Just a vent session...

[babybump]

Well, here i am yet again getting that lovely visit from aunt flo. (hate that bit#$!) My husband and i have been TTC for over 3 years. We have already done 5 months of hormones in the past. But now we are moving on to IUI. Luckily my insurance is covering 6 tries with iui and 3 with IVF. So that means i only get 8 more tries to be a mother. We took the month off because my sisters wedding was 9 months away at that point and plus i just kind of needed some mental prep time. Because my goodness this is hard! I can't stop crying because i am terrified to start the wait and see game. My life for the next 8 months is prepare myself for 2 weeks to concieve with hormones and dr. visits and then wait 2 LONG weeks to have my heartbroken. And start it all over again. I want a baby more than anything but i don't know if i can do this. I can't stand having my heart ripped apart every month and then haaving to tell my husband that it didn't work. Like i said this is just a vent session and my thoughts are probably so scattered and confusing.