you to please, start a new thread each week. They're much more manageable when they're not so long. So, start a new thread Monday & just use the title, Foster parenting day to day: Week of Feb. 16th. Then each Monday, start a new thread, using the date that the thread is starting. That way you'll all know which is the new thread.

[mellymom]

ah ha, finally.....help oh BC....what does 'managable' mean in respect to a long thread? that will help us understand the movement of our beloved old thread. by keeping a long thread, it comes back to each of us and keeps us in the know with one another on a specific topic or thought. by starting a new one each week, it removes the continuity that our newest member just was so excited about following our long thread. if we do lots of threads, it will get lost in the shuffle,not keep the thought going. teach us please.

melanie

[tingirl]

this is sort of a weird board that way- we are too stubborn, and like to hang on to things like threads. lol