My sad 1st IVF story

NewBlue221 · 05-27-2009, 08:35 PM

Hello everyone! I'm so happy I found FT while I was going through my 2ww over the past few days.. it has already help!

But I'm getting ahead of myself. I learned today that I had a BFN on my first IVF try. I know the odds were against me and I know not to lose hope but it's so hard, and people don't understand! While on stims one of the Drs. (met him for the first time while he was doing my VUS.. lovely) told me that he feels my ovaries have more potential and he wishes I was "thinner".. they retrieved 8 eggs, I transfered ome 8cell Embie on D3 and none of the others made it to day 5... so nothing is frozen.

Now I'm at a fork in the road.. insurance pays for the IVF but I have a high detuctible and it starts all over June 1st. Plus I'm starting to think that for some reason my body won't work at the weight I am now so I should try my hardest to lose some weight (I have PCOS). So I'm leaning towards taking a few months off to save and lose.. but can I wait?? And why the hell did this happen to me in the first place? I'm not the fattest person in the world, I'm not evil, and I DO NOT deserve this!!

My "favorite" quote someone told me today after I told them about my failure was "Everything Happens for a Reason" Hmmm... I felt like the whole thing was thrown right back in my face right there...

Thanks for listening

sweetshell1978 · 05-28-2009, 02:05 AM

NewBlue- I am so very sorry for your BFN. I am also glad you found this site. It has been a lifeline for me through the years.I know exactly how you feel. A failed cycle is the hardest thing to go through with infertility. I just had my 3rd failed cycle. I am taking the summer off to try to lose some weight and try acupunture. We only have one more try and I am going to give it all I've got! lol Don't lose hope just yet. They base the sucess rates off of 3 cycles. I actully got a BFP my 2nd time(first IVF with new RE) sadly ended in a chemical but hey I got that BFP!! I think it is a good thing to take a break. Especially for your body. After our bfp/chemical we jumped into our 2nd cycle really fast and we ended up having way less eggs and nothing to freeze.What i have found helps after a bfn is to go out and do all the things couples with kids CANT do

We also avoid places filled with little ones just for a little while. And for those who give the great "advice" I used to be nice, but now I come up with some really good comebacks to make them as uncomfortable as they have made me! We don't deserve this IF crap and we will beat it one way or another, hopefully sooner than later! Hang in there, I really hope everything works out for you. You can IM me anytime! Please feel free to vent,cry,laugh That's what us IF sisters are for

Big hugs to you.

erica2107 · 05-28-2009, 08:33 PM

I received a BFN last month and was completely devastated. I am currently stimming for my new cycle right now. I kind of feel like my life is on hold. There is so much i want to do and i feel like without a child everything is pointless. Going to the grocery store is one of the hardest things for me to do because it always seems like everyone is either pregnant or has a baby is their cart. All i can say is it will get easier getting over this BFN. Its just one more hurdle and i know you've had a lot going through ivf (everyone does). One day it will be our turn. Have faith.

NewBlue221 · 05-29-2009, 08:41 PM

Thank you both of you! I am going to take your advice and enjoy the little things you can do when u don't have kids this summer... minus eatting bad. LOL Good luck to everyone!

05-27-2009, 08:35 PM	#1 (permalink)
NewBlue221 0-99 post 2 of hearts Join Date: May 2009 Location: Feeding Hills, MA Posts: 19	My sad 1st IVF story Hello everyone! I'm so happy I found FT while I was going through my 2ww over the past few days.. it has already help! But I'm getting ahead of myself. I learned today that I had a BFN on my first IVF try. I know the odds were against me and I know not to lose hope but it's so hard, and people don't understand! While on stims one of the Drs. (met him for the first time while he was doing my VUS.. lovely) told me that he feels my ovaries have more potential and he wishes I was "thinner".. they retrieved 8 eggs, I transfered ome 8cell Embie on D3 and none of the others made it to day 5... so nothing is frozen. Now I'm at a fork in the road.. insurance pays for the IVF but I have a high detuctible and it starts all over June 1st. Plus I'm starting to think that for some reason my body won't work at the weight I am now so I should try my hardest to lose some weight (I have PCOS). So I'm leaning towards taking a few months off to save and lose.. but can I wait?? And why the hell did this happen to me in the first place? I'm not the fattest person in the world, I'm not evil, and I DO NOT deserve this!! My "favorite" quote someone told me today after I told them about my failure was "Everything Happens for a Reason" Hmmm... I felt like the whole thing was thrown right back in my face right there... Thanks for listening __________________ Laura O. Married in Vegas 2/14/2006 TTC since 2006 Saw Repro Endo 9/2008 2 cycles clomid/HCG- BFN 2 cycles clomid/HCG/IUI- BFN 1st IVF- 5/2009- BFN Miracle Natural Baby! Due 7/2010

05-28-2009, 02:05 AM	#2 (permalink)
sweetshell1978 100-199 post 3 of hearts Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: Hayden, Id Posts: 118	NewBlue- I am so very sorry for your BFN. I am also glad you found this site. It has been a lifeline for me through the years.I know exactly how you feel. A failed cycle is the hardest thing to go through with infertility. I just had my 3rd failed cycle. I am taking the summer off to try to lose some weight and try acupunture. We only have one more try and I am going to give it all I've got! lol Don't lose hope just yet. They base the sucess rates off of 3 cycles. I actully got a BFP my 2nd time(first IVF with new RE) sadly ended in a chemical but hey I got that BFP!! I think it is a good thing to take a break. Especially for your body. After our bfp/chemical we jumped into our 2nd cycle really fast and we ended up having way less eggs and nothing to freeze.What i have found helps after a bfn is to go out and do all the things couples with kids CANT do We also avoid places filled with little ones just for a little while. And for those who give the great "advice" I used to be nice, but now I come up with some really good comebacks to make them as uncomfortable as they have made me! We don't deserve this IF crap and we will beat it one way or another, hopefully sooner than later! Hang in there, I really hope everything works out for you. You can IM me anytime! Please feel free to vent,cry,laugh That's what us IF sisters are for Big hugs to you. __________________ Married to the love of my life TTC #1 for 9 long years IVF#1 2005 BFN Fet#1 2005 BFN IVF# 2 1/09 BFP Chem Pg IVF#3 w/ICSI 4/09 BFN Natural Miracle!! 2nd u/s 08/19 Last edited by sweetshell1978; 05-28-2009 at 02:08 AM.

05-29-2009, 08:41 PM	#4 (permalink)
NewBlue221 0-99 post 2 of hearts Join Date: May 2009 Location: Feeding Hills, MA Posts: 19	Thank you both of you! I am going to take your advice and enjoy the little things you can do when u don't have kids this summer... minus eatting bad. LOL Good luck to everyone! __________________ Laura O. Married in Vegas 2/14/2006 TTC since 2006 Saw Repro Endo 9/2008 2 cycles clomid/HCG- BFN 2 cycles clomid/HCG/IUI- BFN 1st IVF- 5/2009- BFN Miracle Natural Baby! Due 7/2010

VISIT OUR SISTER SITES:
JustMommies Pregnancy Calendar	eHarmony Advice Dating Advice	Project Wedding Wedding Songs	Weddingbee Wedding Blog

Currently Active Chat Room Users: 0 \| Scheduled Chat Room Events
	Users in Chat Rooms: No one's chatting right now!

05-28-2009, 08:33 PM	#3 (permalink)
erica2107 0-99 post 2 of hearts Join Date: Apr 2009 Location: florida Posts: 16	I received a BFN last month and was completely devastated. I am currently stimming for my new cycle right now. I kind of feel like my life is on hold. There is so much i want to do and i feel like without a child everything is pointless. Going to the grocery store is one of the hardest things for me to do because it always seems like everyone is either pregnant or has a baby is their cart. All i can say is it will get easier getting over this BFN. Its just one more hurdle and i know you've had a lot going through ivf (everyone does). One day it will be our turn. Have faith.