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Isabelle2006 · 08-08-2007, 07:17 AM

Hello.

I am 41, FSH 10, E2 79. I did 4 failed IUI's, then got pg on my second IVF with my DS. We decided to try again last year. Since then I have done 4 failed IVF's, we are out of insurance..etc.

We can continue to try to IVF on our own...however with 4 failed ones in a row...might be just spinning our wheels...or we can try donor eggs.

Can anyone help answer some questions:

1) What is the legal impact of the DE - can the donor come back at anypoint and ask for custody? Do they want pictures or keep in touch?

2) What happens if the donor produces likst 20 eggs - are they mine to keep - since I paid for the cycle?

3) How many will they transfer? On my last failed IVF they transfered 6 and still BFN...for the $25k+ they get...I would want at least 4 transferred..

Thanks for any help with these or anything else you can think of - this is a big decision.

Isabelle

thebabyproject · 08-08-2007, 07:23 AM

If you do anonymous donation, then no, no contact with the donor, she doesn't know who you are or even if it produced a pregnancy.

Unless you're doing a shared cycle, all the eggs are yours. Some programs offer a primary and a secondary recipient and the secondary recipient gets any eggs produced over a certain amount.

My RE is pretty seriously strict about transferring only 2. The embryos are those of a 20-something woman now and there's no reason to tempt multiples. And you can always do a frozen embryo transfer. Those are considered your embryos and are covered under IF insurance just as if those embryos came from your eggs.

Once the sperm hits the egg, the embryos are legally yours and no one else's. And if your DH dies or divorces you, your children are legally as much yours as his.

Two books that help are "having your baby through egg donation" and "Mommies, Daddies, Donors, Surrogates". I like Mommies/Daddies better than "having your baby" simply because I had already made my decision to go DE before I started reading it. The first deals more with making the decision and the second deals more with living with it.

Welcome to our little world.

Emily

Isabelle2006 · 08-08-2007, 07:55 AM

wow - you answered all my questions.

So I guess I have to see if the offer a shared program..I placed a call to set up a consulation.

Also - do you know success rates - my DR said 50%..but given that I have been pg - maybe higher because they know I can carry..etc.

Seems like so much money for a maybe BFP.

In a frozen transfer - then that is just the cost of a transfer..so like $1,500..hmm.. I wonder if they would put in just two and let me keep the others in case it fails..lot of questions..I guess i need to speak to the clinic,

Can you pick someone who has your background and do you get a medical background on them?

Also, what if the donor does not produce any good eggs - do you still pay..how do they pick the donors - do they need to be under a certain age and have a certain FSH...etc?

So many questions - thanks!

thebabyproject · 08-08-2007, 08:07 AM

I can send you my donor profile via email if you PM me an email address.

And yes, you can be as picky or as lenient as you want to be in locating a donor.

Emily

notreallyme · 08-08-2007, 08:43 AM

HI, Isabelle, I am using DE from my sister. I was pg with my first cycle but m/c around 6 weeks. So I going for it again in Sept. If I end up having to go to anonymous donor, I am letting my RE choose the in-house donor for me...although he really thinks we can get the job done with my sister.

Please keep us posted on what you choose to do.

Isabelle2006 · 08-08-2007, 08:55 AM

Good luck with your sister. That is great that you have someone close to you to do that. I don't - however looks like i need a consulation - I have so many questions..

Thanks!

thebabyproject · 08-08-2007, 08:59 AM

Donor profile sent.

now off to acupuncture(may as well if we're doing all the other) and to get my CPR certification.

See you this evening if you have questions.

emily

KNITWIT · 08-08-2007, 03:57 PM

Welcome Isabelle.

My Re's office has a shared risk program. This is expensive in that it is basically 4 full egg retreivals from the same donor or a new donor for the price of 2 retrievals.
The stats I heard were 60 -70% success rate with DE. Out of that there's a 20% early m/c rate.
So if your donor doesn't produce good quality eggs you can try again. THis does not count any of the FET from each retrieval.
If you stick around these boards long enough you'll see all sorts of arrangements from known donors to unknown. Also, you'll see how many of us started with a long list of demands of qualities that we wanted our donors to have...and then changed our focus and just wanted a baby....it's a process that everyone goes through in their own way...

KW

lakelivin · 08-08-2007, 06:53 PM

KW - I am also in GA, but I don't think my RE does shared risk... What clinic are you using?

Thanks -
lakelivin

Isabelle2006 · 08-09-2007, 11:25 AM

They told me that I pick the donor (never need to meet them) via a book. Then she is seen everyday until retrieval. If she produces a lot of eggs, I get them all - it is $25k.

That $25k includes all the transfers I want until I get pg with the left over frozen embies....assuming she produces a lot.

however if she produces none - then I just lose $25k - this is like vegas...they make no guarentees. Has anyone had a donor produce little or no eggs?

It seems like a good deal...if you can keep going back....

thoughts?

08-08-2007, 07:17 AM	#1 (permalink)
Isabelle2006 Registered User Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: New York Posts: 676	New to this Hello. I am 41, FSH 10, E2 79. I did 4 failed IUI's, then got pg on my second IVF with my DS. We decided to try again last year. Since then I have done 4 failed IVF's, we are out of insurance..etc. We can continue to try to IVF on our own...however with 4 failed ones in a row...might be just spinning our wheels...or we can try donor eggs. Can anyone help answer some questions: 1) What is the legal impact of the DE - can the donor come back at anypoint and ask for custody? Do they want pictures or keep in touch? 2) What happens if the donor produces likst 20 eggs - are they mine to keep - since I paid for the cycle? 3) How many will they transfer? On my last failed IVF they transfered 6 and still BFN...for the $25k+ they get...I would want at least 4 transferred.. Thanks for any help with these or anything else you can think of - this is a big decision. Isabelle

08-08-2007, 07:23 AM	#2 (permalink)
thebabyproject 1000-4999 post queen of hearts Join Date: Jul 2005 Location: South of Atlanta, GA Posts: 3,503 Blog Entries: 639	If you do anonymous donation, then no, no contact with the donor, she doesn't know who you are or even if it produced a pregnancy. Unless you're doing a shared cycle, all the eggs are yours. Some programs offer a primary and a secondary recipient and the secondary recipient gets any eggs produced over a certain amount. My RE is pretty seriously strict about transferring only 2. The embryos are those of a 20-something woman now and there's no reason to tempt multiples. And you can always do a frozen embryo transfer. Those are considered your embryos and are covered under IF insurance just as if those embryos came from your eggs. Once the sperm hits the egg, the embryos are legally yours and no one else's. And if your DH dies or divorces you, your children are legally as much yours as his. Two books that help are "having your baby through egg donation" and "Mommies, Daddies, Donors, Surrogates". I like Mommies/Daddies better than "having your baby" simply because I had already made my decision to go DE before I started reading it. The first deals more with making the decision and the second deals more with living with it. Welcome to our little world. Emily __________________ Severe MF w/SCSA 47% & DOR @ 32 DE IVF ICSI TESA#2 worked! Beta#1 3.5; Beta#2 13.8; Beta#3 58.6 Bethany Joyce born 5/16/08

08-08-2007, 08:07 AM	#4 (permalink)
thebabyproject 1000-4999 post queen of hearts Join Date: Jul 2005 Location: South of Atlanta, GA Posts: 3,503 Blog Entries: 639	I can send you my donor profile via email if you PM me an email address. And yes, you can be as picky or as lenient as you want to be in locating a donor. Emily __________________ Severe MF w/SCSA 47% & DOR @ 32 DE IVF ICSI TESA#2 worked! Beta#1 3.5; Beta#2 13.8; Beta#3 58.6 Bethany Joyce born 5/16/08

08-08-2007, 08:59 AM	#7 (permalink)
thebabyproject 1000-4999 post queen of hearts Join Date: Jul 2005 Location: South of Atlanta, GA Posts: 3,503 Blog Entries: 639	Donor profile sent. now off to acupuncture(may as well if we're doing all the other) and to get my CPR certification. See you this evening if you have questions. emily __________________ Severe MF w/SCSA 47% & DOR @ 32 DE IVF ICSI TESA#2 worked! Beta#1 3.5; Beta#2 13.8; Beta#3 58.6 Bethany Joyce born 5/16/08

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08-08-2007, 07:55 AM	#3 (permalink)
Isabelle2006 Registered User Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: New York Posts: 676	wow - you answered all my questions. So I guess I have to see if the offer a shared program..I placed a call to set up a consulation. Also - do you know success rates - my DR said 50%..but given that I have been pg - maybe higher because they know I can carry..etc. Seems like so much money for a maybe BFP. In a frozen transfer - then that is just the cost of a transfer..so like $1,500..hmm.. I wonder if they would put in just two and let me keep the others in case it fails..lot of questions..I guess i need to speak to the clinic, Can you pick someone who has your background and do you get a medical background on them? Also, what if the donor does not produce any good eggs - do you still pay..how do they pick the donors - do they need to be under a certain age and have a certain FSH...etc? So many questions - thanks!

08-08-2007, 08:43 AM	#5 (permalink)
notreallyme 200-299 post 4 of hearts Join Date: Jun 2007 Posts: 285	HI, Isabelle, I am using DE from my sister. I was pg with my first cycle but m/c around 6 weeks. So I going for it again in Sept. If I end up having to go to anonymous donor, I am letting my RE choose the in-house donor for me...although he really thinks we can get the job done with my sister. Please keep us posted on what you choose to do.

08-08-2007, 08:55 AM	#6 (permalink)
Isabelle2006 Registered User Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: New York Posts: 676	Good luck with your sister. That is great that you have someone close to you to do that. I don't - however looks like i need a consulation - I have so many questions.. Thanks!

08-08-2007, 03:57 PM	#8 (permalink)
KNITWIT Registered User Join Date: May 2006 Location: GEORGIA Posts: 155	Welcome Isabelle. My Re's office has a shared risk program. This is expensive in that it is basically 4 full egg retreivals from the same donor or a new donor for the price of 2 retrievals. The stats I heard were 60 -70% success rate with DE. Out of that there's a 20% early m/c rate. So if your donor doesn't produce good quality eggs you can try again. THis does not count any of the FET from each retrieval. If you stick around these boards long enough you'll see all sorts of arrangements from known donors to unknown. Also, you'll see how many of us started with a long list of demands of qualities that we wanted our donors to have...and then changed our focus and just wanted a baby....it's a process that everyone goes through in their own way... KW

08-08-2007, 06:53 PM	#9 (permalink)
lakelivin 100-199 post 3 of hearts Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: GA Posts: 169	KW - I am also in GA, but I don't think my RE does shared risk... What clinic are you using? Thanks - lakelivin

08-09-2007, 11:25 AM	#10 (permalink)
Isabelle2006 Registered User Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: New York Posts: 676	They told me that I pick the donor (never need to meet them) via a book. Then she is seen everyday until retrieval. If she produces a lot of eggs, I get them all - it is $25k. That $25k includes all the transfers I want until I get pg with the left over frozen embies....assuming she produces a lot. however if she produces none - then I just lose $25k - this is like vegas...they make no guarentees. Has anyone had a donor produce little or no eggs? It seems like a good deal...if you can keep going back.... thoughts?