anonymous donor egg presentation (m/c ment)

maddiemonk · 06-15-2008, 10:50 AM

Hi Girls!

Well, it is hard to believe that it has been a year since being on this board.

I am having a pretty rough time right now and think I probably will be over the next couple of months. Last year my DH and I did DEIVF cycle end of June and got a BFP. I m/c at almost 11 weeks...yes, we were a statistic...only about 6% over DEIVF cycles end in m/c after 10 weeks. ugh!

After being seduced into a few medicated IUI cycles, we are back on the DEIVF train. I was really ambivalent about using our last donor again (she was willing to cycle again) but the decision was made for me. At present, she does not want to.

We are having our first potential donor presentation tomorrow. The donor is 29 years old and has all the characteristics we are looking for in a donor. She has proven fertility but has never cycled before. This is something that concerns me because I have heard that just because some one has a child, it does not mean that they would be a good donor. It is all very confusing. The program at our clinic is anonymous so we will get limited info.

Any one have any insight into this process or any thoughts about questions we might ask tomorrow.

Thank you!!!

Hugs to all who are cycling...and best wishes to those preggo's and new moms!!!!

xxoo

Diane

rjc0704 · 06-15-2008, 12:43 PM

Diane,

Good luck with your donor selection. My biggest suggestion is ask alot of questions about the selection process and what percentage they let in. Most of them only let in about 20% based on psychological, motives, and of course extensive testing. Hopefully you will have access to profiling questions and potential donors' answers.

nugget · 06-18-2008, 10:41 AM

Hi Diane,

I am pg with twins using a first time donor with no children. I took a risk but it paid off. Everyone always thinks a proven donor is the way to go but I've read many stories of people using proven donors and the cycles are a bust. Just go with your heart and you'll make the right decision.

Good Luck!!

cs1984cs · 06-18-2008, 07:18 PM

I'm posting late, I hope it went well.

We worked with a non-proven/first time ED and got preggo on the first try. Ultimately, it's a crap chute, imo... too many factors and each time is different. It's comfort level that matters... you don't want to have regrets.

GL,

CS

mis3nenes · 06-18-2008, 09:42 PM

I'm sorry to hear your last DEIVF cycle ended in mc. I hope your next cycle brings you your baby

We used a donor who had a child but had never cycled before and it worked out for us on the first try (x's 3 - we got pg w/ triplets).

Our donor went on to donate to another couple on 2 separate cycles and both resulted in pregnancies.

About a year after her last DE cycle she got pregnant and mc'd. Like a PP said it's hard to predict exactly what the outcome will be.

Best of luck on your next cycle!

06-19-2008, 06:02 AM

Hi Diane --
If they can get FSH & AFC #s, it might give you some indication of her potential response to stims. My cousin who donated was 38, had a small child, and a twin sister who was pregnant at the time we did your cycle. We thought these were good indicators of fertility, and she had good #s, too -- and it turned out we were right.
Wishing you the best whatever you decide!
Kat

yaoming · 06-22-2008, 09:42 PM

I liked my egg donor coordinator and although I researched a lot of agencies I first contacted the agencies my coordinator suggested.... after a couple of chases on donors I thought were right and then having them go with another couple the first agency I had contacted called me.... they had a donor in my city that matched my profile..... long story short.... I have a beautiful little boy..... everything that I was looking for came to me in a phone call....... besides the words on the profile I needed to feel the "safety" of someone else helping me find a match..... my coordinator loved my donor...... thought we were a good match and I needed to know that. I believe my confidence in selecting a donor that felt right helped me get pregnant with the fresh cycle.... I wish you the best.....

thebabyproject · 06-27-2008, 05:06 PM

hey, honey.

I'll just say this. All your buying with your DE egg money is a better chance. Not a guarantee, just a better chance, better odds horse in the TTC race.

So, in the end, you just have to go with what feels right for you.

BTW, your PM box is full.

Emily

**BC-MAV** · 06-28-2008, 10:56 AM

Just wanted to add that we went with a donor that had NEVER cycled before, did NOT have children, and she was an ONLY child. Some of you may think "walk away~ not fertile" but she responded well to the meds and we got a bunch of eggs and embryos and our SM got pg the 1st try which resulted in our 2nd DS. Having donated or having had a child are not guarantees. I think you'll do just fine!

maddiemonk · 06-28-2008, 11:08 AM

Thanks girls!

You are all so reassuring. :-)

xxoo

Diane

06-15-2008, 10:50 AM	#1 (permalink)
maddiemonk 600-699 post 8 of hearts Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: new york city Posts: 600	anonymous donor egg presentation (m/c ment) Hi Girls! Well, it is hard to believe that it has been a year since being on this board. I am having a pretty rough time right now and think I probably will be over the next couple of months. Last year my DH and I did DEIVF cycle end of June and got a BFP. I m/c at almost 11 weeks...yes, we were a statistic...only about 6% over DEIVF cycles end in m/c after 10 weeks. ugh! After being seduced into a few medicated IUI cycles, we are back on the DEIVF train. I was really ambivalent about using our last donor again (she was willing to cycle again) but the decision was made for me. At present, she does not want to. We are having our first potential donor presentation tomorrow. The donor is 29 years old and has all the characteristics we are looking for in a donor. She has proven fertility but has never cycled before. This is something that concerns me because I have heard that just because some one has a child, it does not mean that they would be a good donor. It is all very confusing. The program at our clinic is anonymous so we will get limited info. Any one have any insight into this process or any thoughts about questions we might ask tomorrow. Thank you!!! Hugs to all who are cycling...and best wishes to those preggo's and new moms!!!! xxoo Diane __________________ Me(47) DH(44) DE IVF ICSI 10/08 BFP We had a girl on June 30th at noon! 2 med. IUI cycles 3/08 & 4/08 BFN DE IVF ICSI 6/07 BFP 8/07 Natural pregnancy@43 11/05 12/05

06-18-2008, 07:18 PM	#4 (permalink)
cs1984cs Registered User Join Date: May 2006 Posts: 2,198	pg ment I'm posting late, I hope it went well. We worked with a non-proven/first time ED and got preggo on the first try. Ultimately, it's a crap chute, imo... too many factors and each time is different. It's comfort level that matters... you don't want to have regrets. GL, CS

06-28-2008, 11:08 AM	#10 (permalink)
maddiemonk 600-699 post 8 of hearts Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: new york city Posts: 600	Thanks girls! You are all so reassuring. :-) xxoo Diane __________________ Me(47) DH(44) DE IVF ICSI 10/08 BFP We had a girl on June 30th at noon! 2 med. IUI cycles 3/08 & 4/08 BFN DE IVF ICSI 6/07 BFP 8/07 Natural pregnancy@43 11/05 12/05

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06-15-2008, 12:43 PM	#2 (permalink)
rjc0704 1000-4999 post queen of hearts Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: Madison, CT Posts: 1,037	Diane, Good luck with your donor selection. My biggest suggestion is ask alot of questions about the selection process and what percentage they let in. Most of them only let in about 20% based on psychological, motives, and of course extensive testing. Hopefully you will have access to profiling questions and potential donors' answers.

06-18-2008, 10:41 AM	#3 (permalink)
nugget Registered User Join Date: Dec 2007 Posts: 97	Hi Diane, I am pg with twins using a first time donor with no children. I took a risk but it paid off. Everyone always thinks a proven donor is the way to go but I've read many stories of people using proven donors and the cycles are a bust. Just go with your heart and you'll make the right decision. Good Luck!!

06-18-2008, 09:42 PM	#5 (permalink)
mis3nenes 0-99 post 2 of hearts Join Date: May 2006 Location: CA Posts: 68	I'm sorry to hear your last DEIVF cycle ended in mc. I hope your next cycle brings you your baby We used a donor who had a child but had never cycled before and it worked out for us on the first try (x's 3 - we got pg w/ triplets). Our donor went on to donate to another couple on 2 separate cycles and both resulted in pregnancies. About a year after her last DE cycle she got pregnant and mc'd. Like a PP said it's hard to predict exactly what the outcome will be. Best of luck on your next cycle!

06-19-2008, 06:02 AM	#6 (permalink)
hoping2bmamaKat Guest Location: NY, US Posts: n/a Blog Entries: 37	Hi Diane -- If they can get FSH & AFC #s, it might give you some indication of her potential response to stims. My cousin who donated was 38, had a small child, and a twin sister who was pregnant at the time we did your cycle. We thought these were good indicators of fertility, and she had good #s, too -- and it turned out we were right. Wishing you the best whatever you decide! Kat

06-22-2008, 09:42 PM	#7 (permalink)
yaoming Registered User Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: texas Posts: 25	I liked my egg donor coordinator and although I researched a lot of agencies I first contacted the agencies my coordinator suggested.... after a couple of chases on donors I thought were right and then having them go with another couple the first agency I had contacted called me.... they had a donor in my city that matched my profile..... long story short.... I have a beautiful little boy..... everything that I was looking for came to me in a phone call....... besides the words on the profile I needed to feel the "safety" of someone else helping me find a match..... my coordinator loved my donor...... thought we were a good match and I needed to know that. I believe my confidence in selecting a donor that felt right helped me get pregnant with the fresh cycle.... I wish you the best.....

06-27-2008, 05:06 PM	#8 (permalink)
thebabyproject 1000-4999 post queen of hearts Join Date: Jul 2005 Location: South of Atlanta, GA Posts: 3,503 Blog Entries: 639	hey, honey. I'll just say this. All your buying with your DE egg money is a better chance. Not a guarantee, just a better chance, better odds horse in the TTC race. So, in the end, you just have to go with what feels right for you. BTW, your PM box is full. Emily

06-28-2008, 10:56 AM	#9 (permalink)
BC-MAV Board Coordinator for Surrogacy BB Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: way down yonder ... Posts: 29,651 Blog Entries: 50	Just wanted to add that we went with a donor that had NEVER cycled before, did NOT have children, and she was an ONLY child. Some of you may think "walk away~ not fertile" but she responded well to the meds and we got a bunch of eggs and embryos and our SM got pg the 1st try which resulted in our 2nd DS. Having donated or having had a child are not guarantees. I think you'll do just fine!