Question on psych evaluation

TreeHugger · 10-04-2007, 10:40 AM

Our next step in the DE process is a psych evaluation. Our clinic's DE coordinator said I mainly will be asked when and how we will tell our future child that s/he was conceived via DE.

Regardless of whether you think a child should be told or whether we choose to tell, isn't this every DE recipient's choice? If I said we don't yet have a plan, or we don't plan to tell unless a situation arises where we need to, would I "fail" the evaluation and not be allowed in the DE program?

Anyone have experience with this? Thanks for any input you may have.

Jennifer

tab11 · 10-04-2007, 12:00 PM

Treehugger,

Hopefully you won't be judged on whether or not you plan to tell your future child(ren). When we had our psych eval we told the therapist that at this time we don't intend on telling anyone, including the child(ren) that we used donor eggs. We told her that we know we may change our minds in the future, but for now that's where we stand. She completely accepted that. I did ask her about timing if we should decide to tell the child and she gladly discussed this issue further, but she didn't push any opinions on us as to *whether* we should tell or not.

I was told by our DE coordinator that the psych eval is basically to make sure that everyone is on the same page and that we really understand what we are doing.

Good luck with your appointment. Don't be afraid to be truthful about how you feel.

rb · 10-05-2007, 04:59 PM

Long time, no see. I would like to think that you will not be judged on your choice, but don't be afraid to lie, if the need arises. You are doing what is best for you and the child, so don't let anyone derail that due to some preconceived idea of how you should parent. It is OK to cheat to win.

Best Regards,

rb

10-06-2007, 10:17 AM

Hi Jen-
The psych eval isn't about judgment! The counselor wants to help you think things through to help prevent problems or complications down the line. Consider the counselor not as an authority figure but as an ally on your baby-making team!
Best,
Kat

Kylie · 10-06-2007, 02:29 PM

The counseling session or evaluation has nothing to do with disclosure. The person you meet with is just going to talk with you about the whole process/concept of using a donor gamete and how you feel about it/accept it. We used donor sperm, not eggs, but were required to have a counseling session before our first cycle. The counselor encouraged disclosure, but didn't push it on us or tell us it was the only thing to do. We are disclosing, but that was our own choice.

TreeHugger · 10-09-2007, 12:23 PM

Thanks, everyone, for your replies. I feel better about it. I'm obviously new to this and do not know what to expect.

'preciate it.

Jennifer

thebabyproject · 10-09-2007, 03:07 PM

Jen: It's really canned corn. Nothing to scary comes up in the counseling/evaluation for the recipients. The donor's is far more extensive.
I'm excited you're moving ahead.

Emily

10-04-2007, 10:40 AM	#1 (permalink)
TreeHugger 1000-4999 post queen of hearts Join Date: Oct 2006 Posts: 1,328	Question on psych evaluation Our next step in the DE process is a psych evaluation. Our clinic's DE coordinator said I mainly will be asked when and how we will tell our future child that s/he was conceived via DE. Regardless of whether you think a child should be told or whether we choose to tell, isn't this every DE recipient's choice? If I said we don't yet have a plan, or we don't plan to tell unless a situation arises where we need to, would I "fail" the evaluation and not be allowed in the DE program? Anyone have experience with this? Thanks for any input you may have. Jennifer

10-05-2007, 04:59 PM	#3 (permalink)
rb 200-299 post 4 of hearts Join Date: Oct 2006 Posts: 226	Hi TreeHugger Long time, no see. I would like to think that you will not be judged on your choice, but don't be afraid to lie, if the need arises. You are doing what is best for you and the child, so don't let anyone derail that due to some preconceived idea of how you should parent. It is OK to cheat to win. Best Regards, rb __________________ 100% Mothra Compatible

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10-04-2007, 12:00 PM	#2 (permalink)
tab11 300-399 post 5 of hearts Join Date: May 2007 Location: The West Posts: 395	Treehugger, Hopefully you won't be judged on whether or not you plan to tell your future child(ren). When we had our psych eval we told the therapist that at this time we don't intend on telling anyone, including the child(ren) that we used donor eggs. We told her that we know we may change our minds in the future, but for now that's where we stand. She completely accepted that. I did ask her about timing if we should decide to tell the child and she gladly discussed this issue further, but she didn't push any opinions on us as to whether we should tell or not. I was told by our DE coordinator that the psych eval is basically to make sure that everyone is on the same page and that we really understand what we are doing. Good luck with your appointment. Don't be afraid to be truthful about how you feel.

10-06-2007, 10:17 AM	#4 (permalink)
hoping2bmamaKat Guest Location: NY, US Posts: n/a Blog Entries: 37	Hi Jen- The psych eval isn't about judgment! The counselor wants to help you think things through to help prevent problems or complications down the line. Consider the counselor not as an authority figure but as an ally on your baby-making team! Best, Kat

10-09-2007, 12:23 PM	#6 (permalink)
TreeHugger 1000-4999 post queen of hearts Join Date: Oct 2006 Posts: 1,328	Thanks, everyone, for your replies. I feel better about it. I'm obviously new to this and do not know what to expect. 'preciate it. Jennifer

10-09-2007, 03:07 PM	#7 (permalink)
thebabyproject 1000-4999 post queen of hearts Join Date: Jul 2005 Location: South of Atlanta, GA Posts: 3,503 Blog Entries: 639	Jen: It's really canned corn. Nothing to scary comes up in the counseling/evaluation for the recipients. The donor's is far more extensive. I'm excited you're moving ahead. Emily