New Here, any help would be appreciated

[daisyadair]

Hi all- I am new to this entire world so please forgive me if I sound stupid or I don't understand all the terms. With that here's my short story- I am here because of my best friend-she tried for a long while to get pregnant and it never happened, she went to the doctor and found out that because she so much scarring on her ovaries from the removal of cysts, the ovaries were no longer functioning.(i think that's right). I moved overseas to europe without knowing a single person(not military), and i met coleen-she took me under her wing and helped me through everything about living there and mostly her friendship was the most important thing I needed being so far away from your family and friends(not to mention your home). It was definately a chance meeting(only because I parked my car in a garage in luxembourg-without realizing that thay all had the same name-there is about 20 of them) I was panicked and scared and had no clue what to do, I was sitting down crying she came over to me and asked what was wrong-I told her, and she helped me find the car instantly. I therefor dubbed her as my guardian angel. So back up to date-I watched her go through this whole process over and over again-it was literally killing her heart and spirit-nothing I could've ever done or said would console her. I felt worthless, they used a donor egg and did IVF 5 times before she finally got pregnant. She was so excited!!Iwas excited!! I was always a little shy about asking her questions about the way she got pregnant-using someone else's egg. But after the baby was born(adorable little guy and healthy with the best parents he could ever ask for). after, i talked to her about it(thought it would be easier post child) she told me about egg donors and sperm donors and all the surrogacy programs. I guess I really never thought about it, just assumed It was pretty rare. I know better now. What that egg did for Coleen is what I call nothing short of a miracle. I couldn't imagine not being able to have children, and she the same. That donation changed her life forever, and I can't stop thinking about it. She has a baby, a family-her dream come true to use a cliche. So that's why I am here- because of Patrick(her son). A little perfect human being that makes your heart melt-I want to give someone their Patrick. To me it is right now something that my body throws away each month, but for her and others it's a life. She went through the process overseas so I really can't use her resources. I have just moved back from Europe this year with my husband and we chose to live where his family is(NE) and me being from LA-I don't know much about what is here. I don't know really where to go for info, I try searching on-line but so many things are confusing about it. If anyone can offer any advice, help or point me in the right direction I would be greatful. Thank you for reading my post, and I hope to stick around for a long while.

[karenandeva]

The best way to become a donor would be to contact a fertility clinic in your area, they will have a list of donor agencies that they use. The usual compensation for a donor is between $4000 to $6000. You will have to go through a couple of months of testing, blood work, medical history, psych exam, etc. Thank you for being so generous, it is because of people like you that us "egg challenged" woman can still have the babies we dream of!

Karen (in the process of egg donor cycle, started lupron today!!!!)

[daisyadair]

looked into a few of those agencies-I am not really in agreement of charging someone that much money just because this is so important to all of us-to have children. I believe they exploit the situation-they may have compassion and truly do goood work and want to help, but 5000$ for egg? I know it is immeasurable monetarily wise to those who cannot conceive, but that is why I want to do this-it's not for money, so I guess I'm looking for other alternatives.

[BC-donor]

Welcome to Fertile Thoughts! I have to say that I commend you on not agreeing with accepting so much money for a "donation". You're right, it's an absolutely amazing thing that you will be giving a couple & your heart is absolutely in the right place for doing this!!

I would recommend calling RE's in your area & asking if they have a donor egg program. Some RE's will have their own "pool" of donors for couples to choose from & they compensate the donors between $1,200- 2,000 for the donation- which makes it MUCH more affordable for a couple to be able to move on to DE, while still compensating you for your time & effort!

One thing that some potential donors don't think about when they eagerly accept $5,000+ for a donation is that the couple looking for a donor has most likely already spent a fortune on trying on their own. Then having to make the move to donor eggs is an even bigger jump in cost. If someone uses an agency, they can expect to easily spend $10,000 or more for JUST the agency/donor!!! Then you add on the cost of the actual IVF itself.

You are truly a gem. Any couple will be lucky to have someone like you for a donor.

Let us know if we can help you in any way!

[karenandeva]

Just some more info:
Our donor egg cycle cost us a little under $25,000. The $5000 donor compensation is only a small portion of our total expence. Even though this is so expensive, it is worth it in the long run if we get pregnant. I think the donor deserves every penny of this reimbursement. I've gone through 3 IVF cycles, and it is not fun. I'm thankful every day for our donor being willing to go through this with us. Hopefully, she will stim enough to give us 15-25 eggs, so we might have more than one attempt, or a chance at more than one child. I commend you for wanting to be so generous, but don't forget, you deserve this compensation!!!
Karen

[Drawdy]

Hello,
I never thought I would be in a position to consider an egg donor but I think it will soon be my only option. I am on my 2nd IVF right now and I had 9 good follicles on Monday but now (Thursday) I am down to 3. Basically, the three have responded a little too well to the meds and they will need to be removed before the rest will have a chance to catch up. Quality vs quantity is the reason for the moment. Anyway, I'm hoping for at least one good egg that will fertilize and provide me a chance to conceive after the effort I put into this again. I have to admit I am discouraged as the odds are against me but I've also been doing this long enough to know anything can and will happen.
It's been 4 years since my first IVF. I had at that time 7 eggs and 5 fertilized leaving me with no success. I thought I would never subject myself to such disappointment again but I regrouped and realized that it's ASSISTED REPRODUCTION and not guaranteed. I wasn't quite sure what I wanted to do for a while, tried other things, considered adoption, left it alone (and ended up conceiving although it was only a short amount of time), got more opinions. It took 4 years to realize I still had a good chance and I had wonderful doctors who agreed so I decided to do it again.
It was casually asked of me by another doctor during a 2nd opinion if I would consider egg donation and at the time I thought.???? Why would he ask me that? I don't have an ovulation problem It turns out that I have a low response to meds and other factors indicate that I do not have many eggs left. SO..... the DH and I decided that we would do IVF with an egg donor if this doesn't work. I wanted to get some feedback from anyone who has done it and what all was involved. I'm in the chat room a lot. I would appreciate any encouragement or stories that you are willing to share. This site is so great to put us all in touch with each other. Hope someone will reach out soon. Till then.

Angela
age 34 DH age 35
ttc 4yrs actively, 7 yrs from 1st pg
3 ectopics, 3 laps, 1 chemical, 1 IVF, 4 IUIs
every fertility drug ever invented!!!!!!!!

Brunswick, Ga

[50/50]

Hi Daisy,

What a neat story. I really think the world of women who are so willing to donate their eggs to infertile women. There really is no words or money to compensate a gift like that. We went through an agency and yes their price is hefty although I think you can request what your fee would be. We used the donor source and they do have interviews in la every now and then. You could also post on surromomsonline.com a lot of women search for donors there. There is also this other clinic in LA that sells frozen eggs...so you could donate them there but then they will be sold for a fee.

Well good luck to you I'm sure you won't have a problem finding someone to donate your eggs to. The recipient couple will be so lucky!

[Margarete Anne]

Here is the website for the doctor and clinic that I used.........the donor coordinator is wonderful, as are all the rest of the staff.

www.ivfbaby.com

Good luck.....you are awesome for considering this precious gift of life to a couple who really want to have a child.

Margaret Anne

[daisyadair]

Thank you all so much for your responses. I was alittle nrevous about posting at first(I was afraid I might ofend someone) but I am a very open and honest person(almost to a fault sometimes...)
BC Donor- thanks for the very warm welcome(when do I get my fruit basket?) I just hope it's okay to post here, and ask questions, not just about egg donation, but to other women here-I really would love to "try" to understand their feelings and emotions(not that I could ever sympathize, since I am not going through it myself). I just want to learn more.

Karen- I understand what you are saying, it does take time and effort and a lot of work to keep it coordinated. And giving blood and shots can be a pain in the butt. So I can understand the compensation factor-and I know to many, many women that dollar amount is nothing compared to what you give in return. But I truly do karma, and that this act will be repaid back to me in some other form(although I feel I am the luckiest person alive-I don't anything else!!) Besides, if they did pay me-I would probably turn around and buy baby gifts for them!!(being hopeful) And not to mention that college is getting pretty expensive!!

Drawdy- I can't really tell you much about it, you know more than I do what is going on. I understand what I have to do to go through the donation process, and understand the beginning steps for an IP-but we can always chat and learn together. If there is anything you ever want to ask-don't hesitate. I am not offended by anything-and like I said I am just very honest and up front.

50/50- thank you for the info, but I live in mass, I am from LA and my family is there, but I finally got to see snow!!I will definetely use the website.

Margarette anne- thanks fo rthe agency, I'll talk to them and see-I hope when you said the word used, that means you have your baby? I hope so!!

And thanks again, wish I could change it for all of you-but I will keep you at heart. tabby

[karenandeva]

Good luck with your donation, you will make some very lucky couple extremely happy. Since you live in MA, you might want to contact Brigham and Women's Hospital, they have a large fertility clinic there, they would probably be able to match you with a recipient couple. Also, you can contact the agency we are using, Choice Donations, they are located in Carver, MA. The agency coordinator is wonderful and extrememly helpful and understanding. She runs a smaller agency which is why we chose her, she gets to know each of her donors personally, so when it came time for us to choose, she knew exactly who would work out for us. If you have any other questions, please e-mail me, and again, good luck and thanks for being so generous.
Karen