Anyone used donor embryos?( Potential donor ?'s)

[armywfe06]

Hi ladies I am starting an IVF cycle next month and can not freeze what embryo's (if any) we have left over for financial reasons. We are not interested in disposing of them so we want to donate to a couple. I am just interested in how something like that works. Can we choose who we would like to donate to? We don't want to keep an open relationship with them we would just like to know a little about them and if they were able to conceive with the embryo's. I would also like them to have our info. in case of any health problems later on. They also gave us a paper saying we would require further testing if we chose to donate our embryo's and this was a $1000. Is this something we pay or the "adopting" couple would pay? The paper is worded like we would but that doesn't make sense to me. Also does the receiving couple usually pay the donator's for them? We only want to offset any cost to us so would only want the $1000 for the tests covered and bc of that we would want to donate to a couple who could not or would have a hard time paying extra for DE unless this is something that people don't usually charge for. My DH is in the military so we know about having a hard time getting the money for ttc. Ok if this is to long or confusing I am sorry lol I am on some meds. for an unrelated issue (nothing serious) Thanks for anyone who made it to the end of this and has any info!

[Janet_P]

I'm not much help because I was on the receiving end of donor embryos. I didn't have to pay anything except the fee to thaw and transfer...and drugs of course. I did do the transfer in '04, and I think the laws have changed...about the donating couple having to have more in depth testing.

By the way, it worked and I have a 3 yr old DS. Being able to receive donor embryos was the best gift I have ever been given.

Have you looked into Snowflakes?

Janet

[armywfe06]

No I have not. I don't know what snowflakes is would you mind informing me? I don't mind women who received the embryo's telling me about their experiences I think they could probably answer the ?'s just as well.
Janet if you don't mind sharing were the embryo's an anonymous donation? Do you have any way to find out medical info. at a later date if needed? And did you inform the couple you were pregnant? And I am so happy for you that you were able to beat IF I can't wait until I do!

[StacyD]

We are hoping to use donated embies in the every near future. We were never luck enough to have any left over to freeze.

At our clinic, we are in the Fort Worth area, couple who wish to donate are not charged any fees that I know of. I do know that they want blood testing done to rule out things like AIDS. For us we will have to pay for the FET.

With Snowflakes it is much like an adoption agency. There are huge fees for the couple receiving the embies as much as if going through a true adoption on top of the FET fees and shipping fees. A homestudy also has to be done. It is many of the reason we are going through our clinic and getting on a waiting list instead of using an agency like Snowflakes. It may be for some but not for us.

I wish you luck with your IVF cycles and wanted to say what you are wanting to do by donating you leftover embies is such a wonderful gift.

[armywfe06]

Thank you and we really hope we are able. I looked into snowflakes last night and as much as we wish it was for us too I don't believe it is. The reason is because they require us to pay storage fees until the embryos are donated and I don't want to do that. They are not reimbursed either. Like I said I don't want to be paid for them but I don't want to be out money either. I hope we are able to find an agency who will do this the way we would like.

[Janet_P]

Sorry for not responding earlier.

There is another agency called Embryos Alive. It's located in TN. I don't know if they charge you a storage fee, or if they take custody of the embryos. I don't have much info because I was on the other side and simply used embryos at the clinic where I was receiving treatment.

Is there anyone at your clinic who would be willing to do something like a shared cycle? I think shared cycles usually involve people sharing the same egg donor, but I don't know why someone couldn't just cycle along with you and then do a fresh transfer at the same time. I guess your dr.would have to arrange it?

About my situation. I got 3 profiles to choose from. They were all anonymous donors. I choose the profile where the mother was the youngest. In our case, it was embryos that were donor egg/donor sperm generated. The profiles included medical info.

Now, that said, I have no idea anything about my child. I was supposed to have a child with blue eyes (both donors were blue eyed) and O+ blood (again, both donors have O+). I have a black-eyed boy with A+ blood. I've compared him to the other 2 profiles and there is one that he might match. I talked to the dr. about it and she said it must have been a mess up on the sperm donor end...they filled out the info card wrong. I didn't pursue it. I figured it out immediately because of the blood type issue...I also didn't think his eyes could ever turn blue! Right after giving birth, I was a little crazy...I think that's normal, and I started thinking someone was going to come up to me and say," That baby is mine...you got the wrong embryos!" grab him and run off. I just let it drop.

Also, he is perfect! There is no way I could have produced a biological baby who is as wonderful as he. I know I'm biased, but I think he's beautiful, and he's bright and sweet. He is the baby God wanted me to have. You may not be interested, but if you PM me your email, I'll send you a picture.

My mother has those dark, dark brown eyes so I've relied on her to make explanations. We didn't tell anyone except IMMEDIATE family what we were doing. My DS can tell if he wants to...it's his story..and I made him a photo book about how we got him...I have pictures of the actual embryos. He's only 3, so I'm not sure how much of it makes since to him.

I didn't mean to take the topic of this thread off of your situation. I hope you are able to find a solution. It would be a shame to waste embryos...especially when there are many couples who would do practically ANYTHING to have the opportunity to use them. My husband and I are too old to do this again, or I might be trying to out where you live.

Take care and GOOD LUCK!
Janet

[BC-deanne]

You can donate the embryos but it is illegal to sell them but the adopting couple can pick up the cost of freeze or other expenses associated with the embryos.

Deanne

[JAS]

Hi Janet, I was happy to read your story. I have been in contact with Bonnie and Embryo's Alive, and have submitted some info to another couple there. I was glad to read yet another success story from them, they are really wonderful to work with. Enjoy your little boy, what a blessing. Hugs!!

[BC-deanne]

Janet,

I used donated embryos as well. My son is almost 4. I did another donor embryo FET and I'm pregnant and due in Nov with a girl. I used a different set of anonymous embryos. You aren't to old to do another donor embryo FET. I'm 46.


Armywife,
There are many donor embryo agencies. They deal with frozen embryos though. I don't know how hard it would be to find someone to take fresh embryos.

www.embryosalive.com
www.miraclewaiting.org

you can contact them and they may be able to help you.

Deanne

[JAS]

Deanne, that is so awesome. I am so excited for you. My husband is pushing me to really try this as we cannot make a baby together and he is tired of seeing me cry daily about getting old and never experiencing pregnancy. Hugs, and good luck with your new little girl.........they are so amazing. I love my little stinker, she just makes my everyday!

Armywife06, one thing about donating too is to make sure you have had an HIV test at least six months before to prove that you are ok. My Re won't even consider transfering them unless there has been an HIV test at some point. If you had paperwork for that, you are fine. I know I had to have an HIV test, so I am sure it is pretty standard.