falling apart

[Ruger]

Just found out my paternal (and only) grandmother has a very aggressive cancer that has already progressed through the majority of her body. The oncologist is giving her just weeks to live. He doesn't think she'll make it to Christmas.

My DH is finally being given a chance for promotion-which he really wants and needs-but he would have to change companies. He is currently deployed and due home this Dec. If he makes the move he will redploy this summer for another year. This time instead of a maintenance unit he would be actively flying and doing things like search and rescue. This current deployment has been so difficult and I just don't know if I can do this again so soon. It will also push back any adoption plans for another 1-2 years.

I don't know what to do and feel like I'm drowning. There is not enough Xanax in the world right now!

[BC-MAV]

Oh gosh you have a lot on your plate!! I have only known and had one grandparent. I would just try to make the most of the time your grandmother has left and realize that Drs. can be wrong about how long.

So your DH is due back in December? IF he took this new position which sounds like he would like it, whe would he leave? Would you all have some time together before he was deployed again?

Also why would it push back adoption plans? Is it not allowed to have your DH deployed and be in the process of adopting? Things can take a while with adoption so I would just keep your profile going whether it's with an agency or adoption lawyer.

Take a deep breath. It will be ok. (((HUGS))) Here if you need to talk more.

[BC-tinatinva]

Breathe..

This is an awful lot at one time. When everything comes crashing down on you at once, you need to just take one day at a time..
Like Mav said - Spend what time you can with Grandma - this is time you will cherish forever.

When does DH have to decide? Can it wait a few weeks? Then you both can think it through and make the best decision for your family in the long run.

Wish I could come up to the tundra and give you a big fat hug ..

[BC-MAV]

(((hugs))))

[Ruger]

Thanks ladies! I really do appreciate it.

So you know how bad things happen in 3's? Well today I got into a HUGE wreck! Thank goodness Katy and I are ok (and so are the guys who hit us) but my Yukon may be totalled.

Amazingly enough I was able to keep it all together through the 911 call, troopers, and ambulance--the other truck had both airbags deploy. Katy was scared but unharmed which is a true blessing because the impact was on her side and missed her by about 6 inches and took out the front passenger side door all the way to the front bumper. We were hit by a Sierra pick up truck. The ironic thing is that about a month ago I very nearly traded in my Yukon for a car...must have been a reason I didn't feel right about the final sale and walked away.

So now I'm borrowing my moms car until we can get DH's truck fixed--electrical short so no tail/brake lights. Katy seems fine still and is not complaining about anything but my low back, left hip, and neck are really stiff and sore.

Oh well. I keep telling myself not to get upset or sad about the situation because we are safe and unharmed and that is all that matters. I will deal with the vehicle when I know more. Thank goodness for insurance!

**the really funny part: this is such a small town that the senior trooper who repsonded knew my dad, the tow truck driver not only knew the trooper but knew my dad and had just gone out the night before with my insurance guy! The EMTs knew my DH and used to be in his guard unit. Felt kind of bad for the young guys who hit me at that point...**

[BC-MAV]

I have heard bad things come in threes so that mean that something good is bound to happen next! I am glad you are not seriuosly hurt. I was ran into by a drunk driver and rammed off the highway into a ditch when I was 21. My date was too drunk to drive so he asked his friend to drive which was a very smart thing. We were on our way home from a day time picnic party and this guy in a pick up truck, drunk as a skunk, hit us and turned us around the wrong way on the highway and we ended up in the ditch!!!

I had to wear a cervical neck collar and was very stiff and had neck pain doing every day things but it eventually got better. That was a long time ago but I don't seem to have any problems from it.

Nothing to fell embarassed about. YOu know something I think when things are feeling hectic for me and something bad happens, it just flys over my radar because at that point I feel like things are already bad so one more thing can't make it that much worse. That problaby makes no sense. But for me when younger DS was born via surrogacy in CA and we stupidly came home to our city only to evacuate at that point I was so harried I didn't have time to worry about anything. It was no biggie when we had to evacuate again in a matter of weeks for another hurricane to another city. Then DS had some minor medical problems... the plagicephaly, torticollis, hip dysplasia, salmonellla, yes.. all this within a few months of his birth. And by that point there was so much going on it didnt' even phase me. So maybe with each thing that makes us feel like we are falling apart we get "toughened"? I don't know. (((HUGS)) to you again. I am glad you and Katy are ok!

[Little fluff]

Hugs sweetie and I am so very glad that you are all OK from the accident.

[Ruger]

MAV-broken neck sucks! I was in a car accident when I was 20 where I ended up wearing a collar.

Fluff-thanks!

Got a call from the adjuster and there's a lot to fix but it is fixable which is good. Also got a call from the other guys insurance company. Apparently he's saying the accident is my fault. The troopers didn't cite either of us so now it's his word against mine. Thank goodness his passenger admitted that he (the other driver) was mid turn when he changed his mind. The other driver is 24 and was driving a 2004 Sierra...I have a feeling that they are going to total his truck and he will still owe money so he's trying to collect from me.That ain't happening!!

[BC-MAV]

I didn't have a broken neck.... just very pinched nerves. Yes, it was literally and figutatively a pain in the neck!

[Ruger]

Well my Yukon ended up being a total loss. The good news is the settlement was enough to pay off both of our vehicles so no more car payments for now!! It'll be nice to have no loans and some money down when we buy a new vehicle in Dec. I figure we'll hit the "gotta get rid of th 09" sales.

Back and neck are finally starting to feel better.

Hope everyone else is doing well!