Considering Donor Eggs ... have plenty questions ...

[StayinPositive]

Hi all, my DH and I have been actively ttc#1 for over 2 years now and everything that is happening to us seems to be like a slap in our face. With 3 failed pregnancies and recent failed IVF, I feel like we are beyond our control. But I know and believe God will bless us with a healthy child eventually, maybe we just have try alternative means. I am deeply devastated and although my DH was 100% against it, now seeing that the odds are not in our favor, he is opening up to the possibility of donor eggs. We had asked my cousin to be our donor and she agrees to help us out, God bless her Because I am totally new to this, I have a few questions and am anxious to find out the process (and cannot wait for my appt with RE) ...

My ED is currently on birth control pills ... how long after she stops taking them can she start stimming?
Once the eggs are retrieved, fertilized and deemed viable embryos, are they immediately implanted in me? Or is there a wait period?
I am also aware there is a psychological evaluation she must pass, being she is a family member, can she not go through with this? I can sign waiver forms if needed.
How much approximately does this add on top of a cycle? I assume it would be tad bit lower than if you were use an anonymous donor???

Thanks and I appreciate all the info!!!

[CrystalAZ]

My ED is currently on birth control pills ... how long after she stops taking them can she start stimming?

Your RE will probably start you on them too and you will both stop at the same time. I think we were on them together for 3 weeks or so.

Once the eggs are retrieved, fertilized and deemed viable embryos, are they immediately implanted in me? Or is there a wait period?

Your RE will transfer them according to your odds and needs. In our situation, he transferred three 3-days after fertilization and we had 9 more to freeze. Or they may do it 5 days after if you have good and plentiful embies.

I am also aware there is a psychological evaluation she must pass, being she is a family member, can she not go through with this? I can sign waiver forms if needed.

I think it is a good idea that you have her do it. This is a big deal and you don't want any child you conceive to EVER be someone else's regret. She needs to understand all the possible emotional consequences of her decision so she can make the most informed decision possible. As far as whether you can waive it - that's a question for your RE.

How much approximately does this add on top of a cycle? I assume it would be tad bit lower than if you were use an anonymous donor???

We used anonymous, but it shouldn't add that much more. She will be taking stims instead of you. She will have the retrieval instead of you. There's only a few things you have to do that you wouldn't in a regular IVF cycle. You'll have to pay for Lupron/repression X 2, ultrasounds X2, exams X 2, birth control pillsX2. You may have to pay for her to have some tests that you may have already had, as far as checking ovaries/FSH, genetic issues, etc.

I am glad you are going forward with this and that is wonderful that your cousin is willing to do this for you. You won't regret it. Once the retrieval is over, it all turns "normal" - well, normal in a messed-up, dealing with infertility, IVF cycle way.

Crystal

[rjc0704]

I agree with all your reponses. And the psych eval likely won't prevent them from cycling your family member. It is more intense for anonymous donors trying to get in the pool. I'm not even sure it's mandatory for her, but I would also recommend it. You will likely both feel even better about the decision after a session!
I have found that a donor cycle with a donor through a clinic or agency can be nearly double or more of the cost of reg cycle because you are paying for her donor fees, baseline examinations and blood work, all her meds and numerous blood work and u/s during cycle and ER. The cost isn't much lower using family/friends. Just less the donor fees which can run 5k up to as much as 8K or more.

Good Luck. Hope it all works out for you!

[StayinPositive]

Rhonda & Crystal - thanks for your info ... its such big decision ... its either IVF/PGD (but my odds are so much lower with this option) or donor eggs (odds are better) ... again thanks girls for your thoughts and info!!! Really appreciate it!