4th IVF FAILED - I am so frustrated and shocked!!

[Bellacossina]

I don't even know what to think about all of this!! I have just went through my 4th IVF transfer and with all of the loss and BFNs, I just don't know if I have it in me to go through this again.

We have 3 embryos frozen and I am wondering if I should pack them up and take them with me to a new facility. I have changed REs, but essentially I have stayed with the same facility and the same embryologist has done all of my transfers.

We have had a barrage of tests and all of our fertilization "markers" along the way have not given the Drs any indication that we would need PGD or donors.

For good measure I have set up 2 other appts with 2 news Drs aside from my follow-up appt.

Does anyone have any advice on what I may not be looking at? We are thinking about the adoption route, but knowing it's just as difficult a journey, I am trying to keep a level head about either path.

I need help seeing the forest through the trees.....

[cvpis4me]

I would go to www.sart.org and check out your facility's success rate for FET before going through with it and check out the two new facilities as well. Some places are as low as 25%, not very comforting to me

[barren-bipolar]

Have you asked your RE about immune issues? (especially since you already had a miscarriage)

[bbchi]

hey bella. so sorry for your situation. sounds like we have some similarities so your post caught my eye. we are same ages w/same age hubbies. we started trying a little later than you sounds like. i totally think you should get a second opinion...i know you like your doctor and i liked my first one as well. but sometimes you need a fresh eye on your medical record and some thoughts of new things you might try. a lot of this stuff is a bit voodoo but sometimes a different protocol can make a difference for you. but then again, looking at your blog, sounds like you've switched before? are you at cornell now? i think that's supposed to be a pretty good place. my doc told me cornell and nyu are supposed to be good programs in NY. i was going to ask about blood work for recurrent loss but sounds like you did that too. some people have gone to CCRM in colorado when all else has failed. I've definitely considered it. Gosh, reading your blog could be like reading my own diary. The thoughts about acupuncture and herbs and losing weight and feeling great...and still not f-ing getting pregnant. and about not telling your husband when you take pregnancy tests. i have thought about adoption too...but looked it up...that is expensive!!! i guess not out of the question but i guess i haven't given up hope yet. even though sometimes i sort of minimally want to. oh-and i think i've heard of conception xr and some kind of antioxidant thing they sell at gnc...supposed to help w/sperm. i think if you've done everything else, you may want to consider CGH...maybe it's an "egg quality" issue. stupid eggs. why didn't we meet our husbands when we were 28?

i know this post is kind of disjointed an non-organized. i guess my point is...you are not alone. if you still want to try, you should. it definitely takes it's toll...emotionally, physically and monetarily. and that's putting it mildly. but "they" say it's all worth it if you get to the desired outcome.

[TTCyears]

It's crazy making. And the options seem near endless (this dr, this practice, this procedure, this subprocedure, this risk, this benefit... yada yada yada). Yet time is not endless. Crazy making. I hear ya!!!

I've been doing a lot of reading about pg loss and it would suggest that in the immediate time after the failed cycle or loss, you will see trees 90% of the time and forest only 10%. It will shift, and in the meantime perhaps some scheduled "forest time" could help?

[...]

[Bellacossina]

TTCyears ~ I am so sorry for your losses!! Have you gone to CCRM? I would love to come home to the SW - I grew up in NM. I am going to keep on moving forward through this forest and hopefully, since it is Fall, I will find time to stop and admire the leaves changing colors on the trees :-) I am wishing you all the very best and I would love to keep in touch if you are up for it.

bbchi~ Hello Sista!!! WOW.... we do have a lot in common.... thank you for reading my blog I am going to go back to Cornell - I was there for my IUIs and wanted to do my next fresh IVF cycle, but I got the NY State grant at another facility, so I didn't get to do an IVF cycle there. Now I have insurance that covers about 1 IVF fresh and 1 frozen so I am going to see what my Dr says about my case and go from there. In the meantime, I am also seeing a Dr that takes more of a natural approach to IVF. His practice is much smaller than Cornell, NYU, RMA or Columbia, but smaller may be better??!

Wish we all lived closer ladies - it would be nice to chat in person!!

What other groups are you in so we can be in touch??

[TTCyears]

Bella, I went to a community outreach seminar CCRM had and was impressed. If CCRM took UHC, I'd be there in a blink. But they don't; of course my insurance runs out soon anyway. I did go to a community outreach seminar they had and like it. I also went for a second opinion and am forever grateful for a surgical referral they gave me.

Wishing you well at the Cornell facility!!

~Sharon

[bbchi]

Bella--I thought maybe smaller is better but sometimes bigger means better resources. I was all into the natural stuff for a while but now I'm not so sure again. I tend to jump on any bandwagon that's giving me new hope. But it's not really worked for me so far. Good luck w/your meetings with all the new groups.

I'm not sure what group I'll be with next. I will be doing an FET (3 embryos this time...a little scary). But have to wait for HCG to come down before I can start protocol. Not sure how long that will take. My guess is transfer in November. So I may look for an Oct/Nov FET group on the FET board. Feel free to PM me anytime though. There's also a good thread on the IVF board that allows venting...check it out....
http://www.fertilethoughts.com/forum...90#post6792090
It's the Confessions thread on the IVF board.

Anyway, drop me a message after your consults and let me know how it goes! Good night!