New to DE issues: Questions (child & m/c ment)

[Mom_2_One]

Hi
I am 42.5 and had my child at 39. It was an easy conception and birth. We have been TTC#2 for just over 1 year. We've conceived on our own, but have had 4 1st trimester losses. I just found out yesterday that I have another blighted ovum. I should be 7w;2d. We only see an empty sac...I am pretty sure that my age is contributing to these problems, but I found out last month that I have wacky male hormone levels, cystic ovaries and insulin resistance; the diagnosis is PCOS. I started taking meds but conceived the week that I started taking them. So did not benefit from medication before getting pg last month. The med are supposed to balance my hormone levels.

At this point, I do not know whether I should keep TTC now that I have been taking meds which could improve my egg quality and help me avoid m/c, or if I should move ahead with someone else's healthier, younger eggs. My questions are:
How were you able to arrive at your personal decision to use DE?
What are the major obstacles to successfully acquiring and having success with DEs?
How is the choice for a specific donor (if using anonymous donors) made?
If asking a younger family member, how did that work for you?
This is all new territory for me. I feel like I need to make a decision soon. It's been so emotionally draining to be able to conceive on my own and then loose the pgs. In the back of my mind I keep thinking there is hope because I did manage to have DD. But, I was nearly 4 years younger when I conceived her in '04. Thanks for reading.
-Victoria

[carolsue]

Mon_2_One-Moving on to Donor Eggs is/can be a tough choice, for me personally it wasn't too hard. Dh & I have been married 21 yrs and made the
decision not to have children, 3 months b/f my 41st bday we decided let nature take its course then on to clomid then iui's then ivf's. I still ovulate and the RE said it was possible to get a bfp but not likely, b/f we even did our 1st ivf using a donor was in the back of my mind and I decided to start checking into it on the net and started lurking in forums. My dh was a little hard to convince at first but realizing that was the only way we would have a
child and the only way I could give him one our mind was made. On our last attempt at ivf b/f the cycle was even over I let the coordinator know that I would like for her to keep a look out for any donor that might appeal to me even though we had other steps to follow b/f that could really happen she did indeed start looking, right after our bfn she told me we had to meet w/ a counselor that helped couples w/ their decison and make sure we explored every avenue.

The donor selection at our office was that when donors became available she would let us now and fax us profiles. I had decided finding a donor that resembled my dh was important to me and one that had children already or a donor that had been chosen before and the recipient got a bfp was top on my list. We were able to do a cycle but I started bleeding and couldn't transfer the embryos then had to freeze them. I have 3 on ice and am awaiting surgery on 7/7 for an abdominal myomectomy and hopefully in 3/4 months will be able to transfer. I can tell you that as soon as I started prepping for the donor cycle I was updated at every appt she had and always considered those eggs as mine and found myself getting excited. I do not regret our decision, it was costly, $16,000.00 and woulddo it again if need be and if we had the money, also I just turned 43 and dh will be 47 in Oct so we are no spring chickens either.

Good luck w/ your decision

Carol

[cs1984cs]

Originally Posted by Mom_2_One

. My questions are:
How were you able to arrive at your personal decision to use DE?

It took months after grieving for a bio child that could never be. Eventually, parenting was more important than bio link.

What are the major obstacles to successfully acquiring and having success with DEs?

We went through 7 ED until we found a viable one that passed all the tests. We are not the norm; most folks go through one to two donors. ED is one big lengthy wait between short rewarding bursts.

How is the choice for a specific donor (if using anonymous donors) made?

We went for healthy and with characteristics that would fit on either side of our families b/c we're not telling. I didn't look for a "twin." Achievements were not important to us; we believe more in nurture than nature.

If asking a younger family member, how did that work for you?

n/a

Good luck.