My new RE is not only negative, but arrogant too!

[Danasingle]

Good griefness!

Remember my point-form note to the RE? Here is the opening response in his reply:

"Your questions could easily take me an hour or two to answer."

Was that his method of 'slapping my wrist for daring to write an email with questions? LOL

How ridiculous! Geeeesh! Anyway, then he takes I'm sure not more than five minutes to answer my questions.

The one I was most interested in:

44+ "of 10 eggs generated approximately 8 will be abnormal and will not create a healthy baby. If you had more than 10 mature follicles we may cancel the cycle."

Oh well, at least now I know more. Oh, and he never did answer how many antral follicles I had! LOL

[Annaandy]

I do hope you report him and change RE, I would never give anyone like that $$$ or my time, You are better than that!

[mama2one]

I swear some REs really do think they are God. Why in the world would the cancel a cycle if you had more than ten follicles. Ten mature follicles is a really good number. Did he want you to have more or less? That makes absolutely no sense.

I think I would find myself another RE with another clinic and then send him another e-mail telling him what a rude $%#@@$$#@ he was.

I've been through my share of nasty REs. Keep looking there has to be a better one out there.

[Loie]

I'm sorry that Mr. Fancy Pants has such an attitude. I wonder why he's in the field of making families at all. Sending a and some encouragement. Follow your heart.

Your next email should start with, "your attitude could send me into a diatribe that could easily take me an hour or two. So you just answer my questions and dispense with the attitude."

[BC-NanceLee]

But hey look at the bright side! He gave your eggs a 20% chance and my very nice, compassionate and respectful RE only gave mine a 5%!!!

[Danasingle]

Maria2,

"(wondered, actually, if you cc'd anyone else in the clinic just to make sure he responds... probably too aggressive an approach at this stage...)"

Ok, I guess I'm agressive then. LOL I left a message on reception's answering service that I had emailed the Dr. at his email address. He replied at 10:20 pm.

You know what, he obviously does not care what I think of him, so I don't feel a smidgen of distress at my following up by email. Heck, I'm a busy professional too---email is this quickest way to connect with me too!

Dana

Annaandy,
Thanks! I paid almost $300., just to have my donor sperm moved there, so I will ride out this cycle and see what happens.

Mama2One,
I may not have been clear that am having a donor IUI, so 10 mature follicles at trigger rather blows me away. At my former clinic, the RE gave me the talk of HOM's (I was 41). He said they had a 42 yr old woman conceive five babies with only 4 mature follicles showing at the pre-trigger u/s. He didn't say if she had BMS though.

Loie,
Your word choices crack me up! I don't know why Mr. Fancy Pants chose this field--would likely have made a better research scientist, eh? LOL It is HIS clinic he started!!!! Man, it would be fun if I had the personality that would send an email like you suggested............

Yeah, NanceLee! It is amazing, isn't it? Hmmmm. So that means if I have five mature follicles, he believes I will have one healthy baby. Awesome! On the other hand, I wonder if he is open to 10 mature follicles so that their clinic's stats will say they achieved pregnancy with a 44 yr old woman, not caring if I conceive twins or triplets.........It is sooooo easy to get cynical when dealing with medical 'professional' who are harried and overworked, isn't it?

Now my only problem is because the clinic assumed I knew to take the meds at night, I have to shift my body over from mid-day to evening. I wonder how that will affect the follicle development? Anyone know? Perhaps I'l check on the IUI board too.

Thank you again my friends!

Dana

[cs1984cs]

NanceLee, I'm with you I didn't even have a 5% with my own.

Dana, I am not sure it is attitude that you got in the email. I sent an email to my RE once with a whooping 20 questions which were not short answers. At the very top, I put that if it were too much to answer online, that I'd be happy to make an appointment to go over them with him. He requested I do so. He allocated the right amount of time and we went over all of them that day.

Regardless of the guy being a jerk last time. It's possible that he is under a lot of stress and short staffed (which I hear is common in CDN) If you're stuck with him, see if you can work with him and make peace. Email back to him that you want to set up an appointment to go over all the questions with him; he will know what to expect; ask if an hour appt would be enough.

Good luck,

CS

[Danasingle]

Thanks CS!

You make a good point. I did not make this clear with my brief quote above.

I asked eight yes or no questions on single lines in point form. Plus one question asking for clarification of what he meant by being on a Medication I need to have would affect my chances negatively. Our appt after the scan lasted a full five minutes. I do not feel I was presumptious to ask him these follow-up questions.

After our appt, I asked the nurse several of the questions when I bought my meds. (except what time of day to take the meds). She said to ask the RE.

At the only other IVF clinic I was at, any questions the nurse did not know, she checked with the RE and got back to me later in the day, or the next day. But I went in every day for b/w and they don't do that at this new clinic.

Dana

[Blondie8]

Dana we PM'd a few years ago, we're "local" to each other and were both on the TAL BB, I used use the username DeeR. Anyhow, it's so nice to see you around and to read of your latest efforts though Dr. Bonehead sounds like a piece of work. I'm in the "biz" here in the big city so might be able to help with the Doctor stuff, please PM me if I can help in any way. (Referrals, personality types, etc.)

Best of luck to you

[susan123]

Dana,

I'm sorry you have to deal with this, but I'm not surprised. I used to go to an "elite" clinic (out of town for me) and felt so strongly that I was such a number - no more and no less.

One example, I had to fly from out of town for an appointment one time. I was informed by the RE about the need of this appointment a week ahead, so it cost me an arm and a leg to buy the flight ticket. Once I got there, my name wasn't called by the nurse 2 hours after my appointment time. Then I was asked to strip waist down in the room, and I did just that. Then I sat there butt naked for another hour before the RE showed up because he was busy with other patients. I remember I actually wrapped myself with the paper thing they gave me, opened the door a little bit, and asked the nurse if the RE forgot about me... hehe...

I think all the good REs are so booked and they can't give each of us much time. It's so sad that there are so many people experiencing IF. I was kinda upset when it happened, but at the same time, I can kinda understand because I know how busy they are. As a matter of fact, when my RE showed up for that appointment super late at 2pm (appointment time 11am), he told me he hasn't had lunch. I'm not trying to excuse them, but I think they are sooo overworked.

I just hope all of us can get pregnant VERY SOON so that REs will no longer be overworked! How do you ladies like this idea?!

Baby dust to all!

Susan