1 failed fresh IVF, 1 failed frozen IVF

morganlafey · 09-15-2009, 12:43 PM

It's been a week since we found out that my FET failed. I know it is illogical, but I still had the hope, burried deep inside of me, that the bloodwork was wrong. Untill I started to bleed heavily today. It just seems so final. Does anyone else feel like this? The bad news from the doctor, about the bloodwork, hurts like hell, breaks your heart. But you deal with it. And then, a week or so later, when you get your period, it breaks all over again. *sigh*

I know that fertiltiy is a long road. I tell myself that these things take time. I try not to give up hope. I plaster a smile on my face and go about my day.

But sometimes, the pain is so overwhelming that I don't want to get out of bed. Sometimes it just sneaks up on me and catches me, unawares, and floors me. Sometimes I wonder how much of this I can handle.

I'm so glad there is a place we can come and vent our feelings to people who really do understand what we are going through. Because no matter how much they try, if our friends and family haven't dealt with infertiltiy, they will never really know how much it hurts.

malley · 09-15-2009, 01:53 PM

I started to cry reading what u said. I think we as women are very resilient and infertility unwillingly makes us more so. It can all be so shocking along the way. The pain u mention so unforgiving. every cycle the emotions, up-down, at every turn no idea what may be in store. It ebbs and flows. Sometime no idea how to keep it in check. How you say it sneaks up and catches unaware... how true! I'm sorry for u and all of us here. but also like you say... others who really understand. sometimes does help to not feel so alone. then, too..., we'll be on the upswing again. PEACE!

TTCyears · 09-16-2009, 07:34 PM

That is exactly how it is for me! That after the initial upset, during the "limbo" time, I could somehow still be pg, that there was a lab error they didn't catch, or I have some unique metabolism that yielded false results, or all those tests are just foo foo anyway. Well, maybe you don't take it that far. But, yeah, I understand you.

I am sorry the cycles failed. It sounds like you are very aware these are a part of your journey and not the whole or end of it. Yes, take good care of yourself during this difficult time.

Hugs,
~Sharon

09-15-2009, 12:43 PM	#1 (permalink)
morganlafey 0-99 post 2 of hearts Join Date: Sep 2008 Location: allentown, pa Posts: 3	1 failed fresh IVF, 1 failed frozen IVF It's been a week since we found out that my FET failed. I know it is illogical, but I still had the hope, burried deep inside of me, that the bloodwork was wrong. Untill I started to bleed heavily today. It just seems so final. Does anyone else feel like this? The bad news from the doctor, about the bloodwork, hurts like hell, breaks your heart. But you deal with it. And then, a week or so later, when you get your period, it breaks all over again. sigh I know that fertiltiy is a long road. I tell myself that these things take time. I try not to give up hope. I plaster a smile on my face and go about my day. But sometimes, the pain is so overwhelming that I don't want to get out of bed. Sometimes it just sneaks up on me and catches me, unawares, and floors me. Sometimes I wonder how much of this I can handle. I'm so glad there is a place we can come and vent our feelings to people who really do understand what we are going through. Because no matter how much they try, if our friends and family haven't dealt with infertiltiy, they will never really know how much it hurts.

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09-15-2009, 01:53 PM	#2 (permalink)
malley 0-99 post 2 of hearts Join Date: Mar 2009 Location: nassau county, ny Posts: 11	I started to cry reading what u said. I think we as women are very resilient and infertility unwillingly makes us more so. It can all be so shocking along the way. The pain u mention so unforgiving. every cycle the emotions, up-down, at every turn no idea what may be in store. It ebbs and flows. Sometime no idea how to keep it in check. How you say it sneaks up and catches unaware... how true! I'm sorry for u and all of us here. but also like you say... others who really understand. sometimes does help to not feel so alone. then, too..., we'll be on the upswing again. PEACE!

09-16-2009, 07:34 PM	#3 (permalink)
TTCyears 200-299 post 4 of hearts Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: Colorado Posts: 239	That is exactly how it is for me! That after the initial upset, during the "limbo" time, I could somehow still be pg, that there was a lab error they didn't catch, or I have some unique metabolism that yielded false results, or all those tests are just foo foo anyway. Well, maybe you don't take it that far. But, yeah, I understand you. I am sorry the cycles failed. It sounds like you are very aware these are a part of your journey and not the whole or end of it. Yes, take good care of yourself during this difficult time. Hugs, ~Sharon