Asian Intended Parents - Please Share Your Experience

moonchild508 · 08-08-2009, 08:48 AM

Hi. I am starting this thread to see if there are other Asian IPs on this website who would like to share their donor egg experience. Donors are welcome too!

My husband and I are in the process of searching for a suitable donor. Being Chinese myself, I prefer a Chinese donor who is at least 5'4", attractive and has a college education; preferably a proven donor who is local and requests a reasonable fee. I'm open to other Asians too if they meet our criteria. So far that has been a challenge to find. We have checked out tons of donor agencies that post profiles online, but still haven't been able to make our decision after a few months of searching. Donors are being matched so fast that we just can't keep up with the flow (we are slow decision makers...). Now we are considering loosening up our criteria. I was chatting with another Chinese IP on this website and we were wondering if there are others out there with a similar situation? If you have gone through a DE cycle, please share your experience too. Thanks!!

dodo928 · 08-08-2009, 11:13 PM

Moon: thanks for starting this new thread!

Hi every Asian Intended Parents, I'm 43 now. My RE told me in April that my only chance is DE transfer. After a thorough discussion between my DH and myself, we started to move on. We started to search tons of agencies in order to find what we believe the 'BEST' chinese donor for us. I also can't keep up with the flow. I don't know if it's because we are in Southern California or other areas have the same problem. Initially, my DH was very selective and wanted the donor to have double eyelids and height between 5'5" and 5'7" and face not too wide, and most important of all, all-Chinese. After stressful search, we decided to narrow our criteria. We now just want somebody between 5' and 5'7" and all-Chinese and proven with high AFC will be enough.

moonchild508 · 08-09-2009, 08:47 AM

Dodo - I have a question about the mock cycle - if you have menopause, would you still get AF while on BCP? I've also heard that you can do DE even if you have menopause. I am just not sure how that works in terms of syncing with the donor.

I didn't know about the donors serving as the case mgrs at AED. That's a strange way of operating an agency. I don't know if I would trust them. However, there was a DE cycle recently completed at my doctor's office where the donor was from AED, and the nurse said everything went smoothly.

ymee · 08-09-2009, 01:19 PM

Hi!

Both my DH and I are Asians as well. I am with you in being a slow decision maker... We looked for a long time and when we found one she was in a cycle and wasn't interested in cycling again after that because she has school plans. I was disapointed, but we waited, and waited, and looked, and looked. I also contacted AED and the case mgr I talked to was vere nice and professional. After months, the original ED we found agreed to cycle for us! I really think you have to take your time... the whole process seems VERY "far out" when you think about it. As I am in TX, it is even harder to find Asian ED here. I didn't want to add the expens of travelling. There are a couple of agencies here. You can PM me if you would like their names.

Good Luck!

dodo928 · 08-10-2009, 12:48 AM

Moon: I don't know how it would work. I think if I have menopause, AF will not come after BCPs. That's why I'm desperate to know after I'm done with the BCPs. I don't care whether AF will come or menopause will come. I only care to know the answer. I know both will work. The only thing won't work for the donor egg transfer is if the hormones are inconsistent during the mock cycle. I believe AED can do a good job. Since they are using egg donors as case manager, they can be very nice if they are not in drugs. My case manager was very nice to me in the beginning. I found out from their blog that she's a donor too. Her tone changed to very emotional recently when I inquire about a donor. Since I know she's a donor, I guess she might be in cycle at that moment because she never sounded like that before.

dodo928 · 08-10-2009, 01:03 AM

Ymee: Good to see you here! I heard what you said. I can understand it's harder to find donor in TX but it maybe less Chinese IPs there as well? In CA, there are many new immigrants who are of good qualities but not comfortable to be a ED. At the same time, Chinese IPs are increasing. Glad to know your donor is doing well!

moonchild508 · 08-10-2009, 06:37 PM

Dodo - Is a mock cycle required by your RE? I'm not familiar with what goes on during the mock cycle. Two REs that I talked to said they don't normally require mock cycles because they don't think they are not necessary, but my RE does it for all DE recipients. I'd like to do a mock cycle if my insurance pays for it, just to be safe, you know?

Ymee - Thanks for sharing your experience. We were interested in one donor a few months ago, but decided to wait because she was a first time donor. I contacted the agency the other day, and they told me she just finished a cycle, is matched for another one, and probably won't donate again after that. So frustrating. Are you in your DE cycle now or did you already finish one?

dodo928 · 08-10-2009, 11:25 PM

Moon: A mock cycle is basically a donor egg transfer cycle but without doing any transfer. They want to see what drugs and how much doses you need to take to stim your lining to the optimal thickness. It's better to do a mock cycle even if insurance is not covered. We'll only benefit from it because in the transfer cycle, the clinic know for sure what doses or drugs you need and we'll have one less thing to worry.

ymee · 08-11-2009, 09:21 PM

dodo: Yes, I really think the number of IP's is increasing at a faster rate than donors. Since Asian ED are recently increasing, it is very hard to find a proven one.

Moon: We are going through a cycle right now. ER is scheduled for this Fri! I know how frustrating it can be... but be patient. It will pay off at the end...

dodo928 · 08-11-2009, 11:09 PM

ymee: I'll be 44 at the end of the year and I don't have any children. I tried not to be impatient but my biological clock is clicking. I don't want to go to the step of surrogacy. I am desperate to experience pregnancy on my own. I know a Chinese IP in my area found her donor in a year and is pregnant now. She told me to be patient. She is in her 30's. I think anybody who is younger than me can be patient. I cannot convince myself to be patient but I guess this is the only choice since it's beyond my control.

08-08-2009, 08:48 AM	#1 (permalink)
moonchild508 100-199 post 3 of hearts Join Date: Mar 2009 Location: CA Posts: 121	Asian Intended Parents - Please Share Your Experience Hi. I am starting this thread to see if there are other Asian IPs on this website who would like to share their donor egg experience. Donors are welcome too! My husband and I are in the process of searching for a suitable donor. Being Chinese myself, I prefer a Chinese donor who is at least 5'4", attractive and has a college education; preferably a proven donor who is local and requests a reasonable fee. I'm open to other Asians too if they meet our criteria. So far that has been a challenge to find. We have checked out tons of donor agencies that post profiles online, but still haven't been able to make our decision after a few months of searching. Donors are being matched so fast that we just can't keep up with the flow (we are slow decision makers...). Now we are considering loosening up our criteria. I was chatting with another Chinese IP on this website and we were wondering if there are others out there with a similar situation? If you have gone through a DE cycle, please share your experience too. Thanks!!

VISIT OUR SISTER SITES:
JustMommies Pregnancy Calendar	eHarmony Advice Dating Advice	Project Wedding Wedding Songs	Weddingbee Wedding Blog

Currently Active Chat Room Users: 0 \| Scheduled Chat Room Events
	Users in Chat Rooms: No one's chatting right now!

08-08-2009, 11:13 PM	#2 (permalink)
dodo928 400-499 post 6 of hearts Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: San Diego, CA Posts: 457	Moon: thanks for starting this new thread! Hi every Asian Intended Parents, I'm 43 now. My RE told me in April that my only chance is DE transfer. After a thorough discussion between my DH and myself, we started to move on. We started to search tons of agencies in order to find what we believe the 'BEST' chinese donor for us. I also can't keep up with the flow. I don't know if it's because we are in Southern California or other areas have the same problem. Initially, my DH was very selective and wanted the donor to have double eyelids and height between 5'5" and 5'7" and face not too wide, and most important of all, all-Chinese. After stressful search, we decided to narrow our criteria. We now just want somebody between 5' and 5'7" and all-Chinese and proven with high AFC will be enough.

08-09-2009, 08:47 AM	#3 (permalink)
moonchild508 100-199 post 3 of hearts Join Date: Mar 2009 Location: CA Posts: 121	Dodo - I have a question about the mock cycle - if you have menopause, would you still get AF while on BCP? I've also heard that you can do DE even if you have menopause. I am just not sure how that works in terms of syncing with the donor. I didn't know about the donors serving as the case mgrs at AED. That's a strange way of operating an agency. I don't know if I would trust them. However, there was a DE cycle recently completed at my doctor's office where the donor was from AED, and the nurse said everything went smoothly.

08-09-2009, 01:19 PM	#4 (permalink)
ymee 0-99 post 2 of hearts Join Date: Apr 2009 Location: Texas Posts: 26	Hi! Both my DH and I are Asians as well. I am with you in being a slow decision maker... We looked for a long time and when we found one she was in a cycle and wasn't interested in cycling again after that because she has school plans. I was disapointed, but we waited, and waited, and looked, and looked. I also contacted AED and the case mgr I talked to was vere nice and professional. After months, the original ED we found agreed to cycle for us! I really think you have to take your time... the whole process seems VERY "far out" when you think about it. As I am in TX, it is even harder to find Asian ED here. I didn't want to add the expens of travelling. There are a couple of agencies here. You can PM me if you would like their names. Good Luck!

08-10-2009, 12:48 AM	#5 (permalink)
dodo928 400-499 post 6 of hearts Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: San Diego, CA Posts: 457	Moon: I don't know how it would work. I think if I have menopause, AF will not come after BCPs. That's why I'm desperate to know after I'm done with the BCPs. I don't care whether AF will come or menopause will come. I only care to know the answer. I know both will work. The only thing won't work for the donor egg transfer is if the hormones are inconsistent during the mock cycle. I believe AED can do a good job. Since they are using egg donors as case manager, they can be very nice if they are not in drugs. My case manager was very nice to me in the beginning. I found out from their blog that she's a donor too. Her tone changed to very emotional recently when I inquire about a donor. Since I know she's a donor, I guess she might be in cycle at that moment because she never sounded like that before.

08-10-2009, 01:03 AM	#6 (permalink)
dodo928 400-499 post 6 of hearts Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: San Diego, CA Posts: 457	Ymee: Good to see you here! I heard what you said. I can understand it's harder to find donor in TX but it maybe less Chinese IPs there as well? In CA, there are many new immigrants who are of good qualities but not comfortable to be a ED. At the same time, Chinese IPs are increasing. Glad to know your donor is doing well!

08-10-2009, 06:37 PM	#7 (permalink)
moonchild508 100-199 post 3 of hearts Join Date: Mar 2009 Location: CA Posts: 121	Dodo - Is a mock cycle required by your RE? I'm not familiar with what goes on during the mock cycle. Two REs that I talked to said they don't normally require mock cycles because they don't think they are not necessary, but my RE does it for all DE recipients. I'd like to do a mock cycle if my insurance pays for it, just to be safe, you know? Ymee - Thanks for sharing your experience. We were interested in one donor a few months ago, but decided to wait because she was a first time donor. I contacted the agency the other day, and they told me she just finished a cycle, is matched for another one, and probably won't donate again after that. So frustrating. Are you in your DE cycle now or did you already finish one?

08-10-2009, 11:25 PM	#8 (permalink)
dodo928 400-499 post 6 of hearts Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: San Diego, CA Posts: 457	Moon: A mock cycle is basically a donor egg transfer cycle but without doing any transfer. They want to see what drugs and how much doses you need to take to stim your lining to the optimal thickness. It's better to do a mock cycle even if insurance is not covered. We'll only benefit from it because in the transfer cycle, the clinic know for sure what doses or drugs you need and we'll have one less thing to worry.

08-11-2009, 09:21 PM	#9 (permalink)
ymee 0-99 post 2 of hearts Join Date: Apr 2009 Location: Texas Posts: 26	dodo: Yes, I really think the number of IP's is increasing at a faster rate than donors. Since Asian ED are recently increasing, it is very hard to find a proven one. Moon: We are going through a cycle right now. ER is scheduled for this Fri! I know how frustrating it can be... but be patient. It will pay off at the end...

08-11-2009, 11:09 PM	#10 (permalink)
dodo928 400-499 post 6 of hearts Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: San Diego, CA Posts: 457	ymee: I'll be 44 at the end of the year and I don't have any children. I tried not to be impatient but my biological clock is clicking. I don't want to go to the step of surrogacy. I am desperate to experience pregnancy on my own. I know a Chinese IP in my area found her donor in a year and is pregnant now. She told me to be patient. She is in her 30's. I think anybody who is younger than me can be patient. I cannot convince myself to be patient but I guess this is the only choice since it's beyond my control.