Summer 2011 Cycle Group, Anyone?

[kore561]

Anyone wanna join me in a Summer 2011 DE Cycle Group?

My DH and I are just about to start our first DE cycle. We've been through 4 IVF of our own and are now ready to move on. We are matched with a donor and she is going through her psych consult tomorrow and we're now waiting for the legal agreement. I will start BCPs in about a week when I get my AF (of course still hoping for a natural miracle...LOL!).

My donor is unproven in an IVF cycle sense, but she's young (26) and has a great antral follicle count and has a daughter herself, so her eggs do work. I'm a little nervous about not knowing how she will do in an IVF cycle, and her AMH came back at the low range of normal, but I really felt a familiarity in her that made me want her to be the one to replace my genetics. Make sense? I'm curious how others have chosen their donors? Were you completely playing the odds? Or have others used donors who haven't been through a cycle.

Looking forward to meeting more of you :-)

[tridreamin]

Kore,
I'm there with ya sista. We are matched with our donor too. I need to confirm a legal agreement between anonymous donor and us for the parental rights issue, but everything else is a go for us. We've already of signed agreements with the agency and stuff but I want to make sure there is an agreement that specifically speaks to giving up of parental rights by the donor. We've all have gone through our blood works and psych evals. I'm on my third week of bcp.

My donor is 25 and this will be her first donation too. I chose her because I felt a "connection" with her, based on her writing. Then her health and family's health history. The bonus is she has my ethnicity and she has some physical similarities.

I will start my Lupron end of June - anticipating retrieve mid July. How about you guys?

[kore561]

tri - yeah! i'm glad to have a buddy. sounds like we're in a very similar place, although i just started BCPs today. we just got our legal agreement from my clinic (we chose our donor from there as well, so it's easy to do all the legal stuff in one fell swoop). our donor's psych eval was last week and all our bloodwork is in. now just her labs and we should get our calendar from the RE on when we expect things to happen. i'm glad you are in a similar situation with your donor as me. sounds exactly the same!

i should start lupron in about 2 weeks, so just around the same time!... also, i'm assuming from your name that you do triathlons? if so, i do too! i miss them, but have given up a lot on them over the last 4 years to get pregnant.... hopefully in a few years i'll get back into them. i'm still at smaller distances, no ironman, but maybe someday :-)

glad to meet you!

anyone else out there?

[francis]

I think I'm in. Have an anonymous donor, supposed to tell clinic tomorrow and filled with anxiety. I have a 5 yr old dd conceived via IVF already. Will this upset the equilibrium? Am I doing the right thing? Will I tell or not tell? I am 43...can't really wait. Can I really do this? I don't look down upon it at all, I am just afraid. Any advice? Thank you for your support...

[tridreamin]

Kore, Yes -- I DID triathlons --- only the sprint distance. I only did 3 before stopping. I stopped due to scheduling constraints between getting married (only 2yrs+) and going through this fertility fun. hehehehe. While I know I really didn't have to give it up, juggling the appointment schedules, work schedules and training schedules was more than I could handle. I am still dreaming of getting back to it!

As for the calendar - sounds like you are about 2 weeks behind me. I just got news that the final test (fragile x) came back clean for the donor! They just ordered her meds. whoa..... it's REALLY happening.

I'm 45 and my DH will be 48 later this year. So we didn't have a lot of time to go through a lot of tries of IVF with my own eggs. We did 3 cycles of shots + TI, then 1 IVF with my own eggs. While I produced 11 eggs and 8 fertilized, we only transferred one. Due to my age, we decided to do PGD on the embryos. 7 out of the 8 had multiple chromosonal issues, one of the seven didn't even have enough sex chromosonal pair. It's just reality hitting ya in the face. It brings the "statistics" of AMA and pregnancy success rates really into light.

But now - hopeful as we move towards DE IVF#1.

Francis - welcome! First of all, fears are TOTALLY normal. There are many women here who've gone through or are going through this process and we're all here to support each other. You're not alone.

My first advice --- take slow deep breaths. You're going to be fine. While this journey does bring anxiety, the big payoff is so worth the effort (so I'm banking on). You've gone through IVF before so you already know a lot of process.

I have no children yet (just lots of nieces/nephews/cousins) so my comments are basically hand-me-downs from others, but here goes.... bringing in another child into the home (regardless of the method of the addition) will change the equilibrium. It doesn't have to be an "upset" but it definitely will be a change. So, do your best to prepare yourself for the change. As for preparing your dd for the change, like any other parent .... I suppose you would wait until you are some what far along in your pregnancy before you take on that task. Children like to be the center of attention, but they also relish being the big brother or big sister. I am sure your dd will take to being a big sister like duck to water when the time comes.

[Brendulichka]

Hi, this is our first anything with IVF, and from the start, with a donor. Matched through our clinic, and shared. She's an unproven donor, but has a child already. Here is hoping for happy donor and her eggs. We have no experience in any of this. I feel like such a neophyte compared to everyone here! I'm 42, my husband is 44. A late marriage but big hopes for a family. Thanks for sharing this time with me.

I start meds on 26 June with anticipated donor retrieval on 16 July.

I wish only good things for all here, and all successes.

[Zephyr]

Hi, I'm hoping it's ok for me to join in, too. I just started Lupron for my second fresh DE cycle, so I think I'm a bit ahead of you ladies on the calendar? My first DE cycle was in 2008 and happily resulted in my 2.75-yo DS. Our donor for that cycle was a first-time donor, and we chose her because it just seemed right; we "clicked" with her profile. No regrets at all! FWIW, my doc said there's no statistical difference in the success rates between first-time donors and repeat donors. We had one frozen from that cycle, and did an FET 3 months ago, but it ended in a chemical pg. Different donor this time, she's cycled before, but we chose her for the same reason--it just felt right! It's a lot less weird/stressful to do DE the second time around; we didn't spend nearly as much time with the donor profiles this time. Happy to give my history, too, about how we arrived at DE, etc. but don't want to bore anybody. We're anticipating retrieval around June 29. May I join in?

It's nice to meet you all!

[Zephyr]

I realized I wanted to add something: if any of you want this thread to be a child-free zone, just let me know. I have NOT forgotten how it feels to be "before"--those years were some of the worst in my life, and I am definitely in a better place this time around. I don't want to cause anyone any pain. I'm just looking for some support, like everyone else, because you know what? Doing DE IVF is hard!!! But if that is going to hurt any of you, I'm outta here. Just say the word.

[kore561]

francis - i totally understand the anxiety. for about 6 months i felt the same way, but something in my finally changed and i felt like i turned the corner and i'm really excited about our opportunities. i'm sure that if this works for you, you will feel that your equilibrium you now have will be even better.. you CAN really do this if this is something you want to complete your family. i'm afraid too, but i'm sick of living dictated by fear. just go for it :-)

tri - we'll dream together of triathlons and hope to do that in a few years after we birth our babies. sound good? i'm glad you got a chance to do PGD. we didn't, so i still have a little lingering "what if" but i'm really ready to move on. we've done 4 IVF of our own, as i said, so i'm sick of toying with something that doesn't seem to be working. hopeful for both you an dme.

brend - looks like you, me and tri are in a similar situation. unproven donors in the IVF sense, but my donor has an child too. we'll help you through! best wishes. glad you can join us.

zephyr - hello! congrats on the DS from your first DE IVF. i'm glad to hear you chose your donor in a similar manner to how I chose mine. i'm so glad to hear your RE's advice on stats on first time donors and proven ones. sorry about the chemicals. they suck. i've had 2 confirmed and 1 suspected w/ my own eggs. yes, please join in! oh and i'm fine w/ you talking about your DS. no worries :-) please stay!!!

afm - as for me, we are meeting with our lawyer next wednesday to go over the donor egg agreement. hope it all makes sense adn we are ok w/ everything and we can get this party started.

[Brendulichka]

Zephyr - please stay. Your insight and experience are worth so much, and you too are on the same journey with DE, so lets stick together!

tri - I'm cheering for you!

kore - our legal agreement was long but readable. We are going anonymous and something about her pic and her face 'clicked.' We are very positive!

Rest, I hope we get to know each other well.

Today, I paid for 'our' rounds of meds. The donor's share was $2095. Our share was $583, with a happy surprise that only our injectibles were not covered. (We have no IVF coverage whatsover with our verson of Cigna.) They arrive on Tuesday, then we have a hiking week in Belize (simply could not cancel...well we could have, but the clinic, the donor and the other couple were fine to wait another week. Crikey, we sent in our shared donor form only at the end of May!) I start meds on June 26.

Is anyone interested in our calendar or is that TMI that isn't allowed here?

I got my period yesterday, after 5 weeks of BCP. RN at office said that is totally normal and its good that my body is trying to be normal. Let pray for no more periods for many months to come.