Does this sound fishy to you??

amandabrown23 · 06-07-2009, 07:51 AM

I replied to an ad for a couple needing an egg donor and this is the message he sent back to me. The thing is it sounds kinda fishy or maybe I am reading it wrong what do you think.

Thanks for finding us.
I own a several production companies and a TV/FILM/Interactive Production Company. My wife and I have tried for the last 3 years almost every method to have a child and no luck due to her inability to produce eggs correctly. (the doctors have along description of why, but bottom line is she is not going to have any children without an egg donor). We are more than willing to pay top dollar for each cycle and all expenses associated with time, travel, medical, legal and any other expense that is necessary. We are of German, English background, but that type of issue is not important to us. We will also compensate you for any interview/meeting time and even if we decide in the end to go a different direction, we will compensate you for your time.

I hope you may be our blessing we have been looking for.

I would very much like to speak with you on the phone and meet you in person and see if you would be compatible with our hopes. I have become the lead on this as my wife (Marti) finds it a highly emotional issue, that at times, has been tough for her to deal with. She is a CPA, but was hoping to become a mother and spend more time at home starting a family than working and unfortunately nature has not given her an easy way to do so.
She has certain criteria, but I am the one that proably has more and as you can imagine (partially due to my art background) I am very image conscious. I am sure you would expect such and that is not a problem for you.

I am just curious as to what motivated you to embark on this direction and when you decided that helping people have a family was an interest to you.

I look forward to learning more. Please send any photos, resume and other information that you thin would be relevant.

Take care

Donor 1502 · 06-07-2009, 08:51 AM

What about it seems fishy to you? I think he sounds like the real thing. If he were asking for your social security number or money, then I'd say you should stop all contact. Right now he just wants to get to know you better, and I think he's also letting you know that he wants a physically attractive donor. I don't think this is out of the ordinary. It won't hurt to send some good-quality photos (send at least one current head shot and one full body shot) and resume to them.

But, if you're not comfortable with this couple, be forthright and tell them you're no longer interested. Don't string them along.

They are probably trying to avoid the very costly agency fees by recruiting their donor on their own. If you continue with them, make sure that you have your own legal representation and that you read and sign any paperwork before starting the donation process, including the preliminary work-up.

amandabrown23 · 06-07-2009, 09:02 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Donor 1502

What about it seems fishy to you? I think he sounds like the real thing. If he were asking for your social security number or money, then I'd say you should stop all contact. Right now he just wants to get to know you better, and I think he's also letting you know that he wants a physically attractive donor. I don't think this is out of the ordinary. It won't hurt to send some good-quality photos (send at least one current head shot and one full body shot) and resume to them.

But, if you're not comfortable with this couple, be forthright and tell them you're no longer interested. Don't string them along.

They are probably trying to avoid the very costly agency fees by recruiting their donor on their own. If you continue with them, make sure that you have your own legal representation and that you read and sign any paperwork before starting the donation process, including the preliminary work-up.

Okay great, thanks for your opinion. Only two things in the email caught my attention, the fact that he says he is a movie producer and the other is that his wife is too upset to look for the donor on her own which dont get me wrong I can see how that could happen but I guess I am just trying to be safe because you just never know. I will keep contact and see. I also could see someone not wanting to deal with an agency.

Donor 1502 · 06-07-2009, 12:53 PM

It's true, you never know who you are dealing with on the internet. I'd highly recommend that, if/when you meet them in person, to do so in a very public place.

I thought the TV producer thing was a little funny, but such jobs do exist.

dolcib · 06-07-2009, 01:30 PM

Amanda: I'm a recipient and not a donor and that email frightened me! I would be leery of anyone trying to recruit their own donor unless it is a relative or close friend. Here are the red flags that worried me:

1) His wife doesn't want to look for a donor? How do you know she wants eggs to begin with?
2) He's a movie producer? ...most people in production say things like, "I'm in film" or "I'm in TV."
3) If they are willing to pay top dollar, why not use an agency or an RE's office? There are screening standards, health histories, etc... that will ensure him a healthy donor. My RE's office also does psychological testing of prospective donors.
4) He wants your personal information, e,g, resume? photos? I think it is more anonymous if people want a photo of you as a child. This frightens me a bit
5) There is no mention of an attorney

This is just my two cents but if I were a prospective donor (not donating to a relative or friend), I would want the protection of an RE's office or a licensed, bonded agency. I would do EXTENSIVE background checks on an agency RE I would donate for and I would ask for references.

I hope this doesn't worry you, but Iwant you to be safe.
Best wishes,
Gabrielle

amandabrown23 · 06-07-2009, 02:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by dolcib

Amanda: I'm a recipient and not a donor and that email frightened me! I would be leery of anyone trying to recruit their own donor unless it is a relative or close friend. Here are the red flags that worried me:

1) His wife doesn't want to look for a donor? How do you know she wants eggs to begin with?
2) He's a movie producer? ...most people in production say things like, "I'm in film" or "I'm in TV."
3) If they are willing to pay top dollar, why not use an agency or an RE's office? There are screening standards, health histories, etc... that will ensure him a healthy donor. My RE's office also does psychological testing of prospective donors.
4) He wants your personal information, e,g, resume? photos? I think it is more anonymous if people want a photo of you as a child. This frightens me a bit
5) There is no mention of an attorney

This is just my two cents but if I were a prospective donor (not donating to a relative or friend), I would want the protection of an RE's office or a licensed, bonded agency. I would do EXTENSIVE background checks on an agency RE I would donate for and I would ask for references.

I hope this doesn't worry you, but Iwant you to be safe.
Best wishes,
Gabrielle

See those were my concerns too but I didnt want to jump the gun on acting as though it was fake somehow. I think to be on the safeside I will tell them I have changed my mind. I think the most disturbing thing is that HE wants to talk to me and meet me HE will choose, where is the wife and wouldnt she want a say in this???

CrystalAZ · 06-07-2009, 02:38 PM

I get a bad vibe from it too...

All the other issues aside, this comment:

Quote:

She has certain criteria, but I am the one that proably has more and as you can imagine (partially due to my art background) I am very image conscious.

made me a little ill. If he has an ugly baby, is he not going to love it? Is he going to throw image issues on his child his whole life?

I would not donate my eggs to him (and her, if there is a her). Sounds like a jerk.

Of course, the other things everyone else has already said raises some big red flags.

I would not send pictures or a resume to him, but if you want to meet him somewhere, make sure it is somewhere extremely public.

Crystal

amandabrown23 · 06-07-2009, 03:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CrystalAZ

I get a bad vibe from it too...

All the other issues aside, this comment:

made me a little ill. If he has an ugly baby, is he not going to love it? Is he going to throw image issues on his child his whole life?

I would not donate my eggs to him (and her, if there is a her). Sounds like a jerk.

Of course, the other things everyone else has already said raises some big red flags.

I would not send pictures or a resume to him, but if you want to meet him somewhere, make sure it is somewhere extremely public.

Crystal

yes the more I thought about it the more I decided this is not a good idea. I am gonna just wait and see if another couple picks me.

lw962 · 06-07-2009, 05:47 PM

Amanda- wow, u r so smart too be worried. At 1st I saw nothing wrong with the letter but the more I thought about it the more I understood ur concern.
We all have seen those scary 20/20 stories where a young attractive girl answers a producers ad or photographers ad only to never be seen again.
Definitely stay away.

Blossomo · 06-07-2009, 08:15 PM

Hmm. I wonder if "film production" means films of the *adult* type. Maybe he's casting for his next XXX feature? Agree with all the comments below. His wife's absence from the process is uber weird -- I can't imagine letting my husband do the screening without my input. Sounds more like he's looking for a mistress than a donor.

06-07-2009, 07:51 AM	#1 (permalink)
amandabrown23 0-99 post 2 of hearts Join Date: Mar 2009 Location: Louisiana Posts: 28	Does this sound fishy to you?? I replied to an ad for a couple needing an egg donor and this is the message he sent back to me. The thing is it sounds kinda fishy or maybe I am reading it wrong what do you think. Thanks for finding us. I own a several production companies and a TV/FILM/Interactive Production Company. My wife and I have tried for the last 3 years almost every method to have a child and no luck due to her inability to produce eggs correctly. (the doctors have along description of why, but bottom line is she is not going to have any children without an egg donor). We are more than willing to pay top dollar for each cycle and all expenses associated with time, travel, medical, legal and any other expense that is necessary. We are of German, English background, but that type of issue is not important to us. We will also compensate you for any interview/meeting time and even if we decide in the end to go a different direction, we will compensate you for your time. I hope you may be our blessing we have been looking for. I would very much like to speak with you on the phone and meet you in person and see if you would be compatible with our hopes. I have become the lead on this as my wife (Marti) finds it a highly emotional issue, that at times, has been tough for her to deal with. She is a CPA, but was hoping to become a mother and spend more time at home starting a family than working and unfortunately nature has not given her an easy way to do so. She has certain criteria, but I am the one that proably has more and as you can imagine (partially due to my art background) I am very image conscious. I am sure you would expect such and that is not a problem for you. I am just curious as to what motivated you to embark on this direction and when you decided that helping people have a family was an interest to you. I look forward to learning more. Please send any photos, resume and other information that you thin would be relevant. Take care

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06-07-2009, 08:51 AM	#2 (permalink)
Donor 1502 0-99 post 2 of hearts Join Date: Mar 2009 Posts: 50 Blog Entries: 13	What about it seems fishy to you? I think he sounds like the real thing. If he were asking for your social security number or money, then I'd say you should stop all contact. Right now he just wants to get to know you better, and I think he's also letting you know that he wants a physically attractive donor. I don't think this is out of the ordinary. It won't hurt to send some good-quality photos (send at least one current head shot and one full body shot) and resume to them. But, if you're not comfortable with this couple, be forthright and tell them you're no longer interested. Don't string them along. They are probably trying to avoid the very costly agency fees by recruiting their donor on their own. If you continue with them, make sure that you have your own legal representation and that you read and sign any paperwork before starting the donation process, including the preliminary work-up.

06-07-2009, 12:53 PM	#4 (permalink)
Donor 1502 0-99 post 2 of hearts Join Date: Mar 2009 Posts: 50 Blog Entries: 13	It's true, you never know who you are dealing with on the internet. I'd highly recommend that, if/when you meet them in person, to do so in a very public place. I thought the TV producer thing was a little funny, but such jobs do exist.

06-07-2009, 01:30 PM	#5 (permalink)
dolcib 100-199 post 3 of hearts Join Date: May 2009 Location: North Carolina Posts: 198	Amanda: I'm a recipient and not a donor and that email frightened me! I would be leery of anyone trying to recruit their own donor unless it is a relative or close friend. Here are the red flags that worried me: 1) His wife doesn't want to look for a donor? How do you know she wants eggs to begin with? 2) He's a movie producer? ...most people in production say things like, "I'm in film" or "I'm in TV." 3) If they are willing to pay top dollar, why not use an agency or an RE's office? There are screening standards, health histories, etc... that will ensure him a healthy donor. My RE's office also does psychological testing of prospective donors. 4) He wants your personal information, e,g, resume? photos? I think it is more anonymous if people want a photo of you as a child. This frightens me a bit 5) There is no mention of an attorney This is just my two cents but if I were a prospective donor (not donating to a relative or friend), I would want the protection of an RE's office or a licensed, bonded agency. I would do EXTENSIVE background checks on an agency RE I would donate for and I would ask for references. I hope this doesn't worry you, but Iwant you to be safe. Best wishes, Gabrielle

06-07-2009, 05:47 PM	#9 (permalink)
lw962 1000-4999 post queen of hearts Join Date: Oct 2007 Location: Miami, FL Posts: 3,776	Amanda- wow, u r so smart too be worried. At 1st I saw nothing wrong with the letter but the more I thought about it the more I understood ur concern. We all have seen those scary 20/20 stories where a young attractive girl answers a producers ad or photographers ad only to never be seen again. Definitely stay away.

06-07-2009, 08:15 PM	#10 (permalink)
Blossomo 0-99 post 2 of hearts Join Date: Jul 2008 Location: Los Angeles, CA Posts: 95	Hmm. I wonder if "film production" means films of the adult type. Maybe he's casting for his next XXX feature? Agree with all the comments below. His wife's absence from the process is uber weird -- I can't imagine letting my husband do the screening without my input. Sounds more like he's looking for a mistress than a donor.