Not infertile but am thinking about getting a donor....

[AMJ20]

Hi, I'm new on here. I had a couple of questions...

I am 20 years old and just found out that I have HSV-2, now I know that many people with the virus can go on to led normal lives and get married and have children. But sometimes it may not work out that way....I fear that I may not find someone who is willing to be with me because of this and I REALLY want kids someday. I wanted to know would it seem like selfish or something of me if I decided to get a sperm donor? If I went through an agency would they let me do it if I am not infertile? Do I have to go through an agency? I have yet to choose an age where if I am not married by this time to go ahead and do it, any suggestions on how old I should be? Any thing I should know about this before I set my mind on doing this one day????

Thanks.

[beth26]

I sent you a PM. Beth.

[BC-donor]

I'm sorry that you've found yourself in this situation, but I don't think it would be selfish of you to use a sperm donor to have the children that you someday want to have! How can it be selfish to want children? As long as you can provide for them, there's nothing selfish about wanting to be a parent!

Good luck to you!!

[Blondie8]

I don't know much about donor gametes (just that it's a wonderful thing if you need it) but I do know lots about HSV.

I understand that it can be a shocking and upsetting diagnosis but it's manageable and for almost everyone with it, poses no problems around fertility. Depending on where you live the rate of HSV infection in the total population is roughly 1 in 5 to 1 in 6 of ALL people so it really isn't an impedement to conception or birth of a child. I think it's great that you're looking at the whole spectrum of what *might* happen and luckily there is lots of technological fixes should you need them but again, think of any random group of 6 people, at least 1 of them with have HSV and unless you have sex when you've got an active lesion you chances of passing to someone else are minutely low. That said, should you decide that you want to use donor sperm I don't know of any agency that even inquires about HSV status, never mind HIV status.