Donor Egg Recipients-- Happy??

[goodapples]

Hello,
I'm new to this board and am considering using donor eggs. I'm scared, torn, and feel unsure about his. ANY help from those of you who have used donor eggs? Any regrets? I'm afraid that I'll feel like a surrogate or like the baby is not my own. It would help to hear success stories! btw, I have one child already. Will I feel different about a DE baby? Thank you!!

[tab11]

goodapples,

You've come to the right place with your question. There are some on this board who have been lucky enough to have children with the help of donor eggs and/or donor sperm. I have never heard anyone claim anything other than joy and complete love for their children. I've never heard anyone voice regret over this decision. It's natural to have the feelings you have, especially in the beginning of your decision-making process. I felt the same way when we first started considering using donor eggs, but have come to be totally at peace with our decision.

I just finished a donor egg IVF cycle and will get results this week. My DH and I also already have a DD. I can say I am so excited at the prospect of having another child, and have no regrets or fears at this point. I'm thankful that we had this option, giving us a decent chance at having another child.

Good luck with your decision.

[goodapples]

Good luck tab11, I'll keep my fingers crossed for you!! I keep waffling on this issue, in the a.m. it looks grand-- and in the evening, I wonder what I'm thinking? I hope that others that have lived through this successfully will chime in and reassure that it is the "best decision that they've ever made." I cannot imagine loving my son anymore than I do, I want the same for my DE baby.

[Margarete Anne]

Some years ago in a new second marriage, and children from my first marriage, my dh and I decided that more than anything else we wanted to parent together...he had never had children in his first marriage. My RE felt I still had a chance with my eggs, but the better chance was with DE's. It only took us a few minutes of discussion to choose to go forward.......and, quite frankly the rest is history. From the moment we saw those little embryos under the microscope......they were mine and I was their mommy. I loved them more than I can even tell you......remember, I didn't say more than my other children.......I just loved them with a mother's fierce unconditional love. Today, they are gorgeous handsome boys......and I still love them, and my older children just as much. While DE is not for everyone, nor is choosing to be a mom in your 40's, it is the best decision that I have ever made. I would not change it for anything in the world.

Take some time to get quiet.....talk with your partner, and decide what is really the most important.....is it recreating your gene pool? Is it parenting together and experiencing the joy of influencing another little life? I am sure with a little reflection, you will make the decision that is right for your family.

You will be in my thoughts.

Margaret Anne

[goodapples]

Your post brought tears to my eyes-- what lucky children and husband you have! Thanks for taking the time to respond to me, I think I'm going to go for it! I can't imagine reflecting backward over my life and regretting that I didn't at least try.

I just wish this issue would come out of the closet and not make me feel so scary, bad about it. I read that there exist over 1 million DE babies in the world-- and yet people hide it. I guess we're a little ahead of the times of acceptance, although the technology is over 20 years old. (But I've never been one to let other people's opinions rule the day, either. )

[CrystalAZ]

Here's my story:

http://www3.fertilethoughts.com/foru...d.php?t=531291

And yes, I do hide it (not from family, but from others). Because there IS still negativity out there. But not just for DE. Some people are very against IVF in general. I ran into one of those once.

Crystal

[goodapples]

I read your story and Wyatt is beautiful! Congratulations!!


People have a problem with IVF in general?! Good grief. <roll eyes>

Okay, question for you: Do you tell your child's pediatrician? Or at other times to fill out medical information?

[CrystalAZ]

Originally Posted by goodapples

People have a problem with IVF in general?! Good grief. <roll eyes>

Okay, question for you: Do you tell your child's pediatrician? Or at other times to fill out medical information?

Yep - she was very offended and feels that IVF is "playing God". All you have to do is find an article on IVF on a general news site and you'll see everyone's comments about "some people just aren't meant to have children".

And yes, I told my child's pediatrician. Unless the donor has something in her medical history that is concerning, I don't think it is necessary though.

Lots of people tell me that Wyatt looks like me or has my red hair and I just say "thank you". Everyone doesn't need to know. Besides, who knows what part living in my body and growing off my tissues and drinking my milk plays in creating who he is? It certainly doesn't count for nothing.

Crystal

[goodapples]

Do you think about it a lot? Do you forget that you used a DE? Do you care at all? Given a choice to go back and use your own egg would you?

(Whoever is saying that stuff to you about IVF doesn't sound like anyone you need to be hanging out with! )

[goodapples]

Also,
There are a few excellent articles of recent that reflect the time in the womb very much forms the baby. Google "epigenetics" and Discovery magazine.