2 - hpts (vent)

Julie_MA · 08-10-2006, 05:40 AM

Hi everyone, I'm much more of a lurker on this bb than a poster, though, I do post occasionally. I'm feeling really down today and was hoping for some kind words to get me through. I'm currently in the 2ww for diui #3 (beta is on Sat. 8/12). I POAS last night 11dpo and again this a.m. and got a GLARING neg. both times, not even a hint of a second line. I've gone into self preservation mode and am trying to prepare myself for the official bad news on Sat. Dh and I have been through so much of this cr*p already (ttc. 7 yrs, 2 iui, 6 ivfs, 3 diui, 2 chem. 1 blighted ovum, 1 m/c @ 8 wks--and still NO BABY!!) as I'm sure most of you here have. I was so hopeful for this cycle and now I'm just feeling so defeated and so so so sick of being on the losing end of IF!!

Thanks for letting me vent.

Julie

cs1984cs · 08-10-2006, 07:07 AM

Julie_MA

I cannot say I have been through what you have been through; my heart goes out to you. I just want to say that those ept's are not as sensitive as the test you will be doing at the doc and especially not at the end of the 2ww. We're only human. Keep hope and relax, enjoy something you love doing; keep your mind busy away from negative thoughts.

Keep us posted and best wishes

CrystalAZ · 08-10-2006, 08:56 AM

I am right there with you. My transfer was 7/31 and my beta is also Saturday. I started POAS on 8dp3dt. It is now 11dp, and still -.

I am trying not to put too much stock into the HPTs. I know it is still early. But if the one I do Saturday morning is -, I'll prepare myself for the bad news.

Still, there are LOTS of stories on here about - HPTs on the morning of beta and + betas.

Deno over on the IVF board didn't get a + on the HPTs until a couple days after her + beta.

So DON'T give up! It isn't even almost over yet!

Come back tomorrow morning and we'll report if our HPTs are still negative. Then on Saturday, we can share our BFPs with each other!

Crystal

Julie_MA · 08-10-2006, 03:58 PM

cs1984cs and Crystal, Thank you guys so much for your responses. Our families know about our IF problem but, they don't know about our using ds and we don't tell them when we are cycling so your support at this point really means so much to me.

cs-thanks for the well wishes and the little huggie guys!! I did try to keep myself busy today. I went into my classroom and did some organizing to prepare for the upcoming school year...not necessarily something I enjoy but, it was quiet, no one bothered me and it was better than sitting at home wallowing in self pity.

Crystal-OMG, you're so much better at this than I am. I feel like I'm being so sour compared to you. You've given me a glimmer of hope. Secretly, down deep deep inside I'm still hoping for a miracle but, I don't feel pg. at all and my brain keeps telling me, "NO". I must be a glutton for punishment because I went out and bought MORE hpts today(stupid, huh?)!!! This time I just bought the cheapies from the Dollar Store. Will test again tomorrow. Hoping and praying for ++++ for both of us!!

Thanks again for the supportive and inspiring words ladies! I REALLY needed them!
Julie

CrystalAZ · 08-10-2006, 04:38 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Julie_MA

Crystal-OMG, you're so much better at this than I am. I feel like I'm being so sour compared to you. You've given me a glimmer of hope. Secretly, down deep deep inside I'm still hoping for a miracle but, I don't feel pg. at all and my brain keeps telling me, "NO". I must be a glutton for punishment because I went out and bought MORE hpts today(stupid, huh?)!!! This time I just bought the cheapies from the Dollar Store. Will test again tomorrow. Hoping and praying for ++++ for both of us!!

I wouldn't say that! I bought more today too, but I went for the FR, since they are supposed to be "the best".

And I am feeling anxious and wishing I could see a + so I could breathe a little!!!!

I don't feel pg either, but from what I hear that doesn't mean much. There just isn't enough going on in there yet to feel it.

Oh and I am 10dpt, not 11. I caught myself saying 11 on another post too.

Anyway, it definitely isn't over! I will also be hoping for BIG OL' +++++++ for both of us on Saturday!

When do you find out? My RE's office makes the calls around noon AZ time. That four hours will be a killer (unless of course I get a + on the HPT tomorrow!!!! LOL)

Crystal

GinaB · 08-11-2006, 04:27 AM

Hi Julie,

I remember you from the bb's last fall when you were doing diui, and got a bfp. I'm sorry for your loss at 8 weeks.

I'm glad to see you and your dh are cycling again, even though its an emotional roller coaster. I also wanted to say, to hang in there and dont give up hope yet for this cycle. In December, I began to POAS about 11-12dpo. I got all bfn's. It made me miserable, and I felt for sure that cycle was a bust. For the remainder of the week I felt for sure we werent pg. Dh convinced me to wait and test until the day of my beta. When the day came to test I was positive it would be negative, and after POAS I made dh look at the test window. I was too nervous. We did get a bfp. So please don't give up, ok?
I'm going to keep my fingers crossed for tommorrow, which I believe is when you have your beta. Keep us posted!

Julie_MA · 08-11-2006, 06:27 AM

Crystal - Well I got another - today so, although I'm still praying for a miracle, the only thing that I'm really preparing myself for is ugly ol' AF. I really hope you did better today and that you will get a nice beta number tomorrow. My clinic doesn't really call back by certain time. I've gotten calls as early as 10:30 and as late as around 3:00. It seems they usually call the BFNs after all the BFPs so the later that call comes in the worse the outlook. Hang in there, you have a wonderful attitude and that will pay off for you. Let me know how you did today. I'm keeping my fingers crossed and praying for a BFP for you!!!

Gina - OMG sooo nice to hear from you!! How are you doing? You must be very close to you EDD by now. Thanks for the support, I truly appreciate it!! I still feel a connection to the other girls that I was pg. with, even if just for a brief period of time. In some ways that's what makes this cycle so difficult. I have cycled twice since then and always said that if I were pg. again on my EDD (8/15) then I would be ok. That's why the timing of this s*cks, now I'm going to be coming off yet another bfn cycle and facing that due date at the same time. Urgh! But enough about me, please update on how you are doing.

Thanks girls,
Julie

CrystalAZ · 08-11-2006, 08:55 AM

Another - for me today too.

Crystal

cs1984cs · 08-11-2006, 10:14 AM

Ladies, you are torturing yourselves. I believe the HPTs can only detect a pg if you "score" 25. I believe it says so on the box. Correct me if I'm wrong, I don't have one handy right now.

As per this link which I posted yesterday on a new thread: http://www.birth.com.au/class.asp?class=6620&page=8

If you look at the table, it shows that even after the 21st day after conception, you could be as low as 18 for a singleton. At least that's what I read into it. If that's the case, those HPTs are only going to mess with your mind. I can relate, it's hard to wait, but don't put any stock into those sticks.

GinaB · 08-11-2006, 11:17 AM

Julie,

I knew your EDD was before mine, but didnt realize it was the 15th, which is coming up. I'm sorry, I know it makes it that much harder if this cycle turns out to be a bfn. I've been thinking of you today and sending good vibes your way. For these past cycles that you did iui, have you used the same donor as last time, when you got your bfp? and if my memory is correct I think you went with Xytex?? Have you and dh thought about switching donors and/or banks? The positive is that you did acheive a pg before so it can happen again

I'm confident its a matter of time

I'm hanging in there. My EDD is 8/26..hoping to go sooner. I've had a good, smooth pg so far. (We are having a girl.) Went to the OB Tuesday and am dilated to almost 2, so I'm hoping she makes her debut before the 26th! Its nice to see dh excited about this baby. He cant wait until she is here, and has been very involved with the pg, taking the prenatal classes etc. We're planning on trying for #2 sometime in the spring. We both arent getting any younger! I'm 32 and dh is 35. And who knows how many attempts it will take, we have 5 vials left at our RE's office. If it takes more than 5 attempts we have to chose a new donor. Unfortunately, our donor is no longer in the program...so we're really hoping we can make it with the 5 we have.

Take care of yourself ok? and let me what happens with this cycle.

Gina

08-10-2006, 05:40 AM	#1 (permalink)
Julie_MA Registered User Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: Massachusetts Posts: 255	2 - hpts (vent) Hi everyone, I'm much more of a lurker on this bb than a poster, though, I do post occasionally. I'm feeling really down today and was hoping for some kind words to get me through. I'm currently in the 2ww for diui #3 (beta is on Sat. 8/12). I POAS last night 11dpo and again this a.m. and got a GLARING neg. both times, not even a hint of a second line. I've gone into self preservation mode and am trying to prepare myself for the official bad news on Sat. Dh and I have been through so much of this crp already (ttc. 7 yrs, 2 iui, 6 ivfs, 3 diui, 2 chem. 1 blighted ovum, 1 m/c @ 8 wks--and still NO BABY!!) as I'm sure most of you here have. I was so hopeful for this cycle and now I'm just feeling so defeated and so so so sick of being on the losing end of IF!! Thanks for letting me vent. Julie Last edited by Julie_MA; 08-10-2006 at 05:43 AM.*

08-10-2006, 03:58 PM	#4 (permalink)
Julie_MA Registered User Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: Massachusetts Posts: 255	Thank you cs1984cs and Crystal, Thank you guys so much for your responses. Our families know about our IF problem but, they don't know about our using ds and we don't tell them when we are cycling so your support at this point really means so much to me. cs-thanks for the well wishes and the little huggie guys!! I did try to keep myself busy today. I went into my classroom and did some organizing to prepare for the upcoming school year...not necessarily something I enjoy but, it was quiet, no one bothered me and it was better than sitting at home wallowing in self pity. Crystal-OMG, you're so much better at this than I am. I feel like I'm being so sour compared to you. You've given me a glimmer of hope. Secretly, down deep deep inside I'm still hoping for a miracle but, I don't feel pg. at all and my brain keeps telling me, "NO". I must be a glutton for punishment because I went out and bought MORE hpts today(stupid, huh?)!!! This time I just bought the cheapies from the Dollar Store. Will test again tomorrow. Hoping and praying for ++++ for both of us!! Thanks again for the supportive and inspiring words ladies! I REALLY needed them! Julie

08-11-2006, 10:14 AM	#9 (permalink)
cs1984cs Registered User Join Date: May 2006 Posts: 2,198	Ladies, you are torturing yourselves. I believe the HPTs can only detect a pg if you "score" 25. I believe it says so on the box. Correct me if I'm wrong, I don't have one handy right now. As per this link which I posted yesterday on a new thread: http://www.birth.com.au/class.asp?class=6620&page=8 If you look at the table, it shows that even after the 21st day after conception, you could be as low as 18 for a singleton. At least that's what I read into it. If that's the case, those HPTs are only going to mess with your mind. I can relate, it's hard to wait, but don't put any stock into those sticks. Last edited by cs1984cs; 08-11-2006 at 10:17 AM.

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08-10-2006, 07:07 AM	#2 (permalink)
cs1984cs Registered User Join Date: May 2006 Posts: 2,198	Julie_MA I cannot say I have been through what you have been through; my heart goes out to you. I just want to say that those ept's are not as sensitive as the test you will be doing at the doc and especially not at the end of the 2ww. We're only human. Keep hope and relax, enjoy something you love doing; keep your mind busy away from negative thoughts. Keep us posted and best wishes

08-10-2006, 08:56 AM	#3 (permalink)
CrystalAZ 10000-15000 post ace of hearts Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: Phoenix AZ & Flagstaff, AZ Posts: 10,836 Blog Entries: 455	I am right there with you. My transfer was 7/31 and my beta is also Saturday. I started POAS on 8dp3dt. It is now 11dp, and still -. I am trying not to put too much stock into the HPTs. I know it is still early. But if the one I do Saturday morning is -, I'll prepare myself for the bad news. Still, there are LOTS of stories on here about - HPTs on the morning of beta and + betas. Deno over on the IVF board didn't get a + on the HPTs until a couple days after her + beta. So DON'T give up! It isn't even almost over yet! Come back tomorrow morning and we'll report if our HPTs are still negative. Then on Saturday, we can share our BFPs with each other! Crystal

08-11-2006, 04:27 AM	#6 (permalink)
GinaB 900-999 post jack of hearts Join Date: Jun 2005 Location: Michigan Posts: 937	Hi Julie, I remember you from the bb's last fall when you were doing diui, and got a bfp. I'm sorry for your loss at 8 weeks. I'm glad to see you and your dh are cycling again, even though its an emotional roller coaster. I also wanted to say, to hang in there and dont give up hope yet for this cycle. In December, I began to POAS about 11-12dpo. I got all bfn's. It made me miserable, and I felt for sure that cycle was a bust. For the remainder of the week I felt for sure we werent pg. Dh convinced me to wait and test until the day of my beta. When the day came to test I was positive it would be negative, and after POAS I made dh look at the test window. I was too nervous. We did get a bfp. So please don't give up, ok? I'm going to keep my fingers crossed for tommorrow, which I believe is when you have your beta. Keep us posted!

08-11-2006, 06:27 AM	#7 (permalink)
Julie_MA Registered User Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: Massachusetts Posts: 255	Crystal - Well I got another - today so, although I'm still praying for a miracle, the only thing that I'm really preparing myself for is ugly ol' AF. I really hope you did better today and that you will get a nice beta number tomorrow. My clinic doesn't really call back by certain time. I've gotten calls as early as 10:30 and as late as around 3:00. It seems they usually call the BFNs after all the BFPs so the later that call comes in the worse the outlook. Hang in there, you have a wonderful attitude and that will pay off for you. Let me know how you did today. I'm keeping my fingers crossed and praying for a BFP for you!!! Gina - OMG sooo nice to hear from you!! How are you doing? You must be very close to you EDD by now. Thanks for the support, I truly appreciate it!! I still feel a connection to the other girls that I was pg. with, even if just for a brief period of time. In some ways that's what makes this cycle so difficult. I have cycled twice since then and always said that if I were pg. again on my EDD (8/15) then I would be ok. That's why the timing of this s*cks, now I'm going to be coming off yet another bfn cycle and facing that due date at the same time. Urgh! But enough about me, please update on how you are doing. Thanks girls, Julie

08-11-2006, 08:55 AM	#8 (permalink)
CrystalAZ 10000-15000 post ace of hearts Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: Phoenix AZ & Flagstaff, AZ Posts: 10,836 Blog Entries: 455	Another - for me today too. Crystal

08-11-2006, 11:17 AM	#10 (permalink)
GinaB 900-999 post jack of hearts Join Date: Jun 2005 Location: Michigan Posts: 937	Julie, I knew your EDD was before mine, but didnt realize it was the 15th, which is coming up. I'm sorry, I know it makes it that much harder if this cycle turns out to be a bfn. I've been thinking of you today and sending good vibes your way. For these past cycles that you did iui, have you used the same donor as last time, when you got your bfp? and if my memory is correct I think you went with Xytex?? Have you and dh thought about switching donors and/or banks? The positive is that you did acheive a pg before so it can happen again I'm confident its a matter of time I'm hanging in there. My EDD is 8/26..hoping to go sooner. I've had a good, smooth pg so far. (We are having a girl.) Went to the OB Tuesday and am dilated to almost 2, so I'm hoping she makes her debut before the 26th! Its nice to see dh excited about this baby. He cant wait until she is here, and has been very involved with the pg, taking the prenatal classes etc. We're planning on trying for #2 sometime in the spring. We both arent getting any younger! I'm 32 and dh is 35. And who knows how many attempts it will take, we have 5 vials left at our RE's office. If it takes more than 5 attempts we have to chose a new donor. Unfortunately, our donor is no longer in the program...so we're really hoping we can make it with the 5 we have. Take care of yourself ok? and let me what happens with this cycle. Gina