Frozen Embryos donation after successful IVF

july · 09-20-2006, 11:26 AM

Has anyone donated their frozen embryos after successful IVF transfer and how are you living with your decision. What choices did you make that you are happy with or regret ?

I am interviewing families for an open donation and wow, this is hard.

Misty · 09-20-2006, 11:30 AM

Donated ours last year and very happy with the couple we choose, we felt they had many similarities to us. We were very happy to give another couple the chance to have children since our family is complete with our 28 mos old triplets.

Good luck to you,

**BC-MAV** · 09-20-2006, 11:37 AM

Misty, do you have contact with the couples that you donated your frozen embryos to?

Misty · 09-20-2006, 11:39 AM

No their FET was not successful

and we have had no further contact.

july · 09-21-2006, 06:24 AM

Please advise your thoughts on this subject, even if you are not in my position. I am really struggling with what to do with my frozen embryos. If I do donate them and the recipient is successful, will I always think of this child. Last night I was tucking in my son, he is 16 months, and I was thinking of my embryos and my decision. Will I always think of the baby I could have had ?

And how will the child feel as he is growing up ? Will I be judged for not keeping my embryos ? for not "wanting" them ? Will the people I donate to be good parents and have the dedication it requires to raise a child ?

What about visitation for the child in the future. If I were this child, I would want to meet my biological siblings, my biological parents, I would not want to struggle with finding these people.

Laenae · 09-21-2006, 01:13 PM

I know how you feel and I am not going to be of much help, as I am faced with the same dilemma. I have 6 embryos in the freezer. I am perplexed as what to do. I do not want to give them up for scientific purposes, i.e. stem cell research or the like. I believe that life begins at conception and that would seem unethical for me to do. To me it would be murder. That is just how DH and I feel about it. I do not want to discard my embryos because that in my mind would also be throwing away a life or lives. I don't know if I would want to donate to another couple because I would be thinking I have children out there some place and siblings for my children. Lastly, at 46, I am not sure I would want more children and most likely would not be going through further treatments. If I had it all again to do over again, I would have started to ttc a lot earlier in my 20's instead of my 30s. Parenting two little children in my mid-40's is by no means a piece of cake and very hard. I wish I had the patience and stamina I had when I was younger. While I would probably love another child, I do not know if I could handle the added stress that comes with it. I wish I weren't facing this situation. I have paid to cyropreserve for another year but I can't keep putting off a decision and paying $1,500 each year. I really do not know what to do. I do not by any means regret going through with DEIVF, however, I wish I didn't have any embies left over so that I would not be in this position.

Good luck in whatever decision you come to and may you find peace.

CrystalAZ · 09-21-2006, 01:59 PM

I hope we don't have to face this, but there are only so many choices:

1. Try another FET and use them and accept it whether it works or not.

2. Donate the embies to science

3. Donate the embies to another couple

4. Destroy the embies

Personally, I would not be able to do #2 or #4, so that leaves only 2 choices for me.

Either way, I would have to give the embies a CHANCE to grow.

Rather than think about how weird it would be to have another child out there, think about how happy you'd make someone who wasn't as lucky as you are in their IF struggles. And of course, you are giving a child a chance at life! That is never a wrong decision IMO.

Crystal

cs1984cs · 09-21-2006, 03:41 PM

I'm wrestling with the issue myself I don't know which of the option CrystalAZ listed I'm going to take if we have totsicles. I was told that embryos do not stay frozen and in perfect condition indefinitely; they deteriorate and are bound to "die" in cryo. Inaction is another option but it falls under the same category as destroying the embies in time.

Abilene · 09-22-2006, 09:05 AM

We were offered the same options by our RE in advance of the entire process and they wanted 2K now to isolate his sperm now six months before we get a donor. What is all this about? We are older and are more concerned just getting preg, and no one we know is in the age bracket to give them to that we know. We will use what we need and destroy the others. It's a very complicated ethical issue depending on your views. Good luck.

Abilene

mis3nenes · 09-22-2006, 09:17 AM

We're struggling with this issue too. We have 7 frozen embies. I'm hoping we'll try for one more baby in about a year. If that doesn't happen or if we still have some left over after that I think we will donate them to another couple. DH, our egg donor and I have all discussed donating them a another couple and feel it's best to give them a chance at life.

We would however want some level of communication with the potential parents because any kids conceived would be genetic siblings to our kids, and I think it's important for all the children to know about each other.

Still, it's difficult to think of someone else raising kids that could have been yours.

09-20-2006, 11:26 AM	#1 (permalink)
july Registered User Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: Pittsburgh Posts: 8	Frozen Embryos donation after successful IVF Has anyone donated their frozen embryos after successful IVF transfer and how are you living with your decision. What choices did you make that you are happy with or regret ? I am interviewing families for an open donation and wow, this is hard.

09-20-2006, 11:30 AM	#2 (permalink)
Misty 10000-15000 post ace of hearts Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: Ohio Posts: 20,775 Blog Entries: 247	Donated ours last year and very happy with the couple we choose, we felt they had many similarities to us. We were very happy to give another couple the chance to have children since our family is complete with our 28 mos old triplets. Good luck to you, __________________ MISTY~~14 IUIs and 2 IVFs Triplets born 5.10.04 @ 35wks EV NA AJ ** Please visit the triplet's personal webpage for the March of Dimes/March for Babies:

09-20-2006, 11:39 AM	#4 (permalink)
Misty 10000-15000 post ace of hearts Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: Ohio Posts: 20,775 Blog Entries: 247	No their FET was not successful and we have had no further contact. __________________ MISTY~~14 IUIs and 2 IVFs Triplets born 5.10.04 @ 35wks EV NA AJ ** Please visit the triplet's personal webpage for the March of Dimes/March for Babies:

09-21-2006, 01:13 PM	#6 (permalink)
Laenae 1000-4999 post queen of hearts Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: Blue State but Red State kind of Gal Posts: 2,497	I know how you feel and I am not going to be of much help, as I am faced with the same dilemma. I have 6 embryos in the freezer. I am perplexed as what to do. I do not want to give them up for scientific purposes, i.e. stem cell research or the like. I believe that life begins at conception and that would seem unethical for me to do. To me it would be murder. That is just how DH and I feel about it. I do not want to discard my embryos because that in my mind would also be throwing away a life or lives. I don't know if I would want to donate to another couple because I would be thinking I have children out there some place and siblings for my children. Lastly, at 46, I am not sure I would want more children and most likely would not be going through further treatments. If I had it all again to do over again, I would have started to ttc a lot earlier in my 20's instead of my 30s. Parenting two little children in my mid-40's is by no means a piece of cake and very hard. I wish I had the patience and stamina I had when I was younger. While I would probably love another child, I do not know if I could handle the added stress that comes with it. I wish I weren't facing this situation. I have paid to cyropreserve for another year but I can't keep putting off a decision and paying $1,500 each year. I really do not know what to do. I do not by any means regret going through with DEIVF, however, I wish I didn't have any embies left over so that I would not be in this position. Good luck in whatever decision you come to and may you find peace. __________________ Age 48/DH 44 - Married 23 yrs. K 02/19/00 (Clomid/C-Section) High Risk PG 12 IUIs/inject.; 6 IVFs; 1 FET; 1 M/C –Twins M 11/10/05 ~ High Risk PG - (C-Section) "Live a Good Life! And in the end, its not the years in a life that count...it's the life in your years!" Abraham Lincoln

VISIT OUR SISTER SITES:
JustMommies Pregnancy Calendar	eHarmony Advice Dating Advice	Project Wedding Wedding Songs	Weddingbee Wedding Blog

Currently Active Chat Room Users: 0 \| Scheduled Chat Room Events
	Users in Chat Rooms: No one's chatting right now!

09-20-2006, 11:37 AM	#3 (permalink)
BC-MAV Board Coordinator for Surrogacy BB Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: way down yonder ... Posts: 29,651 Blog Entries: 50	Misty, do you have contact with the couples that you donated your frozen embryos to?

09-21-2006, 06:24 AM	#5 (permalink)
july Registered User Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: Pittsburgh Posts: 8	Please advise your thoughts on this subject, even if you are not in my position. I am really struggling with what to do with my frozen embryos. If I do donate them and the recipient is successful, will I always think of this child. Last night I was tucking in my son, he is 16 months, and I was thinking of my embryos and my decision. Will I always think of the baby I could have had ? And how will the child feel as he is growing up ? Will I be judged for not keeping my embryos ? for not "wanting" them ? Will the people I donate to be good parents and have the dedication it requires to raise a child ? What about visitation for the child in the future. If I were this child, I would want to meet my biological siblings, my biological parents, I would not want to struggle with finding these people.

09-21-2006, 01:59 PM	#7 (permalink)
CrystalAZ 10000-15000 post ace of hearts Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: Phoenix AZ & Flagstaff, AZ Posts: 10,835 Blog Entries: 455	I hope we don't have to face this, but there are only so many choices: 1. Try another FET and use them and accept it whether it works or not. 2. Donate the embies to science 3. Donate the embies to another couple 4. Destroy the embies Personally, I would not be able to do #2 or #4, so that leaves only 2 choices for me. Either way, I would have to give the embies a CHANCE to grow. Rather than think about how weird it would be to have another child out there, think about how happy you'd make someone who wasn't as lucky as you are in their IF struggles. And of course, you are giving a child a chance at life! That is never a wrong decision IMO. Crystal

09-21-2006, 03:41 PM	#8 (permalink)
cs1984cs Registered User Join Date: May 2006 Posts: 2,198	I'm wrestling with the issue myself I don't know which of the option CrystalAZ listed I'm going to take if we have totsicles. I was told that embryos do not stay frozen and in perfect condition indefinitely; they deteriorate and are bound to "die" in cryo. Inaction is another option but it falls under the same category as destroying the embies in time.

09-22-2006, 09:05 AM	#9 (permalink)
Abilene 200-299 post 4 of hearts Join Date: Dec 2004 Posts: 234	We were offered the same options by our RE in advance of the entire process and they wanted 2K now to isolate his sperm now six months before we get a donor. What is all this about? We are older and are more concerned just getting preg, and no one we know is in the age bracket to give them to that we know. We will use what we need and destroy the others. It's a very complicated ethical issue depending on your views. Good luck. Abilene

09-22-2006, 09:17 AM	#10 (permalink)
mis3nenes 0-99 post 2 of hearts Join Date: May 2006 Location: CA Posts: 68	We're struggling with this issue too. We have 7 frozen embies. I'm hoping we'll try for one more baby in about a year. If that doesn't happen or if we still have some left over after that I think we will donate them to another couple. DH, our egg donor and I have all discussed donating them a another couple and feel it's best to give them a chance at life. We would however want some level of communication with the potential parents because any kids conceived would be genetic siblings to our kids, and I think it's important for all the children to know about each other. Still, it's difficult to think of someone else raising kids that could have been yours.