Choosing egg donor

Gisele · 07-25-2008, 04:48 PM

My DH and me are going to use unknown donor and after long wait, we have been finally matched. I really like personality of the donor, but have some doubts about the fact that she takes xanax due to anxiety. I am afraid that it could affect the quality of eggs. Anyone has any suggestions? Thanks!

**BC-donor** · 08-10-2008, 07:30 PM

I'm sorry that this was missed before!

If you're concerned about her egg quality due to her meds, you could always double check with your RE about that, however, if her taking Xanax was a problem, they wouldn't have allowed her into the donor program.

Is she a proven donor? (meaning that she's donated before & the couple got pg from that donation)

Personally, the fact that she takes meds for anxiety would make me a tad nervous & unsure of using her. But, that's just me.

If you really like her & your RE approves of her, then I'd go with her.

Good luck & let us know what you decide(d) to do!!

Gisele · 08-10-2008, 08:07 PM

BC-donor-thanks for your response. I really appreciate it

I spoke with my RE and I got info that our donor takes Xanax only occasionally and it does not affect her eggs quality at all. As we really like this donor's personality, we decided to go with her. Besides that I am not getting any younger

and I feel like this is our time to try. She is not a proven donor, but she has her own child. Hopefully she will prove with us that she is a right donor

Currently I started with my BCP, next week we are meeting with my RE to discuss our situation. As this is our first attempt with ED, I just feel really confused what's the next step.

I am preparing a long list of questions to our doctor, so I hope by the next weekend I will feel more familiar and comfortable with the process.
Thanks again for responding to my post

Good luck to you and all wonderful women on their TTC journey!
Gisele

**BC-donor** · 08-10-2008, 09:05 PM

Gisele,
With her only using it ocassionally, that would make me feel heaps better about using her!

You know, everyone, at one point, is unproven, so if no one wants to use a donor who hasn't donated before, then no one will ever get that proven donor, right?!

So, you can be the one to make her a proven donor!!

You're already on BCP's, so your RE will most likely put you on Lupron to suppress your ovaries so that they can get you in sync with your donor. Doing a donor cycle is really pretty easy!! From there, you'll just wait for your donor to be ready for her retrieval & while you're waiting, you & your DH will most likely start some antibiotics for usually 10 days. Then as you get closer to transfer time, you may be started on Estrogen supplements. Then it's transfer time baby!!!

You'll do just fine!! Hang in there & keep us posted, ok?!

cat mommy · 08-12-2008, 05:02 PM

If your RE says it won't affect egg quality, then I wouldn't be worried about it at all. No donor is going to be medically perfect, so it really is just a matter of picking out the imperfections you can live with.

maddiemonk · 08-15-2008, 02:53 PM

I agree with BC-Donor. I would be more concerned about the fact that her anxiety escalates to a level that requires psychotropic meds. Of course, I am looking at this in relation to your child. As for the egg quality, I doubt it would be effected by the zanac.

But it is also important to weigh in how much the positives outweigh the negatives when chosing a donor. None of us will ever find the absolute perfect donor. many of the girls on this board have told me to go with my instinct!

Wishing you the best of luck. I hope you will share your journey with us!

Diane

Gisele · 08-17-2008, 07:23 AM

BC-donor- It's always good to know what's next

Thank you so much for your response. Step by step we learn about the whole process, but the hardest part is waiting...

cat mommy-that's exactly what I think- we decided to go with anonymous donor through our RE office (cheaper solution) and from the beginning of the process I knew that finding 100% perfect donor will be very difficult. We waited few months, went through some profiles, but it was not "IT". With this donor's personality, even she is not medically perfect we just feel comfortable

Diane-thank you for your opinion and good luck wishes

Isn't it amazing how us women rely on our instinct

. That's what I did this time. Please keep you fingers crossed for me

I feel much more confident with our choice, after our last appointment with my RE. I assumed that my donor is not a proven one, as it was not mentioned in her profile. The form of the profile is focused mostly on the donor's and family's health history as well as donor's personality. There is really no assigned line to include "proven donor" information

I think they should change it..... During our meeting with the RE last week he told us that another couple used that donor, two embies were transferred and it resulted in one healthy baby. We were really thrilled.

I keep taking my BCPs and prenatal vitamins and pray every day....

Thank you all for reading my story and good luck to everyone

maddiemonk · 08-17-2008, 09:43 AM

Wow! that is great news Gisele. So she IS a proven donor. Something for you (and everyone) to remember is that just because it isn't on the line, it doesn't mean you can't ask.

When our RE did the donor presentation for the donor we will be using next month. I came back to him with a list of additional questions. The first time I went through this process, I was only really concerned about the health of the donor.

This time around I thought about questions that my child might ask as they were growing up or as an adult. I wanted as much info as possible. I asked questions like whether the donor was born through natural childbirth, whether her mother breast fed, what was separation like from her parents. What was her personality as a child in school. I asked about her milestones...walking, talking etc. The list goes on.

Anyway, just something to think about.

Wishing you the best of luck. please join us on the "hard to wait" thread :-)

Diane

Gisele · 08-21-2008, 04:41 PM

Maddiemonk-those are great tips. I will definitely try to obtain as much info about my donor as possible.
Thank you for inviting me to your thread. I will be happy to join you guys.
See you there and good luck to you!

07-25-2008, 04:48 PM	#1 (permalink)
Gisele Registered User Join Date: Jun 2008 Location: nj, usa Posts: 17	Choosing egg donor My DH and me are going to use unknown donor and after long wait, we have been finally matched. I really like personality of the donor, but have some doubts about the fact that she takes xanax due to anxiety. I am afraid that it could affect the quality of eggs. Anyone has any suggestions? Thanks!

08-10-2008, 07:30 PM	#2 (permalink)
BC-donor 500-599 post 7 of hearts Join Date: Jan 2005 Posts: 587	I'm sorry that this was missed before! If you're concerned about her egg quality due to her meds, you could always double check with your RE about that, however, if her taking Xanax was a problem, they wouldn't have allowed her into the donor program. Is she a proven donor? (meaning that she's donated before & the couple got pg from that donation) Personally, the fact that she takes meds for anxiety would make me a tad nervous & unsure of using her. But, that's just me. If you really like her & your RE approves of her, then I'd go with her. Good luck & let us know what you decide(d) to do!! __________________ Multiple DE cycles, finally successful

08-10-2008, 09:05 PM	#4 (permalink)
BC-donor 500-599 post 7 of hearts Join Date: Jan 2005 Posts: 587	Gisele, With her only using it ocassionally, that would make me feel heaps better about using her! You know, everyone, at one point, is unproven, so if no one wants to use a donor who hasn't donated before, then no one will ever get that proven donor, right?! So, you can be the one to make her a proven donor!! You're already on BCP's, so your RE will most likely put you on Lupron to suppress your ovaries so that they can get you in sync with your donor. Doing a donor cycle is really pretty easy!! From there, you'll just wait for your donor to be ready for her retrieval & while you're waiting, you & your DH will most likely start some antibiotics for usually 10 days. Then as you get closer to transfer time, you may be started on Estrogen supplements. Then it's transfer time baby!!! You'll do just fine!! Hang in there & keep us posted, ok?! __________________ Multiple DE cycles, finally successful

08-15-2008, 02:53 PM	#6 (permalink)
maddiemonk 600-699 post 8 of hearts Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: new york city Posts: 600	I agree with BC-Donor. I would be more concerned about the fact that her anxiety escalates to a level that requires psychotropic meds. Of course, I am looking at this in relation to your child. As for the egg quality, I doubt it would be effected by the zanac. But it is also important to weigh in how much the positives outweigh the negatives when chosing a donor. None of us will ever find the absolute perfect donor. many of the girls on this board have told me to go with my instinct! Wishing you the best of luck. I hope you will share your journey with us! Diane __________________ Me(47) DH(44) DE IVF ICSI 10/08 BFP We had a girl on June 30th at noon! 2 med. IUI cycles 3/08 & 4/08 BFN DE IVF ICSI 6/07 BFP 8/07 Natural pregnancy@43 11/05 12/05

08-17-2008, 09:43 AM	#8 (permalink)
maddiemonk 600-699 post 8 of hearts Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: new york city Posts: 600	Wow! that is great news Gisele. So she IS a proven donor. Something for you (and everyone) to remember is that just because it isn't on the line, it doesn't mean you can't ask. When our RE did the donor presentation for the donor we will be using next month. I came back to him with a list of additional questions. The first time I went through this process, I was only really concerned about the health of the donor. This time around I thought about questions that my child might ask as they were growing up or as an adult. I wanted as much info as possible. I asked questions like whether the donor was born through natural childbirth, whether her mother breast fed, what was separation like from her parents. What was her personality as a child in school. I asked about her milestones...walking, talking etc. The list goes on. Anyway, just something to think about. Wishing you the best of luck. please join us on the "hard to wait" thread :-) Diane __________________ Me(47) DH(44) DE IVF ICSI 10/08 BFP We had a girl on June 30th at noon! 2 med. IUI cycles 3/08 & 4/08 BFN DE IVF ICSI 6/07 BFP 8/07 Natural pregnancy@43 11/05 12/05

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08-10-2008, 08:07 PM	#3 (permalink)
Gisele Registered User Join Date: Jun 2008 Location: nj, usa Posts: 17	BC-donor-thanks for your response. I really appreciate it I spoke with my RE and I got info that our donor takes Xanax only occasionally and it does not affect her eggs quality at all. As we really like this donor's personality, we decided to go with her. Besides that I am not getting any younger and I feel like this is our time to try. She is not a proven donor, but she has her own child. Hopefully she will prove with us that she is a right donor Currently I started with my BCP, next week we are meeting with my RE to discuss our situation. As this is our first attempt with ED, I just feel really confused what's the next step. I am preparing a long list of questions to our doctor, so I hope by the next weekend I will feel more familiar and comfortable with the process. Thanks again for responding to my post Good luck to you and all wonderful women on their TTC journey! Gisele

08-12-2008, 05:02 PM	#5 (permalink)
cat mommy 1000-4999 post queen of hearts Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: up North Posts: 1,018	If your RE says it won't affect egg quality, then I wouldn't be worried about it at all. No donor is going to be medically perfect, so it really is just a matter of picking out the imperfections you can live with.

08-17-2008, 07:23 AM	#7 (permalink)
Gisele Registered User Join Date: Jun 2008 Location: nj, usa Posts: 17	BC-donor- It's always good to know what's next Thank you so much for your response. Step by step we learn about the whole process, but the hardest part is waiting... cat mommy-that's exactly what I think- we decided to go with anonymous donor through our RE office (cheaper solution) and from the beginning of the process I knew that finding 100% perfect donor will be very difficult. We waited few months, went through some profiles, but it was not "IT". With this donor's personality, even she is not medically perfect we just feel comfortable Diane-thank you for your opinion and good luck wishes Isn't it amazing how us women rely on our instinct . That's what I did this time. Please keep you fingers crossed for me I feel much more confident with our choice, after our last appointment with my RE. I assumed that my donor is not a proven one, as it was not mentioned in her profile. The form of the profile is focused mostly on the donor's and family's health history as well as donor's personality. There is really no assigned line to include "proven donor" information I think they should change it..... During our meeting with the RE last week he told us that another couple used that donor, two embies were transferred and it resulted in one healthy baby. We were really thrilled. I keep taking my BCPs and prenatal vitamins and pray every day.... Thank you all for reading my story and good luck to everyone

08-21-2008, 04:41 PM	#9 (permalink)
Gisele Registered User Join Date: Jun 2008 Location: nj, usa Posts: 17	Maddiemonk-those are great tips. I will definitely try to obtain as much info about my donor as possible. Thank you for inviting me to your thread. I will be happy to join you guys. See you there and good luck to you!

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