1st IVF cycle failed

babies wanted · 04-09-2009, 12:39 PM

Hello,

I am new here. DH and I have just completed our 1st IVF cycle as of today because we got a negative test result. I am devastated.

A little history. DH and I have been married for 17 years and figured that children were not on the agenda for us. We tried in our first few years of marriage going to a fertility clinic, but we found my tubes were blocked and that we would need IVF. We did not have the money at the time so we decided to wait. We actually had pretty much given up hope.

Fast forward to last year when DH and I decided it was time we try again. We started the clinic in January and I had to have my tubes totally removed because of the damage.

We started our cycle and we got 13 eggs. However it ended up with 2 to implant and 2 frozen. I had my blood test today and it was negative. I am in total shock. I know I shouldn't be, but I am. They thought my chances were very good since everything else looked good, only my tubes blocked. I was a perfect candidate for IVF.

It is so hard to open yourself back up again and then have your hopes crushed. We do have 2 FE and we will talk with the clinic next week about when we can move forward with them. But the emotional damage is heartbreaking.

Just needed to share.

brenda80 · 04-09-2009, 01:01 PM

babies wanted- Hi.. I had my first IVF 5/2008.. No fertility issues besides having a tubal ligation in 2004. I previously had children naturally and thought I was done. Well my husband and I decided to have 1 more. We were considered to be perfect candidates, or so they said... Boy oh boy... I had 15 eggs, transferred 2 5 day blasts and chose not to freeze because of our confidence in this working. Well 2 weeks later, we got a BFN... I cried for months.. No one understood my pain, and no I didn't have a belly and no a baby didn't come out of this but my body was traumatized, my heart broken and $15K later and no baby... I grieved for 3 months to no avail... It's hard but I promise it gets a little easier.. We are currently starting IVF #2.. I'm on BCP and Aspirin.. I go in 4/20 for BW to see when I start injections... If you ever need to just talk send me a message. I'll pray for you...

babies wanted · 04-09-2009, 01:07 PM

Brenda80, Thank you for your kind words. I am sending good vibes your way for your next try. It is emotionally devastating and I do understand your pain. We are lucky because our insurance has paid for everything except the freezing and we are waiting to find out if they are going to reimburse us for the injectible meds. So we can financially do this again even if the FET doesn't work. But just because you can financially does not mean you can emotionally. I think I will just have to wait and see. Hopefully the FET will work. Keep me in your prayers and I will keep you in mine. ~ Shelly

brenda80 · 04-09-2009, 01:19 PM

Shelly- Thank you for the prayers and sticky vibes.. I'm glad you have insurance coverage. We have to pay out of pocket because the military would not cover anything because of my tubal ligation, but I believe it's all worth it. Kepp your head up.. I pray that your pain eases quickly and good luck with the FET. I don't really know how to maneuver around these threads but please keep in touch and I will be honored to pray for you..

brenda80 · 04-09-2009, 01:22 PM

BTW- I totally understand about the emotional pain, I can now proudly admit that I needed to seek help from a therapist because Inever expected to take it so hard. I really withdrew myself from my marriage, my children and my own personal life. Now with #2 and more money I'm so ready... I pray like never before... And stay positive..

armywife8799 · 04-09-2009, 06:07 PM

Brenda 80...and others!

I too was DEVASTATED with my first failed IVF (Oct '08). We had always been told due to my DH count, that we would not likely have children naturally, and were a good candidate for IVF. So, we did. I litterally put all my eggs in one basket, and went into the cycle thinking there is NO WAY I couldn't NOT get pregnant, because everything seemed fine with me. Well, my reality check bounced when i got the BFN call from my RE. My world came crashing down. And I too, needed to seek professional advice. I felt weird and alone about it, but now, am not ashamed anymore. It wasnt my fault it failed, it was just statisitcs. Keep your head up and good luck with your FET. We are doing ours in May.

brenda80 · 04-10-2009, 08:22 AM

Armywife- I had the same issue, because everything seemed so perfect.. I never expected a negative. I just cried myself to sleep after the call.. Never would I have imagined that it would hurt so bad. I was heartbroken. But I'm doing a fresh cycle again. I go in for BW on 4/20 to start my injectables.

sweetbaby · 04-10-2009, 12:27 PM

I just wanted to say that I'm very sorry for your BFN. I know how heartbreaking and devastating it is to have a IVF cycle fail. I, too, was naive and thought that IVF would be a sure thing. Be good to yourself and take time to grieve your loss. ((Hugs))

mistyl · 04-19-2009, 06:48 PM

Hello everyone!
I also want to share my story, this past Wednesday I also had my bfn

Me and my hubby have been married fourtheen years and after seeing we would not get pregnant in 2001 we saw a infertility doctor and long story short we got lucky and after stopping prescribed birth control pills the following month we were pregnant

we have a beautiful daughter now five years, however we have decided to try again and with three fail iui we change doctors and moved on to ivf. Well we are paying for all the prosedure and everything came back great, with a 80% chance of sucess we transfer two beautiful five day blast embryos, our doctor did not want to transfer more neither the embryologist both stating because of my age and everything looking so great and now we are heartbroken! We don't know what went wrong, we followed all the doctors orders. The only thing was I got a cold the day of the transfer I was coughing and snezzing for two days I often wonder if that affected it in any way? (tmi) I already got my period and we are thinking to proceed with fet since we have fourtheen frozen? however to be honest I am scare of another bfn

babies wanted · 04-20-2009, 03:13 AM

Mistyl,
Hello and welcome. We just had our bfn and it is painful. We know that we can't give up and are moving forward with our FET. However, you have to be emotionally ready for it. Good luck with your decision and I am very sorry about your bfn.

04-09-2009, 12:39 PM	#1 (permalink)
babies wanted 200-299 post 4 of hearts Join Date: Apr 2009 Location: Georgia Posts: 294	1st IVF cycle failed Hello, I am new here. DH and I have just completed our 1st IVF cycle as of today because we got a negative test result. I am devastated. A little history. DH and I have been married for 17 years and figured that children were not on the agenda for us. We tried in our first few years of marriage going to a fertility clinic, but we found my tubes were blocked and that we would need IVF. We did not have the money at the time so we decided to wait. We actually had pretty much given up hope. Fast forward to last year when DH and I decided it was time we try again. We started the clinic in January and I had to have my tubes totally removed because of the damage. We started our cycle and we got 13 eggs. However it ended up with 2 to implant and 2 frozen. I had my blood test today and it was negative. I am in total shock. I know I shouldn't be, but I am. They thought my chances were very good since everything else looked good, only my tubes blocked. I was a perfect candidate for IVF. It is so hard to open yourself back up again and then have your hopes crushed. We do have 2 FE and we will talk with the clinic next week about when we can move forward with them. But the emotional damage is heartbreaking. Just needed to share.

04-09-2009, 06:07 PM	#6 (permalink)
armywife8799 0-99 post 2 of hearts Join Date: Mar 2009 Location: NC Posts: 49	me too Brenda 80...and others! I too was DEVASTATED with my first failed IVF (Oct '08). We had always been told due to my DH count, that we would not likely have children naturally, and were a good candidate for IVF. So, we did. I litterally put all my eggs in one basket, and went into the cycle thinking there is NO WAY I couldn't NOT get pregnant, because everything seemed fine with me. Well, my reality check bounced when i got the BFN call from my RE. My world came crashing down. And I too, needed to seek professional advice. I felt weird and alone about it, but now, am not ashamed anymore. It wasnt my fault it failed, it was just statisitcs. Keep your head up and good luck with your FET. We are doing ours in May.

04-19-2009, 06:48 PM	#9 (permalink)
mistyl 0-99 post 2 of hearts Join Date: Apr 2009 Location: CA Posts: 70	Hello everyone! I also want to share my story, this past Wednesday I also had my bfn Me and my hubby have been married fourtheen years and after seeing we would not get pregnant in 2001 we saw a infertility doctor and long story short we got lucky and after stopping prescribed birth control pills the following month we were pregnant we have a beautiful daughter now five years, however we have decided to try again and with three fail iui we change doctors and moved on to ivf. Well we are paying for all the prosedure and everything came back great, with a 80% chance of sucess we transfer two beautiful five day blast embryos, our doctor did not want to transfer more neither the embryologist both stating because of my age and everything looking so great and now we are heartbroken! We don't know what went wrong, we followed all the doctors orders. The only thing was I got a cold the day of the transfer I was coughing and snezzing for two days I often wonder if that affected it in any way? (tmi) I already got my period and we are thinking to proceed with fet since we have fourtheen frozen? however to be honest I am scare of another bfn Last edited by mistyl; 05-01-2009 at 06:17 PM.

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04-09-2009, 01:01 PM	#2 (permalink)
brenda80 200-299 post 4 of hearts Join Date: Mar 2009 Location: Maryland Posts: 260	babies wanted- Hi.. I had my first IVF 5/2008.. No fertility issues besides having a tubal ligation in 2004. I previously had children naturally and thought I was done. Well my husband and I decided to have 1 more. We were considered to be perfect candidates, or so they said... Boy oh boy... I had 15 eggs, transferred 2 5 day blasts and chose not to freeze because of our confidence in this working. Well 2 weeks later, we got a BFN... I cried for months.. No one understood my pain, and no I didn't have a belly and no a baby didn't come out of this but my body was traumatized, my heart broken and $15K later and no baby... I grieved for 3 months to no avail... It's hard but I promise it gets a little easier.. We are currently starting IVF #2.. I'm on BCP and Aspirin.. I go in 4/20 for BW to see when I start injections... If you ever need to just talk send me a message. I'll pray for you...

04-09-2009, 01:07 PM	#3 (permalink)
babies wanted 200-299 post 4 of hearts Join Date: Apr 2009 Location: Georgia Posts: 294	Brenda80, Thank you for your kind words. I am sending good vibes your way for your next try. It is emotionally devastating and I do understand your pain. We are lucky because our insurance has paid for everything except the freezing and we are waiting to find out if they are going to reimburse us for the injectible meds. So we can financially do this again even if the FET doesn't work. But just because you can financially does not mean you can emotionally. I think I will just have to wait and see. Hopefully the FET will work. Keep me in your prayers and I will keep you in mine. ~ Shelly

04-09-2009, 01:19 PM	#4 (permalink)
brenda80 200-299 post 4 of hearts Join Date: Mar 2009 Location: Maryland Posts: 260	Shelly- Thank you for the prayers and sticky vibes.. I'm glad you have insurance coverage. We have to pay out of pocket because the military would not cover anything because of my tubal ligation, but I believe it's all worth it. Kepp your head up.. I pray that your pain eases quickly and good luck with the FET. I don't really know how to maneuver around these threads but please keep in touch and I will be honored to pray for you..

04-09-2009, 01:22 PM	#5 (permalink)
brenda80 200-299 post 4 of hearts Join Date: Mar 2009 Location: Maryland Posts: 260	BTW- I totally understand about the emotional pain, I can now proudly admit that I needed to seek help from a therapist because Inever expected to take it so hard. I really withdrew myself from my marriage, my children and my own personal life. Now with #2 and more money I'm so ready... I pray like never before... And stay positive..

04-10-2009, 08:22 AM	#7 (permalink)
brenda80 200-299 post 4 of hearts Join Date: Mar 2009 Location: Maryland Posts: 260	Armywife- I had the same issue, because everything seemed so perfect.. I never expected a negative. I just cried myself to sleep after the call.. Never would I have imagined that it would hurt so bad. I was heartbroken. But I'm doing a fresh cycle again. I go in for BW on 4/20 to start my injectables.

04-10-2009, 12:27 PM	#8 (permalink)
sweetbaby 0-99 post 2 of hearts Join Date: Apr 2009 Location: Missouri Posts: 13	I just wanted to say that I'm very sorry for your BFN. I know how heartbreaking and devastating it is to have a IVF cycle fail. I, too, was naive and thought that IVF would be a sure thing. Be good to yourself and take time to grieve your loss. ((Hugs))

04-20-2009, 03:13 AM	#10 (permalink)
babies wanted 200-299 post 4 of hearts Join Date: Apr 2009 Location: Georgia Posts: 294	Mistyl, Hello and welcome. We just had our bfn and it is painful. We know that we can't give up and are moving forward with our FET. However, you have to be emotionally ready for it. Good luck with your decision and I am very sorry about your bfn.