Thinking about donating..... ch ment

[HAPPY2]

Hello -

I am thinking about donating.......is there anyone else out there that is on the fence with this too? (I hope this is the correct place to put this). Really, what I would like to do it have a shared cycle. I would love to have more children (I have 3 children) and I had a tubal ligation when I was 21. And yes, I have learned the error of my ways.

Back to what I was saying...I am considering it, but when you fill out the forms can you pick religion for the possible recipients? Please no one be offended, but I wouldn't want my embies to go to a non christian family. Also, I have red hair - what would the possibilities of someone picking me be (and I'm 27)? Although I have 2 blonds and a brunette (thanks to the hubby). Can anyone give me more information on this? Like I said I am on the fence and a little nervous. I know that it goes to the best cause whatsover, but I'm still nervous. (I wanted to do a shared cycle because I cannot afford IVF prices)

B.

You clinic might have a counselor on staff to help you think through donating/sharing a cycle. It might be a good idea to talk it through with a professional.

[notreallyme]

You should talk to whoever deals with donor cycles at your clinic.

An alternative would be for you to go through the cycle alone and then donate leftover embryos. You can definitely control who gets those.

I'd hesitate to do a shared cycle because you never know how many eggs you will get and the quality until you cycle. What if you get 20 eggs, give 10 to someone else and you don't end up with any blasts or you end up with only one. I'd give myself better odds and use my own eggs and then donate embryos later once you actually give birth to a healthy baby. You just never know what can happen.

[HAPPY2]

Thanks for the two replies. I cannot afford IVF so I couldn't do the cycle alone, although it is an excellent idea.

Is there anyone out there that is just starting to consider donating? Or maybe who has already donated (shared cycle) to tell me what your experience was?

B.

Hi happy2 -- you might want to check out:
http://www.surromomsonline.com
There are plenty of women there who can share experiences and offer support.

[BC-MAV]

You can always donate for another couple and the compensation fee you can use towards an IVF. It might not cover the whole IVF and meds but you may have leftover meds from an IVF if donating for another couple. I know I would have LOVED a "red headed" woman since my DH is red-headed-LOL! I am brunette and our ED was brunette and both our boys are blonde haired. We went through a few donors. One was married with 2 boys and was an experience proven donor who just wanted to know if her donations resulted in pregnancies and what the sex of the child was after they were born. She was open to a relationship. We met her and cycled but no children were born from her efforts via 2 SM's. Our other ED was a single only child who had never donated and just wanted to help another couple. We have several frozen embryos from her donation. She too was open to emailing, talking, and meeting. We met her and keep in touch via email occasionally and send pictures every so often. Her donation resulted in our 1st time SM getting pregnant and giving birth to 2nd DS.

If you want to "know" the couple in any way and you can chose how "open" you want that relationship to be I would suggest the agency we used to choose a donor. In the questionair there is a "what type of relationship if any would you like with the couple or child?" Some said they did not want to meet the couple (they have your picture and profile so there's plenty of info without meeting) and some said it's the couples baby and they would not want to meet the child. Others said they were open to meeting the couple and the child. It's up to you.

www.eggdonor.com

[HAPPY2]

Thank you everyone for your help. I think I will talk with the clinic here and see how things go. I really don't think that I would want to "know" the client other than the pre-screening process. I believe currently that whomever loves and takes care of the child is the true parent. My grandparents raised me and I know who my true parents are!

I wish all of you the best!
B.

[BC-MAV]

I am sure that the application or pre-screening process will let you know the religion of the couple since that was important to you that they are Christian and you will likely know the hair color with description of phsyical characterisitcs even if you do not get a picture and do not want to meet. Good luck!

[HAPPY2]

I posted the same thread on another site and someone who had donated responded and said that even with a shared cycle it would cost around 3k. Does this sound about right? I am less apprehensive about it now after thinking about it a little longer. And I would appreciate anyone who has donated and found a cheaper clinic other than Cooper.....

B.

[BC-donor]

There are lots of cheaper clinics besides Cooper, you just have to look around to see which clinics are near you. I've never donated, but I know that most clinics, if you do a shared cycle, the recipient couple pays for your retrieval costs, but I believe that you're responsible for your meds & your own transfer fees. It will still cost you several thousand dollars, but it would be a lot less than cycling on your own.

As far as you having red hair, some people could care less what the donor looks like & will take any one. Some are more picky, it depends on the person doing the choosing. You might be surprised at how quickly someone could choose you!

You'd be doing an amazing thing & I know that anyone would be the recipients would be more than grateful to you for your generosity!