So disappointed

gllanes · 04-21-2009, 05:15 AM

Hello, here´s a little info about me. Dh and I have been married since 1996, we ttc without success for 6.5 years. We did 3 failed ivf cycles, then when I had almost given up I got pregnant naturally. No fertility treatments. Needless to say my now 6 year old son is a little miracle. When my son was born the doctor told me, "now be careful, cause you can probably get pregnant easier", so my dh and I got to work ttc #2 right away. Well 6 years later no baby. We´ve been laying low, no treatments, just the old fashioned way. Sometimes not even tracking ovulation, etc. Then in March 09 we decided to do IVF one more time, well we just got the results back, another BFN. So in total I´ve done 4 IVF´s all failed, and I have 6 yrs before son and 6 yrs after son of infertility, that´s 12 yrs total. I am 35, I´ll turn 36 in June, my dh is 46. We have "unexplained infertility". I hate that label. I wanta know what I have. I think that after 4 failed ivf´s my problem is likely implantation, I don´t know. My question is this, what should I do? Should I quit? Should I go for IVF #5, or should I do IUI, which is less stressful (I think, I´ve never done it), and less expensive, or should we just "try" on our own with ovulation predictor kits and such (maybe not that successful), but that´s how I conceived my son. One of my worries is that I´ll be 36 soon and although on the outside I look very young, and I feel great, I have energy and I feel young cause I am young, on the inside, my eggs are getting older, I might have less hormones, etc. So I might need help, I don´t know. Please give me some advice what would you do if you were in my situation.
Thanks for any advice.

stellz · 04-23-2009, 05:44 PM

Hi gllanes. I think it's all up to you guys and how you feel. I know at the moment you get your BFN news it's hard to think about moving on or being able to stand another IVF cycle, but it's ultimately your choice on what you want to do.

I just got my BFN news yesterday on my first IVF attempt and I am totally destroyed. We will do a second attempt but right now I really don't want to think about any of it. I have had 3 failed IUI's as well. I think if I have a second failed IVF we will stop ART and maybe down the line in a year or so try a third and final attempt.

In your case, I really don't know what to advice since you have unexplained infertility, although IUI is much less invasive. My DH has very low sperm count which is why IUI didn't work for us...I hope the next IVF will.

Lots of luck to you, I know it's painful right now, but I hope it gets better.

HUGS to you.

gllanes · 04-24-2009, 05:04 AM

stellz- thank you, I think we will try another attempt at ivf. Today we are going to go talk to the doctor. So we´ll see what happens. I do wanta try accupuncture first. I´ve heard it helps. Good Luck to you too.

hopeful88 · 05-01-2009, 05:11 PM

gllanes - i understand your frustration totally!!!!! i am unexplained too with mild endometrosis. i have been ttc for over 3 yrs. i have done 9 IUIs and 2 IVF. 1st resulted in ectopic pregnancy. :-( and second IVF resulted in BFN! i know what you mean about this crazy journey!! it's way too emotional! i believe acupunture does help. i have been doing acupunture on and off for 2.5 years.

good luck to you!!!!

Lita · 05-14-2009, 01:04 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by gllanes

Dh and I have been married since 1986, we ttc without success for 6.5 years. We did 3 failed ivf cycles, then when I had almost given up I got pregnant naturally. My question is this, what should I do?

Sometimes woman should really know her fertility periods. There is a possibility that when you tried with your husband - you just didn't get in such period. Check it out by for example this old and good ovulation calendar . It's one of the first and recommended in net - so i hope it will help you. God bless you and don't give up!

gllanes · 05-14-2009, 05:15 AM

Lita- thank you but yes we´ve tried ovulation calendar, and ovulation kits, you name it. LOL.

mjen · 05-15-2009, 07:03 PM

gllanes: I just wanted to say that we all understand your frustration (unfortunately) but only you can know when enough is enough. Have you tried a different dr? I am 35 and will be 36 in June as well. We tried and tried, then moved on to IVF - BFN and went on to do 3 FET;s - all Bfn. Then we adopted DD in 2005 and I got pregnant on the next FET in 2006 and then last summer got pregnant naturally and just had DD Apr 29/09. I too was unexplained fertility which totally sucks becuase I really felt like it was just a catch all term. Clearly there was something wrong because I wasn't getting pregnant but no one had the time to investigate why? It is v frustrating - please try to stay positive and if it happened once it can happen again - just keep trying!

gllanes · 05-15-2009, 07:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mjen

gllanes: I just wanted to say that we all understand your frustration (unfortunately) but only you can know when enough is enough. Have you tried a different dr? I am 35 and will be 36 in June as well. We tried and tried, then moved on to IVF - BFN and went on to do 3 FET;s - all Bfn. Then we adopted DD in 2005 and I got pregnant on the next FET in 2006 and then last summer got pregnant naturally and just had DD Apr 29/09. I too was unexplained fertility which totally sucks becuase I really felt like it was just a catch all term. Clearly there was something wrong because I wasn't getting pregnant but no one had the time to investigate why? It is v frustrating - please try to stay positive and if it happened once it can happen again - just keep trying!

mjen- Thank you for your kind words, they are very reassuring. This whole ordeal is just so emotionally drainning, one minute your full of hopes thinking this might be the month, and then the next minute you feel as if the shook your ground and everything comes tumbling down. But it helps to hear other stories as yours that have good outcomes cause it gives me hope and faith and makes me feel as if it can happen to me again.

Thanks for your words of encouragement.

mjen · 05-16-2009, 09:42 AM

well just don't give up! Infertility SUCKS and unless you go through it you really have no idea how much of a roller coaster it truly is! The hardest part for me was being able to open up to people again - because I really closed myself off from people when we were doing the treatments because literally everone around us had kids or was pregnant. It affects every aspect of your life that's for sure but I am sending you positive thoughts and hoping for some good news soon!!!

gllanes · 05-16-2009, 10:04 AM

mjen- yes I know I can´t give up.

04-21-2009, 05:15 AM	#1 (permalink)
gllanes 100-199 post 3 of hearts Join Date: Apr 2009 Posts: 107	So disappointed Hello, here´s a little info about me. Dh and I have been married since 1996, we ttc without success for 6.5 years. We did 3 failed ivf cycles, then when I had almost given up I got pregnant naturally. No fertility treatments. Needless to say my now 6 year old son is a little miracle. When my son was born the doctor told me, "now be careful, cause you can probably get pregnant easier", so my dh and I got to work ttc #2 right away. Well 6 years later no baby. We´ve been laying low, no treatments, just the old fashioned way. Sometimes not even tracking ovulation, etc. Then in March 09 we decided to do IVF one more time, well we just got the results back, another BFN. So in total I´ve done 4 IVF´s all failed, and I have 6 yrs before son and 6 yrs after son of infertility, that´s 12 yrs total. I am 35, I´ll turn 36 in June, my dh is 46. We have "unexplained infertility". I hate that label. I wanta know what I have. I think that after 4 failed ivf´s my problem is likely implantation, I don´t know. My question is this, what should I do? Should I quit? Should I go for IVF #5, or should I do IUI, which is less stressful (I think, I´ve never done it), and less expensive, or should we just "try" on our own with ovulation predictor kits and such (maybe not that successful), but that´s how I conceived my son. One of my worries is that I´ll be 36 soon and although on the outside I look very young, and I feel great, I have energy and I feel young cause I am young, on the inside, my eggs are getting older, I might have less hormones, etc. So I might need help, I don´t know. Please give me some advice what would you do if you were in my situation. Thanks for any advice. Last edited by gllanes; 05-14-2009 at 05:15 AM.

05-14-2009, 05:15 AM	#6 (permalink)
gllanes 100-199 post 3 of hearts Join Date: Apr 2009 Posts: 107	Lita- thank you but yes we´ve tried ovulation calendar, and ovulation kits, you name it. LOL. __________________ Me 36 DH 46 1996-2002 3 Failed IVF Cycles 2002 Natural Pregnancy 04/2003 DS was born 2003-2009 TTC#2 naturally April 2009 IVF #4 BFN May 2009 undergoing IVF #5

05-16-2009, 10:04 AM	#10 (permalink)
gllanes 100-199 post 3 of hearts Join Date: Apr 2009 Posts: 107	mjen- yes I know I can´t give up. __________________ Me 36 DH 46 1996-2002 3 Failed IVF Cycles 2002 Natural Pregnancy 04/2003 DS was born 2003-2009 TTC#2 naturally April 2009 IVF #4 BFN May 2009 undergoing IVF #5

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04-23-2009, 05:44 PM	#2 (permalink)
stellz 0-99 post 2 of hearts Join Date: Mar 2009 Location: San Diego, CA Posts: 19	Hi gllanes. I think it's all up to you guys and how you feel. I know at the moment you get your BFN news it's hard to think about moving on or being able to stand another IVF cycle, but it's ultimately your choice on what you want to do. I just got my BFN news yesterday on my first IVF attempt and I am totally destroyed. We will do a second attempt but right now I really don't want to think about any of it. I have had 3 failed IUI's as well. I think if I have a second failed IVF we will stop ART and maybe down the line in a year or so try a third and final attempt. In your case, I really don't know what to advice since you have unexplained infertility, although IUI is much less invasive. My DH has very low sperm count which is why IUI didn't work for us...I hope the next IVF will. Lots of luck to you, I know it's painful right now, but I hope it gets better. HUGS to you.

04-24-2009, 05:04 AM	#3 (permalink)
gllanes 100-199 post 3 of hearts Join Date: Apr 2009 Posts: 107	stellz- thank you, I think we will try another attempt at ivf. Today we are going to go talk to the doctor. So we´ll see what happens. I do wanta try accupuncture first. I´ve heard it helps. Good Luck to you too.

05-01-2009, 05:11 PM	#4 (permalink)
hopeful88 100-199 post 3 of hearts Join Date: Jul 2008 Location: Southern California Posts: 136	gllanes - i understand your frustration totally!!!!! i am unexplained too with mild endometrosis. i have been ttc for over 3 yrs. i have done 9 IUIs and 2 IVF. 1st resulted in ectopic pregnancy. :-( and second IVF resulted in BFN! i know what you mean about this crazy journey!! it's way too emotional! i believe acupunture does help. i have been doing acupunture on and off for 2.5 years. good luck to you!!!!

05-15-2009, 07:03 PM	#7 (permalink)
mjen 0-99 post 2 of hearts Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: Canada Posts: 51	gllanes: I just wanted to say that we all understand your frustration (unfortunately) but only you can know when enough is enough. Have you tried a different dr? I am 35 and will be 36 in June as well. We tried and tried, then moved on to IVF - BFN and went on to do 3 FET;s - all Bfn. Then we adopted DD in 2005 and I got pregnant on the next FET in 2006 and then last summer got pregnant naturally and just had DD Apr 29/09. I too was unexplained fertility which totally sucks becuase I really felt like it was just a catch all term. Clearly there was something wrong because I wasn't getting pregnant but no one had the time to investigate why? It is v frustrating - please try to stay positive and if it happened once it can happen again - just keep trying!

05-16-2009, 09:42 AM	#9 (permalink)
mjen 0-99 post 2 of hearts Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: Canada Posts: 51	well just don't give up! Infertility SUCKS and unless you go through it you really have no idea how much of a roller coaster it truly is! The hardest part for me was being able to open up to people again - because I really closed myself off from people when we were doing the treatments because literally everone around us had kids or was pregnant. It affects every aspect of your life that's for sure but I am sending you positive thoughts and hoping for some good news soon!!!