My potential donor is thinking about it...

pinku · 08-28-2008, 03:00 PM

Hi ladies,
I have been lurking here from time to time, and wanted to pose a question. I have asked my sister (who will soon be 40) if she will be a donor for us, and she is giving it some thought. She wants to read as much as she can about it, and I want to give her suggestions.
I have already looked at people's suggestions about good books, but does anyone have an opinion specific to helping a donor understand what's involved, and the emotional implications?
I am assuming Mommies, Daddies, Donors and Surrogates is probably the best one to give her. Any thoughts?
thanks in advance.

maddiemonk · 08-28-2008, 06:44 PM

I am sorry pinku if I am presenting an opinion that contradicts how you feel, but you did ask for opinions. For me, I would be very reluctant to use a 40 year old donor. Donor egg IVF is such an expensive process even without the donor fee. The statistics state that egg quality greatly diminishes after age 35 and for IVF with eggs over 40 only 5% result in healthy live births. This is quite a low number.

There are other options that can lower the cost of DE IVF such as shared cycles (where two or even three people) share a donor, decreasing the cost.

If you are interested in the genetic connection, you may want to explore looking for a younger relative to help you.

Regardless, that is very generous of your sister to consider it.

Good luck to you!

pinku · 08-28-2008, 07:21 PM

Just for the record...
Thanks for the feedback, Maddiemonk, but I am not looking for advice on the age of my donor. I should have made it that clear in my original post, it was my mistake.
It has taken much soul searching and research to make the decision we have made. I've been on the IF journey for many years, and I realize the implications and the odds of my and my husband's decisions to approach my sister. Nothing is an easy decision.

Again, I'd love advice on books to help educate my donor on her decisions.

Many thanks,
Pinku

**BC-donor** · 08-30-2008, 09:50 PM

No help here with book suggestions, but I wish you the best of luck.

I would make sure that you discuss her age with your RE though, (if you haven't already) because most RE's have an age limit where they won't use a donor above a certain age.

Good luck in your search for a book for your sister.

08-28-2008, 03:00 PM	#1 (permalink)
pinku Registered User Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: Arlington, VA Posts: 458	My potential donor is thinking about it... Hi ladies, I have been lurking here from time to time, and wanted to pose a question. I have asked my sister (who will soon be 40) if she will be a donor for us, and she is giving it some thought. She wants to read as much as she can about it, and I want to give her suggestions. I have already looked at people's suggestions about good books, but does anyone have an opinion specific to helping a donor understand what's involved, and the emotional implications? I am assuming Mommies, Daddies, Donors and Surrogates is probably the best one to give her. Any thoughts? thanks in advance.

08-28-2008, 06:44 PM	#2 (permalink)
maddiemonk 600-699 post 8 of hearts Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: new york city Posts: 600	I am sorry pinku if I am presenting an opinion that contradicts how you feel, but you did ask for opinions. For me, I would be very reluctant to use a 40 year old donor. Donor egg IVF is such an expensive process even without the donor fee. The statistics state that egg quality greatly diminishes after age 35 and for IVF with eggs over 40 only 5% result in healthy live births. This is quite a low number. There are other options that can lower the cost of DE IVF such as shared cycles (where two or even three people) share a donor, decreasing the cost. If you are interested in the genetic connection, you may want to explore looking for a younger relative to help you. Regardless, that is very generous of your sister to consider it. Good luck to you! __________________ Me(47) DH(44) DE IVF ICSI 10/08 BFP We had a girl on June 30th at noon! 2 med. IUI cycles 3/08 & 4/08 BFN DE IVF ICSI 6/07 BFP 8/07 Natural pregnancy@43 11/05 12/05

08-30-2008, 09:50 PM	#4 (permalink)
BC-donor 500-599 post 7 of hearts Join Date: Jan 2005 Posts: 587	No help here with book suggestions, but I wish you the best of luck. I would make sure that you discuss her age with your RE though, (if you haven't already) because most RE's have an age limit where they won't use a donor above a certain age. Good luck in your search for a book for your sister. __________________ Multiple DE cycles, finally successful

VISIT OUR SISTER SITES:
JustMommies Pregnancy Calendar	eHarmony Advice Dating Advice	Project Wedding Wedding Songs	Weddingbee Wedding Blog

Currently Active Chat Room Users: 0 \| Scheduled Chat Room Events
	Users in Chat Rooms: No one's chatting right now!

08-28-2008, 07:21 PM	#3 (permalink)
pinku Registered User Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: Arlington, VA Posts: 458	Just for the record... Thanks for the feedback, Maddiemonk, but I am not looking for advice on the age of my donor. I should have made it that clear in my original post, it was my mistake. It has taken much soul searching and research to make the decision we have made. I've been on the IF journey for many years, and I realize the implications and the odds of my and my husband's decisions to approach my sister. Nothing is an easy decision. Again, I'd love advice on books to help educate my donor on her decisions. Many thanks, Pinku