Leftover frozen embryos

**BC-MAV** · 04-16-2008, 10:14 AM

Anyone else in this situation? Are you donating to science? Destroying? Using an agency to match up with another couple who needs embryos?

Just wondering what others are doing in this situation. The ED has to sign a release that the embryos can be donated to another couple since the original intent was for us. ED trying to find the right couple through RE and agency. I can understand that she needs to feel comfortable with the couple and it can't just be anyone or a couple that just doesn't have money as that was our concern too. I guess we both want a couple with a story that is in true need. So we are waiting to see if ED likes any of the profiles that were sent so our embryos aren't in limbo. I don't want DH's genetics to go to just anyone nor does ED want hers to go to just anyone.

I'm sure ED's other couples donated to science or had embryos destroyed and may have not told anyone about the ED and they can do that without permission. But we just can't donate to science or destroy. These are potential babies. I think it's hard because we are probably the only couple that has excess that wants to donate so it's a 1st time situation for ED.

thanks for listening

bhk · 04-16-2008, 05:54 PM

BC Mav ~ I am not in the same situation (yet) but I did check into it with my RE's office before we started the process with them. My coordinator told me that most couples who use DE or DS typically donate their excess embryo's. (My RE's office also matches up donor embryo's.) However, she said that it is more rare for a couple to donate embryo's that did not need to use a donor. I'm not sure why....

Anyways, we wanted to make sure our RE's office allowed us to donate due to religious reasons. I already feel guilty doing IVF with DE but I couldn't live with myself if donation wasn't an option.

I don't have any advice for you.... I just want to say I admire you for trying to find a good home for your embryo's.

flexney · 04-24-2008, 04:16 PM

Hi Mav!!

As someone who has wonderful girl/girl twins thanks to the miracle of donated embryos, I would wish/hope (but not guide/ask/tell you ) that you and ED can find it in your hearts to donate, no matter what you have to do to find the "right" couple. We recently met our original donors (for anyone who doesn't 'know' me or our story, the embryos were created by a couple who had twins, the remainder donated to a second couple who also had twins and then donated to us.... and we had twins) in person and went to Disneyland with them. It was SO cool and wonderful to meet this incredibly generous person -- so cool that we are vacationing this summer with BOTH sets of donors and kids!!

Any way, my point is that if you wanted to, you could have another amazing branch of extended family, which is what we have now. Through the original donor and secondary one, I have two new sisters!

Good for you even considering this!!

**BC-MAV** · 04-25-2008, 11:44 AM

We are going through the surrogacy agency so there isn't a whole group of couples waiting since most couples doing surrogacy are using donor egg or donor sperm because they want some of their genetics. So there really isn't a pool of couples wanting donor embryos. The only couples that would need that would be ones that had tried donor egg and donor sperm and several surrogates and had not had a pregnancy for some unknown reason. The agencies that exclusively deal with donor embryos have such long forms to fill out. And I don't know how well you would really know the couples. At least with the agency the couple has a history of failures over years and they know the couple well.

04-16-2008, 10:14 AM	#1 (permalink)
BC-MAV Board Coordinator for Surrogacy BB Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: way down yonder ... Posts: 29,651 Blog Entries: 50	Leftover frozen embryos Anyone else in this situation? Are you donating to science? Destroying? Using an agency to match up with another couple who needs embryos? Just wondering what others are doing in this situation. The ED has to sign a release that the embryos can be donated to another couple since the original intent was for us. ED trying to find the right couple through RE and agency. I can understand that she needs to feel comfortable with the couple and it can't just be anyone or a couple that just doesn't have money as that was our concern too. I guess we both want a couple with a story that is in true need. So we are waiting to see if ED likes any of the profiles that were sent so our embryos aren't in limbo. I don't want DH's genetics to go to just anyone nor does ED want hers to go to just anyone. I'm sure ED's other couples donated to science or had embryos destroyed and may have not told anyone about the ED and they can do that without permission. But we just can't donate to science or destroy. These are potential babies. I think it's hard because we are probably the only couple that has excess that wants to donate so it's a 1st time situation for ED. thanks for listening Last edited by BC-MAV; 04-16-2008 at 10:31 AM.

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04-16-2008, 05:54 PM	#2 (permalink)
bhk 200-299 post 4 of hearts Join Date: Feb 2008 Posts: 265	BC Mav ~ I am not in the same situation (yet) but I did check into it with my RE's office before we started the process with them. My coordinator told me that most couples who use DE or DS typically donate their excess embryo's. (My RE's office also matches up donor embryo's.) However, she said that it is more rare for a couple to donate embryo's that did not need to use a donor. I'm not sure why.... Anyways, we wanted to make sure our RE's office allowed us to donate due to religious reasons. I already feel guilty doing IVF with DE but I couldn't live with myself if donation wasn't an option. I don't have any advice for you.... I just want to say I admire you for trying to find a good home for your embryo's.

04-24-2008, 04:16 PM	#3 (permalink)
flexney 10000-15000 post ace of hearts Join Date: May 2002 Location: Southern California Posts: 14,836 Blog Entries: 117	Hi Mav!! As someone who has wonderful girl/girl twins thanks to the miracle of donated embryos, I would wish/hope (but not guide/ask/tell you ) that you and ED can find it in your hearts to donate, no matter what you have to do to find the "right" couple. We recently met our original donors (for anyone who doesn't 'know' me or our story, the embryos were created by a couple who had twins, the remainder donated to a second couple who also had twins and then donated to us.... and we had twins) in person and went to Disneyland with them. It was SO cool and wonderful to meet this incredibly generous person -- so cool that we are vacationing this summer with BOTH sets of donors and kids!! Any way, my point is that if you wanted to, you could have another amazing branch of extended family, which is what we have now. Through the original donor and secondary one, I have two new sisters! Good for you even considering this!!

04-25-2008, 11:44 AM	#4 (permalink)
BC-MAV Board Coordinator for Surrogacy BB Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: way down yonder ... Posts: 29,651 Blog Entries: 50	We are going through the surrogacy agency so there isn't a whole group of couples waiting since most couples doing surrogacy are using donor egg or donor sperm because they want some of their genetics. So there really isn't a pool of couples wanting donor embryos. The only couples that would need that would be ones that had tried donor egg and donor sperm and several surrogates and had not had a pregnancy for some unknown reason. The agencies that exclusively deal with donor embryos have such long forms to fill out. And I don't know how well you would really know the couples. At least with the agency the couple has a history of failures over years and they know the couple well.