Donor Coordinator???

[missdixie33]

Hello!

My husband and I just completed 2 round of (failed) IVF and now we're going down the donor road.

I just want to know how everyone is dealing with selecting a donor and what role, if any, a coordinator has in your selection.

I'm asking because our first group allowed us access into their donor database. It gave us pictures and about 5-10 pages of information about each donor. The coordinator with that group gave suggested 6 donors to us in their database, but we found none of them to fit with my coloring or background. In fact, there was a donor in their database that seemed a perfect match. But she had left this donor out of her selection.

Now we're with a different group. This clinic is actually the first to do IVF in the US, so you'd think they were ahead of the game. However, they have a coordinator that picks candidates for you and you get a one-page document describing each donor. There are no pictures, there is no family background/coloring information. She decides who among those available best fits your situation. I find this a bit upsetting. Her choice takes minutes, but our decision lasts us a lifetime. We have no unfettered access into their database. We can only go by what this woman suggests. And once we get a match, we have to ask for pictures (if they're available), family information, and any fertility information (has she donated before and, if so, what was the outcome)? This adds to the time it takes to choose a donor, but it's also a lot of stress. I know my family history much better than this woman. The one sample she pulled- to show us a potential match- was all wrong. And we were told if we reject all the matches made, we go back on the waiting list. Talk about pressure!

What is your experience? What are the other clinics doing? Do you have a coordinator? Or are you picking your own donor?

I'm just curious- I only have experience with 2 clinics, so I'm wondering what is the 'norm'.

Thanks!

[Denise R.]

Hello!

My husband and I just completed 2 round of (failed) IVF and now we're going down the donor road.

I just want to know how everyone is dealing with selecting a donor and what role, if any, a coordinator has in your selection.

I'm asking because our first group allowed us access into their donor database. It gave us pictures and about 5-10 pages of information about each donor. The coordinator with that group gave suggested 6 donors to us in their database, but we found none of them to fit with my coloring or background. In fact, there was a donor in their database that seemed a perfect match. But she had left this donor out of her selection.

Now we're with a different group. This clinic is actually the first to do IVF in the US, so you'd think they were ahead of the game. However, they have a coordinator that picks candidates for you and you get a one-page document describing each donor. There are no pictures, there is no family background/coloring information. She decides who among those available best fits your situation. I find this a bit upsetting. Her choice takes minutes, but our decision lasts us a lifetime. We have no unfettered access into their database. We can only go by what this woman suggests. And once we get a match, we have to ask for pictures (if they're available), family information, and any fertility information (has she donated before and, if so, what was the outcome)? This adds to the time it takes to choose a donor, but it's also a lot of stress. I know my family history much better than this woman. The one sample she pulled- to show us a potential match- was all wrong. And we were told if we reject all the matches made, we go back on the waiting list. Talk about pressure!

What is your experience? What are the other clinics doing? Do you have a coordinator? Or are you picking your own donor?

I'm just curious- I only have experience with 2 clinics, so I'm wondering what is the 'norm'.

Thanks!

Traveling for a egg donation cycle is not difficult so make lots of calls to different clinics some give lots of information adult pictures. Check out CNY thread right now a fresh cycle is $6,000 adult pictures tons of donors YoU pick the one YOU want..

[DeeNYC]

Nope. Doesn't sound like the norm to me although I have heard of clinics doing this. There are ladies that travel outside the country to clinics such as in CZ that have no choice in the donor selection process really. It works for some. I would want more choice and ability to make my selection. At my clinic we pick our own donor and get pics. We also get a genetic report and profile of the donor. To be honest, unless this place has tremendous stats, I would not want to deal with them. I do know that some top clinics operate like this but I would not like it. I have been assigned a donor coordinator at my clinic but her role is to assist us and answer whatever questions we have about the donors.

[heatherfla]

missdixie33--

from what i have gathered over the past few months, there are many different routes to selecting a donor and cycling with a donor (agency vs. in house, anonymous your choice vs. anonymous donor choice vs. known donor, etc.). we picked a chicago clinic based on its excellent SART outcome statistics and we found it very attractive that we had full (secure) access to their in-house donor list (anonymous but you are shown several photos child-adult, IQ scores, psych profile, medical profile) from the time we indicated our desire to work with the clinic. we quickly picked a donor from their list of 40-60 donors. the donor coordinator at our clinic, who is great, has the job of helping us work through the logistics of the cycle, nothing more (at least as far as i know).

good luck figuring all of this out!

[heatherfla]

missdixie--i also find it very strange that past cycle stats are not provided to you ASAP. my clinic has the #1 ranking for DE this year and they are very open about this element. this was a big factor for us as we have been through a lot already (as have most people at this stage of things, right?) and we wanted to choose a donor not only based on characteristics like IQ, educational attainment and looks but also that she had worked with at least one other couple who had achieved a healthy (ie, week 12 and beyond genetically healthy) pregnancy.

Good luck!

[KimAtFertilityAuthority]

Hi missdixie,

I just sent you a PM. So sorry you are feeling frustrated. I definitely feel you should have some input in this process!


Kim

[eknanc]

missdixie
at my clinic you get an access code for the donor database so you can look at profiles/pictures/history. The coordinator answers questions in case you have any but she doesn't tell you who to pick. That decision is solely up to you. I don't think I would want my clinic to choose the donor for me at all. Ultimately YOU need to pick who you are comfortable with.

[missdixie33]

I finally just read the replies to my thread. Crap. You folks should know we're dealing with the Jones Institute in Virginia. They are one of the top clinics in the world- they are the first team in the US to do IVF. I knew something wasn't right. You'd think they would be the best at this, but reading other peoples' experiences, I'm learning they are way behind (oh, and I'm not crazy). Thank you so much! And best of luck to everyone!

[heatherfla]

Yes, those stats for Jones Inst. are pretty dismal. And actually CCRM is *not* tops for donor egg. It's my clinic for 2010 -- Advanced Fertility Center of Chicago: 81.3% live birth rate for 2010. Their clinical pregnancy rate (preg seen on u/s) for 2012 is a staggering 90.3% for Jan-June!

[HongKongLady]

Heatherfla - would you mind pinging me to let me know what clinic you are dealing with? Sounds like what I am looking for. Cheers,