First IUI failed

[JLmee]

Hello everyone.

I have been reading lots of these posts and I thought I should post my own. My hubby and I have been trying for two years. We had our first IUI recently and were unsuccessful. I am 32, and worry that time is running short. I have waited this long for someone that I wanted to have kids with, and now that I found him we can't seem to get there.We continue to have our hopes crushed every month. I find myself bitter to my friends and anyone else who has children. And I constantly find myself around people (including relatives) who ask...when are you going to have children? I get so mad I want to punch these people, some of whom are strangers.

I have had an HSG, FSH and a barrage of other tests, and my hubby has been tested, but still no results. The only clinic available to us is an hour away, and they only do IUI's. I am extremely frustrated at this clinic, because they are so rude. I never get any information from them, and no one has discussed (with me) using hormones to help with the success rate of IUI's. I had to do research on the internet to educate myself. If we choose (or are obligated) to go the IVF route, we would have to pack up and move to get those services. My hubby's boss is horrible, and time off is hard to come by. Not to mention that if he actually told her what was going on, she would tell everyone!

Anyway, I'm glad I got on this board because I know there are other people struggling like myself.

JLmee

[jcc]

(note I'll do this in two posts since my message is too long)
Sorry to hear about your struggles but you're right that there are many people here who do understand. I am 30 (dh is 32) and been ttc #1 for 5 years....in fact, I'm not convinced those sticks actually show positive results (obviously they do but I've never seen one). My diagnosis is also unexplained......had the HSG, post coital tests, super regular cycles, tried clomid for months, dh has great counts, 3 IUI's using injectible meds - - all negative. I just met with our RE today about next steps. The one thing I didn't have checked was possible endometriosis by doing a laparoscopy. My RE doesn't think I have this (or at least not a severe case) and didn't think it would really increase our chances much....but this is one thing that many women who are unexplained say to get checked out (but unfortunately a surgery is the only way to tell for sure). Fortunately, I live close to the Cleveland Clinic so I don't have the same distance and facility problems as you. We are now debating our next steps.....possibly a lap but more likely IVF.

[jcc]

(part 2 - sorry so long)
You mentioned having done one IUI. Was this a medicated cycle? Were you on clomid or injectibles? Just wondered if they might do that to help if you weren't taking anything. I don't recall if I've seen you on the IUI board yet but that is a very active board with great people who might have some similar issues - - or at least some advice on how many IUIs to do. This is clearly up to you and your RE but I know mine recommended doing 3 IUIs before re-evaluating alternatives. As for location....sorry I can't help much there. Where are you located now? Are you and dh willing to move for this? If you really think about it and decide to do it, I'd recommend looking into states which have state law about insurance covering IVF....Ohio is not one of them but I know there are some women around FT that have moved to a specific state so they know they'd have coverage. I know it is very tough.....I get the dreaded question all the time about when we're going to have kids....then all those comments that seem so inappropriate. But I have leared that people don't mean to be harmful, they just don't know the situation or can't relate since they've never had this awful struggle. I simply say "we hope to" or "we're trying" and hope the subject is dropped. Hang in there.....there is lots of support here!

[JLmee]

Thank you for your reply. I really appreciate hearing from people in my age group about this. I have not yet had a lap..the thought is scary but I will check into it. I did take clomid, but it only resulted in 1 miscarriage. The RE I consulted with said to stop because it wasn't doing any good, so my IUI was without any meds.

Yes I would move for this...Id stand on my head if I thought it would help. But even if I did, I cannot afford to have many IVF. I know some plans pay...but won't they deny me if its a "pre-existing" condition?

Unfortunately at the closest clinic..I cannot talk to the Dr there, she's horrible. She seems to be annoyed at even having to work, she never follows up...its hard to have a conversation about fertility meds w/IUI. Its hard to gat any help out of her at all. I do plan to talk to my ob more on the subject.

My hubby is older than yours, and were just stuck at what to do next. The only thing we have agreed on, is not to continue seeing this physician because she dosn't care. So we have to find other options. Im not opposed to trying more IUI's, but after the literature I have read I believe I am wasting my time without fertility meds. As for the lap...I will have to see if they even perform the procedure in my town.

Thank you,

JLmee

[speechtammy]

I so feel for you. My husband and I also live in a rural area. My OB in Kentucky actually referred us to a RE in Ohio which was a 3 1/2 hour drive from our home. When I asked him why we couldn't use an RE closer his reply was well you are paying for this and you want the best in the business don't you. Of course my reply was yes so we began IUI with the RE in Ohio and 3 cycles later I'm pregnant. Luckily, I had family that lived about 20 minutes from our RE in Ohio which helped with travel expenses. So, if you have family that lives close to a good RE even if it is an extensive drive it may be worth considering. We are so glad we followed my OB's recommendation even though it was exhausting at times traveling such a long distance, but it all paid off. So, my suggestion is if you are not pleased with the services you are receiving seek another RE because a good RE is the key and a good support staff is essential!

[JLmee]

Hi Tammie

Well alot has changed since my last post. I am still working on the IUI's, but I managed to find a Dr that specializes in infertility close to my home. I also found out that the RE I consulted over the phone said he believed that IUI would work for Dh and I. So now Im playing a waiting game.

I am concerned however, due to recent happenings, that I need to have a test done to make sure my lining is ok to have a baby. As of yet that is a test that I havn't done.

I havn't gone to an RE at this point, and am trying to take the IUI process one day at a time. It seems like its been forever! We may not do IVF if it is reccommended, because we can't drag this out for years. My Dh is in his 40's and has no desire to be a 50 year-old first time father.

Anyway were waiting now, not my favorite thing...but I still have hope that this will work. Thank you for your reply.


JLmee

[babywanted2005]

Hello, there is still hope for you, dont give up. If you have gotten pregnant before you will probably get pregnant again. You are still very young. My friend had done 3 iui and did not get pregnant. She is also 42. Well, not to make a long story short, she believes that they did not have the ovulation cycle precise timing is very important. Well she used ovulation kits and found out that she was ovulationing the 11th day, counting first day of cycle first instead of 14, which they presumed. Look up on search ovulation in the female cycle. I believe you will be pregnant sooner than you think. Also, you might not be ovulating, this will tell you. Alittle clomid, it will be okay. Most people have a first miscarriage, some dont even know it. Sometimes doctors will take you down different paths, I WOULD TRY THIS FIRST. Let us know how it goes. I usually post on frozen embryo transfers. Good luck and I WILL PRAY FOR YA.

[CarolynRose]

Hi everyone. I was looking around the threads and came across this one. I know exacly what all of you are going through, I feel the same way. I am 34 and dh is 36, been ttc for about 4 years. I just had my first iui Jan 19th with 50 mg clomid and trigger shot. Today af arrived, so to say the least I am very disappointed. I thought for sure it would work, since my re couldn't find any reason why me and my dh couldn't conceive. My tests were normal and so were his counts. How many times should I do the iui's before another route? I don't have insurance and can't afford to do many more cycles, it shouldn't be so expensive! Hope you all have success with your treatments, I'm glad there are others who are like me and want to have a baby.

Carolyn

[Siberian]

Hello,

I just would like to tell you all that reading your stories makes me feel less sad and isolated. I've been tryng to get pregnant for a couple of years, and did 4 IUI, three with Clomyd and the last with injectables, all negative. Then we tried IVF, fresh cycle in June '04 and FET in Nov. '04, negative again. It's so depressing and said to see or hear about other women being pregnant or having babies and here we are, getting our hopes very high everytime we try just to have it all crumble before our eyes.

For the ladies that live in Ohio, who did you see? Someone here mentioned the Cleveland Clinic, and I'm curious who you're seeing and what your thoughts are on the RE. I'm thinking about trying again, but this time I want to change RE and would like to see someone at the Cleveland Clinic. Any advise. Thanks.

I don't know, but I guess knowing I'm not the only one going thru this, somehow makes the pain go away for awhile.

[CarolynRose]

Re in Ohio

Siberian,
I am sorry to hear about your difficulties conceiving. I live in Ohio and go to The Reproductive Center in Boardman (Youngstown)
My Re is Dr. Collins and I hear he's one of the best. My sister conceived with her first last year going to the clinic. She is now trying for # 2 and we are going together, so it's nice to have that support. She and her dh had alot more problems than I did (medically speaking, her dh has a low sperm count and she has one tube, due to an ectopic)) It only took her a few months with Clomid to get preg, she's one of the lucky ones. I hope I have the same success after one failed iui with clomid. You can check out their website at ...www.ivfohio.com...hope this helps...I'll keep you in my prayers...

Carolyn