What foster parent issues worry you?

[PebbleRock]

What are some of the isues that as foster parents worry you. I guess what I mean children are sent to your home that come from all backgrounds. For ex. sexual abuse, abuse neglect. Are there certain issues that you cannot handle. Like a child who was sexual abjused by her father and she was acting out sexually KWIM?

I guess what I am trying to find out as foster parents are there any issues you can't handle?

[Lauri]

Two issues that worry me are an agressive child and a child that acts out sexually. I would not want my children to be around these two behaviors.

[Machelle]

Personally we are not willing to accept children who have demonstrated violence toward animals. We have three cats and three small dogs, and we would not be willing to expose them to such a danger.

Because we don't have other children in the home, a child who acts out sexually wouldn't have a negative affect on other, but it seems that it would be very sad to witness. I don't believe we have ruled out accepting a child with this issue.

I am concerned about a child who has RAD. Thier behaviors are very disturbing to me. I feel their are people who are more equiped to deal with such issues than I am. Of course, a lot of foster children under age 5, which is the age limit we have set for ourselves, would likely not have such a diagnosis yet.

There was a little girl age 4, who was available for adoption through our state. When I called her case worker to inquire about her, we found out that she was violent toward animals, so that eliminated us as a possibility immediately.

It looks like violent behavior is my biggest concern.

[KyleAshMom]

We wouldn't accept children that were sexually abused or acted out sexually.

When we had our foster girls we found out 1 yr after having them that the one or maybe both were sexually abused. They were not acting out, until 2 yrs later but we worked with them and just kept an eye on them and our daughter.

Now had they sexually abused my daughter they would have had to move, they were not abusing each other they would do things to themselves which we had to teach them was not done (at least in public).

Debbie

[SaraLee]

Ive always said I dont like taking very defiant children but I do think I could handle it a bit better now that I have more parenting experience. BUT, I still think I would avoid it. Who wants to fight with a kid all day long?! lol My own are stinkers enough sometimes!
Im open to a lot more than I used to be thats for sure. I guess I wouldnt want to deal with any sexually active or violent children. Im definately more open to sn's though now that Ive dealt with some of them.
There are a couple of families here that Ive met on our panel who take the SAY (sexually active youth) kids and it can be really difficult because the community is very leary of these kids and the foster parents have to really advocate for them to get the schools to take them and stuff. One message these families are always trying to get across is that its not these kids fault and they really just need to be taught differently, that they have been taught this by their parents or whoever. These two families who I have heard talk about their SAY kids, proudly state that not one of these children have reoffended since being in there homes and have grown up to be fine people. Just wanted to pass along some postive info about SAY kids.