Anyone talk about DE with their church or synagogue?

altamags · 10-05-2009, 01:46 PM

I'm just curious to know what different denominations or faiths have to say about it. I'm Christian so I'm especially interested in that perspective. I don't intend to make my decision based on the Christian viewpoint, but I would like to know what I'm going to be up against with the opinions of Christian friends and family members. We were going to talk about it with my pastor but decided that until we made the tell/don't tell decision, we should probably not discuss it in the church.

Thanks

Maggie

rjc0704 · 10-06-2009, 06:23 AM

Maggie - Congrats on your decision. I am Baptist and initially had the same struggles with faith, both mine and and how people would feel about it, especially my mother. I think that it can be a divided opinion, even amoungst the same groups. I know that my pastor would be supportive in our decision. I know he would say that God gave us skilled doctors and the technology to do it, but that ultimately, it's still in God's hands because only He can create a life, despite of the means He as given us.

We made the decision not to tell anyone before the child knows. Then it's up to them if to tell, who to tell and when. I feel a bit decieptful, but I know in the end, everyone will understand we did it to protect to the child. My DH is adopted and found it out through someone else before his parents told him. So we will not take the risk of that happening to our child by relying on others not to tell.

IF you feel the need to share it with your pastor and think it might help in your ethical decision, then I think you should do so if you are both comfortable with that. For us, we know the Lord put the desire in our hearts to be parents. I feel sometimes that it's a punishment, but other times, I feel there is a reason for it I will someday know. It was a struggle for awhile because our faith also believes in putting it in God's hands. We still feel we are doing that, simply because we KNOW that only HE can create a life. So that's why we are going for it, without seeking the blessing from others. We feel HE has blessed us with the opportunity to even get to try. As you know, many can't even afford to try.

altamags · 10-06-2009, 06:45 AM

Thanks Rhonda. I'm actually fine with my decision and don't have any personal qualms. We are more at the stage of deciding how private to be about it and I want to take into consideration the reactions that other people might have.

Based on the very little bit of research I've done so far, it's pretty discouraging. Every published opinion I've read except for one has been very negative to the point of ridiculousness - even comparing it to adultery. Just proving once again how full of judgment people are about things they know nothing about.

Anyway! I'm very happy that you are at peace with your decision.

Best regards,
Maggie

10-05-2009, 01:46 PM	#1 (permalink)
altamags 0-99 post 2 of hearts Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: Florida Posts: 38	Anyone talk about DE with their church or synagogue? I'm just curious to know what different denominations or faiths have to say about it. I'm Christian so I'm especially interested in that perspective. I don't intend to make my decision based on the Christian viewpoint, but I would like to know what I'm going to be up against with the opinions of Christian friends and family members. We were going to talk about it with my pastor but decided that until we made the tell/don't tell decision, we should probably not discuss it in the church. Thanks Maggie

10-06-2009, 06:23 AM	#2 (permalink)
rjc0704 1000-4999 post queen of hearts Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: Madison, CT Posts: 1,036	Maggie - Congrats on your decision. I am Baptist and initially had the same struggles with faith, both mine and and how people would feel about it, especially my mother. I think that it can be a divided opinion, even amoungst the same groups. I know that my pastor would be supportive in our decision. I know he would say that God gave us skilled doctors and the technology to do it, but that ultimately, it's still in God's hands because only He can create a life, despite of the means He as given us. We made the decision not to tell anyone before the child knows. Then it's up to them if to tell, who to tell and when. I feel a bit decieptful, but I know in the end, everyone will understand we did it to protect to the child. My DH is adopted and found it out through someone else before his parents told him. So we will not take the risk of that happening to our child by relying on others not to tell. IF you feel the need to share it with your pastor and think it might help in your ethical decision, then I think you should do so if you are both comfortable with that. For us, we know the Lord put the desire in our hearts to be parents. I feel sometimes that it's a punishment, but other times, I feel there is a reason for it I will someday know. It was a struggle for awhile because our faith also believes in putting it in God's hands. We still feel we are doing that, simply because we KNOW that only HE can create a life. So that's why we are going for it, without seeking the blessing from others. We feel HE has blessed us with the opportunity to even get to try. As you know, many can't even afford to try. __________________ Rhonda & DH ttc#1: 5 long years 3 natural preg - all m/c before 8wks 1 IVF - cancelled-poor response 11/06 On to Donor Cycles: 3 DE-IVF - BFN BFN BFN Immunity Issues, IR, hydrosalpinx tube 4 totcyles FET #1 Cycle now IN PROGRESS ET est. Dec 7th Last edited by rjc0704; 10-06-2009 at 06:29 AM.

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10-06-2009, 06:45 AM	#3 (permalink)
altamags 0-99 post 2 of hearts Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: Florida Posts: 38	Thanks Rhonda. I'm actually fine with my decision and don't have any personal qualms. We are more at the stage of deciding how private to be about it and I want to take into consideration the reactions that other people might have. Based on the very little bit of research I've done so far, it's pretty discouraging. Every published opinion I've read except for one has been very negative to the point of ridiculousness - even comparing it to adultery. Just proving once again how full of judgment people are about things they know nothing about. Anyway! I'm very happy that you are at peace with your decision. Best regards, Maggie