Roll Call/Introduction: Lurkers too!

[mammadreams]

rjc - Thank you for your kind words. I have been thinking about you since I read them, and sending good thoughts your way. This is a hard process.

Adoption was a huge paradigm shift, so we did investigate it thoroughly. I do want to assure you that you IA would not be the only option if you are 42. Domestic does not have an age limit, as many countries do. It also can be about half the cost of IA. We chose DA b/c we wanted an infant, we did not like the fact that so many countries were changing their criteria/rules/or shutting down programs, and DH was 43 when we first started our home study. If we were to wait for say China, with a three to five year wait now, he would have aged out before we got out child. Also, initially, we like dthe idea that we could get the baby any time. IA wait times have become longer, too, while the average wait time for DA is 18-24 months.

Unfortunately, with infertility, I am at the mercy of other people and events to have children no matter what direction I go. I think that is most definitely one of the hardest parts of this. Relying on so much that is outside of my control. It is maddening.

[rjc0704]

mamadreams - you're sweet, thank you! And thanks for the info. If you have any donor cycle questions or want to chat, you can IM me any time.

The adoption process seems so overwhelming to learn. I didn't like IA because they are generally 3-4 yrs old at the youngest and very expensive. An attorney told me forget a DA baby, no one would consider me b/c I'm 42. DH is only 36. My DH is adopted himself and always said he'd like to give what was given to him. We are starting to learn more about the adoption process. It's so hard to even get started, but we will figure it out along the way. Would you recommend an agency or an attorney? We really don't know what direction to even start.

As far as your friend who is 38...without testing they can't really speculate her candicacy. Yes, typically at that age you won't produce as many eggs or may have slower response, but that is dictative of the baseline hormones and antral follicle count. If her FSH is normal (probably is) and her AFC is over 12, she will likely respond well and produce some good quality eggs. It's worth considering the testing for her.

IF is maddening and an emotional roller coaster. DE is most always successful, but when it's not, it feels the same as mourning your own eggs. I pray you will be successful the first time like most people are. If money is a factor donor embryos are also available for adoption. Though generally only a 30% success rate, the cycle is usually only around 3k.

Sending up a prayer for your success..whichever way He wants a child to come to you...I pray it's soon!

Rhonda (42)
DH (36)
TTC#1 - 4 years
3 natural preg - chemical -
1 IVF - cancelled-poor response 11/06
On to Donor Cycles:
DE-IVF #1 - 8/08 Donor cancelled
DE-IVF #2 - 10/08 BFN (1 frostie)
DE-IVF #3 - 02/09 BFN (0 frosties)

[pvedmom]

Hi I am old old but new. I have a son via egg donation -- and he's 8 going on 9 I am living proof this works!

[mamabz]

What exactly did your doctor say about stem cell research in the future? My son is also in your husbands position and with all of my searching for an answer we have heard the same thing.