So if you've had children due to the decision to use a donor, please post your story!
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My story:
DH and I started ttc in January 2003. We tried for about 6 months before we talked to my OB. My periods were very irregular, so he put me on Clomid and I responded very well to it, ovulating regularly for the first time ever. But no pg. I tested every month for 8 months before we went back.
The OB suggested an HSG to check whether my tubes were open. I had it (ouch!!) and found out that my tubes were indeed closed. So the OB referred us to an RE down the street.
The RE said that IVF was our only option, so he tested my FSH (3.2) and DH's sperm (slightly low motility but definitely good enough) and we went forward.
After starting stims, we went in to check the follies. No matter how hard the RE looked, he couldn't find my ovaries. Finally, he found them - way up by my belly button! There were 22 follies, but unfortunately he had to cancel my cycle since there was no way to retrieve them.
I was heartbroken. He told me that it may be possible to do a laparoscopic retrieval but that he didn't have the equipment to do it. He did say that he could do a diagnostic lap to find out what was going on in there. We found that due to a surgery I had in 1993 to remove a large ovarian cyst, that my ovaries were pulled up and encased in intestines with scar tissue. He wasn't able to free them or to unblock my tubes.
So I went online and found an RE who said he could do a laparoscopic retrieval. We drove to Vegas to consult with him and when we got there, he hemmed and hawed and said "Welllll... *I* know how to do laparoscopic retrievals, but I don't have the equipment and my staff has never done one." So we had hit a roadblock again.
During a routine OB visit, my OB told me that a colleague of his just opened a clinic and that I should go talk to him. He told us that he could do another diagnostic surgery (open) and try to free the ovaries and move them down, OR we could go with donor eggs.
DH and I discussed it and since the surgery would possibly entail bowel reconstruction, we felt it was too dangerous to attempt. So after much heartache and grieving, I agreed to donor eggs. I was really sad at first, but then realized that this was a way to get to my goal of being a mother, and I would still be able to experience pregnancy and childbirth.
We used a donor agency recommended by the RE office and found a donor who looked somewhat like me, was smart, and most importantly to me, was doing it for more than the money.
The RE gave us an 80% chance of success, so we went forward happily anticipating a pregnancy. Then I was devastated when my beta came back "less than one".
We had 9 embies left, so we decided to do an FET. I was not as optimistic this time. We implanted 3 embies - 2 good ones and one that would have been discarded if we didn't implant it. I was shocked when my beta came back at 363! An ultrasound a couple weeks later confirmed that it was twins!
We were THRILLED! Then we went back for a third u/s after hearing the heart beats twice and found that one of the twins vanished. I was heartbroken AGAIN... yet still happy that the remaining twin was doing well.
The next few months were uneventful as I got sick, got sore boobs, and watched my tummy grow.
Then around 28 weeks, I started getting high blood pressure. It got worse and I was put on bed rest. Then it got WORSE and I stumbled into the hospital one night at 2AM with a blood pressure of 208/118.
After being air evaced to a better hospital, the high blood pressure turned into preeclampsia. I was told that it was a waiting game to see how far we could go before delivering. The baby was doing fine - it was all me.
Then on June 8, they gave me Cervidol to start softening my cervix. The baby didn't like that at all and his heart rate started decelerating every time I had a tiny contraction. They took the Cervidol back out and continued monitoring the baby.
At about 8AM on June 9, the doctor on call came in and strongly recommended a c-section since the baby's heart rate was still unstable. After a short discussion, DH and I agreed.
I was attacked by about 10 nurses and doctors, undressing me, dressing me, giving me shots, asking me questions... it was chaos! Then at 10:03 AM, my son Wyatt Douglas was born at 3 lbs 2 oz at 31 weeks 4 days. I was very groggy from meds but sighed with relief when I heard his cry.
I got to see him later that day and fell in love. He stayed in the NICU until July 6 - that was SO difficult.
Now, I am finally a mother. Nothing went the way I would have planned. Not my conception, not my eggs, not my pregnancy, and not the birth. But you know what? NONE of that matters. Not one bit. Because in the end, my dream came true. And when your dream comes true, the path you took to arrive there suddenly becomes SO unimportant.
My son is 100% mine. I never think about the donor (although I am eternally grateful for her contribution to us). He is mine. And I love him more than anything in the world.
See pics at Wyatt's page
Crystal
EV ** 
NA ** 
Notreallyme the fact that you got pg once is a really positive thing. At least you know that you can get pg that is really important. I have no doubt that you will get pg again. I know the pain is excruciating. But persistence is the key to your success. Keep the faith.
(edd 01/14/07)
