Advice and experience on using different Donors

isellki · 08-07-2006, 05:10 AM

I wanted to ask about having to use different sperm donors to create your family.
We have one more try at TESE/IVF/ICSI then we will move on to DIUI. I live in Switzerland and there is a shortage of donors so we would probably have to use a different donor each time. My husband and I are fine with going forward with donor sperm but I'm not so happy about using different donors to create a family.
I'm catholic so maybe it’s a moral issue on my part, I just don't know.
How do other people feel about this?
And how does it work in practice? Do siblings bond in the same way?
Any thoughts on this or personal experiences would be greatly appreciated.
Isell

JenNelll · 08-07-2006, 05:49 AM

Isell, same problem here in Africa, not many donors. I have had to use a different donor each time , although I still have no children. My view is that as long as the donors have some of the same characteristics it should be fine, I choose all mine to look like my DH. I have seen children that were adopted from totally different parents, but because they were adopted very young, they bonded the same as biological siblings, so I really don't think the different donors would be a problem there!
I was also wondering if you get to order the number of straws of donor sperm that you want. I always order enough for a few cycles...then maybe if I have a child I will have enough sperm left over to use for the sibling. My clinic stores the donor sperm for me, and I have often kept it there for more than a year!
Hope all this helps,
Jen

harmankar · 08-07-2006, 09:57 AM

Isellki. Where in Switzerland? I live in Geneva. I'm thinking of going to Ukraine to do this. (donor embryo's due to my age.)

Quote:

Originally Posted by isellki

I wanted to ask about having to use different sperm donors to create your family.
We have one more try at TESE/IVF/ICSI then we will move on to DIUI. I live in Switzerland and there is a shortage of donors so we would probably have to use a different donor each time.
Isell

maria2 · 08-07-2006, 10:44 AM

Hey there - see my post below regarding my children. Parenting them is of course a looooong term project so who knows what will happen in the future, but so far we just couldn't be more tickled w/ how the different donor scenario has worked out. They are great pals, get along really well, and they're totally different, (as are most every full blood related siblings I know!) I am also catholic though my husband is not. There are as many ways to look at this in a catholic/moral way as there are ways to look at all other life issues, I think. I go with the belief that God sends us the children we were meant to have. I'm happy to answer any other specific questions!
-maria2
mom to David 4.5 yrs and Katie 23 mo.

08-07-2006, 05:10 AM	#1 (permalink)
isellki Registered User Join Date: Aug 2005 Location: Switzerland Posts: 135	Advice and experience on using different Donors I wanted to ask about having to use different sperm donors to create your family. We have one more try at TESE/IVF/ICSI then we will move on to DIUI. I live in Switzerland and there is a shortage of donors so we would probably have to use a different donor each time. My husband and I are fine with going forward with donor sperm but I'm not so happy about using different donors to create a family. I'm catholic so maybe it’s a moral issue on my part, I just don't know. How do other people feel about this? And how does it work in practice? Do siblings bond in the same way? Any thoughts on this or personal experiences would be greatly appreciated. Isell __________________ Isell 31 DH 31 - Together 13 years-Married 2 years 6 months 1st - ICSI - bfn 12/23 . 1st - FET - bfn 2/27 . 2nd - FET - bfn 5/17 Waiting for DH app for 2nd TESE - Cycling in October Either IVF/ICSI or DIUI My blog to record my infertility journey

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08-07-2006, 05:49 AM	#2 (permalink)
JenNelll Registered User Join Date: Jun 2005 Location: Zimbabwe Posts: 288	Isell, same problem here in Africa, not many donors. I have had to use a different donor each time , although I still have no children. My view is that as long as the donors have some of the same characteristics it should be fine, I choose all mine to look like my DH. I have seen children that were adopted from totally different parents, but because they were adopted very young, they bonded the same as biological siblings, so I really don't think the different donors would be a problem there! I was also wondering if you get to order the number of straws of donor sperm that you want. I always order enough for a few cycles...then maybe if I have a child I will have enough sperm left over to use for the sibling. My clinic stores the donor sperm for me, and I have often kept it there for more than a year! Hope all this helps, Jen

08-07-2006, 10:44 AM	#4 (permalink)
maria2 Registered User Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: Oregon Posts: 477	Hey there - see my post below regarding my children. Parenting them is of course a looooong term project so who knows what will happen in the future, but so far we just couldn't be more tickled w/ how the different donor scenario has worked out. They are great pals, get along really well, and they're totally different, (as are most every full blood related siblings I know!) I am also catholic though my husband is not. There are as many ways to look at this in a catholic/moral way as there are ways to look at all other life issues, I think. I go with the belief that God sends us the children we were meant to have. I'm happy to answer any other specific questions! -maria2 mom to David 4.5 yrs and Katie 23 mo.