How did you ask your DH about using donor sperm?

lilpink003 · 08-20-2009, 09:48 AM

I am trying to see how everyone else asked their DH's about donor sperm. My dh has no sperm and I don't know how to bring it up.

teachermama · 08-20-2009, 11:20 AM

My husband and I had decided to pursue adoption rather than DS, thinking a child not biologically related to either of us would be better for us. We went through the entire process of homestudy, adoption agencies, pre-adoption training classes, etc., and matched three times. After the third failed adoption, I was just done, period. My husband actually approached me and asked me to try DS for three cycles before giving up.

We conceived on cycle #1, and have been kicking ourselves ever since that we didn't decide to do it earlier! Now we are ttc #2 and on the 2ww.

If you are trying to approach the topic with your husband, you could always say, "The doctor suggested we consider DS. What do you think of that?" without a commited response one way or the other. Just a thought and best wishes!

Elann · 08-30-2009, 06:39 PM

It wasn't even a question for us. My DH also had no sperm and we wanted a child. Because of various medical issues we have (make it difficult but not impossible to adopt) and the fact that I wanted to experience pregnancy - we decided to try donor. We decided to try it 6 times - then move on to adoption. I got pg with our DD on the 5th try.

I would just ask him what he thinks - and be as non-judgemental as possible. He has to grive the loss of not having his "own" child. (For lack of better words.)

My Dh and several other DI Dads were in an article in USA Today about it. If you want the link - I can give it to you and you can show it to him and asks him what he thinks.

08-20-2009, 09:48 AM	#1 (permalink)
lilpink003 5000-9999 post king of hearts Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: Texas Posts: 5,298 Blog Entries: 11	How did you ask your DH about using donor sperm? I am trying to see how everyone else asked their DH's about donor sperm. My dh has no sperm and I don't know how to bring it up.

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08-20-2009, 11:20 AM	#2 (permalink)
teachermama 0-99 post 2 of hearts Join Date: Aug 2009 Location: Illinois Posts: 6	My husband and I had decided to pursue adoption rather than DS, thinking a child not biologically related to either of us would be better for us. We went through the entire process of homestudy, adoption agencies, pre-adoption training classes, etc., and matched three times. After the third failed adoption, I was just done, period. My husband actually approached me and asked me to try DS for three cycles before giving up. We conceived on cycle #1, and have been kicking ourselves ever since that we didn't decide to do it earlier! Now we are ttc #2 and on the 2ww. If you are trying to approach the topic with your husband, you could always say, "The doctor suggested we consider DS. What do you think of that?" without a commited response one way or the other. Just a thought and best wishes!

08-30-2009, 06:39 PM	#3 (permalink)
Elann 400-499 post 6 of hearts Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: Maryland Posts: 411	It wasn't even a question for us. My DH also had no sperm and we wanted a child. Because of various medical issues we have (make it difficult but not impossible to adopt) and the fact that I wanted to experience pregnancy - we decided to try donor. We decided to try it 6 times - then move on to adoption. I got pg with our DD on the 5th try. I would just ask him what he thinks - and be as non-judgemental as possible. He has to grive the loss of not having his "own" child. (For lack of better words.) My Dh and several other DI Dads were in an article in USA Today about it. If you want the link - I can give it to you and you can show it to him and asks him what he thinks.