Questions/Concerns about Donating from a potential donor...

[1stSamuelOne<3]

Hi everyone! I have so many thoughts running through my head...where to start?! A few weeks ago at our RE appointment we were discussing where to go next. IUI w/ meds? IVF? IUI vs IVF. As we were talking about it our RE asked if he'd told us about the donor program. He explained that I was a prime candidate due to age, 25, and diagnosis and explained how financially it would cut our costs in half for the proceedure. As we talked I felt this rush of emotions: Relief for the financial cost, excitement to help a couple in our same situation, fear of the unknown. Those feeling havent stopped. On one hand I feel like this is a win win situation! We dont have infertility insurance and will have to pay for everything out of pocket, so to have our cost cut in half makes IVF possible for us. Otherwise, I'm not sure we could afford it. And, the thought of impacting and helping another couple just fills me with joy! But, I do have fear. How will I feel knowing I have "genetic children" somewhere that I dont know? Would they one day want to meet me? How would I feel about that? would I always wonder if they were ok? What if they look like me? They would be as much genetically mine as my children with my DH... How is that going to make me feel? On the other hand... How could I pass up the opportunity to help someone else when I know exactly what they're feeling?! How could this be a bad thing? God uses us all in different ways and its not always easy. What if this is His way of using me to help someone I dont know in a HUGE way and I pass it up because of fear? How will I feel then?!

If anybody could shed some light on this I would so appreciate it. I would love to hear experiences from both sides...I need encouragement.

Sorry to be so long winded!!

~Kelly

[CrystalAZ]

Originally Posted by 1stSamuelOne<3

What if this is His way of using me to help someone I dont know in a HUGE way and I pass it up because of fear?

~Kelly

Go for it. There is no negative here.

I absolutely 100% believe that everything happened as it was supposed to in order for my son to come to me.

The donor who gave us that first cell is a wonderful person. She will never be forgotten. But *I* am his mom. She needn't worry if he is ok, because he is where he is meant to be. Any woman who comes in open to donor eggs is not going to be flippant about being a mother.

And yeh, a resulting child may look like you. Or they may look like the recipient's DH. Or likely a mix.

As far as them looking for you one day... maybe. It is up to you if you are open to that or not. But the parents may not even tell the child they are from donor eggs. I know many who don't.

I encourage you to do this. It is a beautiful gift you would give someone else, and as you said, it helps you financially as well.

Crystal

[1stSamuelOne<3]

Thank you for the encouragement! I really feel like in my heart I know what I'll do and that will be to be a donor...the good just outweighs the fear like 100 fold! Up until a few weeks ago this had never entered into my thoughts, so I'm just trying to sort through all the possible feelings. Thank you for your experience and view!

[CrystalAZ]

Originally Posted by 1stSamuelOne<3

Thank you for the encouragement! I really feel like in my heart I know what I'll do and that will be to be a donor...the good just outweighs the fear like 100 fold! Up until a few weeks ago this had never entered into my thoughts, so I'm just trying to sort through all the possible feelings. Thank you for your experience and view!

I don't think you'll regret the decision at all. It's a wonderful thing, and the fear will subside.

I hope the cycle is a success for you - and for the recipient.

Crystal

[Donor 1502]

I'm a donor, too. My donations were very positive experiences and I feel no connection whatsoever to any children who have resulted from my donations. In your place I would definitely explore the possibilty of donating to another couple. Good luck!