donor egg question- proven or not?

mouse123 · 03-23-2006, 07:57 AM

hey i was wonedring if i could get some feedback- after three fresh and 1 frozen failed ivfs we are going donor egg route.
i kind of want a proven donor-- altho im not 100% about it--
so i got matched with a proven donor (27 years old) (had her own 2 children and donated 2 X before) we were already to start and clinic called yesterday and said something cropped up and she is no good- dr wasnt taking any risks with me-so I am back waiting to be matched..guess he found few lies on her questionnaire
they mentioned maybe having someone a 21 year old but she has never donated and never been preg on her own.
do you think proven vs not proven is that important? has anyone had experiences to share- I know proven isnt a guarantee that it will work for me..
im a little down in the dumps because I was so convinced we were on our way and now I have been knocked down....

thanks- mouse

little miracle · 03-23-2006, 08:16 AM

mouse123

Actually ,I was looking for a young donor and never cycled before, if possible with children because that is kind of a "guarantee" (BUT NOT NECESSARILY)

So don't feel bad at all, maybe this donor is better for you, sometimes things happen for a reason.

mouse123 · 03-23-2006, 08:46 AM

if you dont mind me asking what is your reasoning behind wanting a young donor who never cycled before? i understand the young bit but not the never cycled bit?
tx-
mouse

little miracle · 03-23-2006, 09:13 AM

mouse123,

Because (this is my personal opinion, of course), I think that maybe someone that has never cycle before may respond better to meds. and to the hole cycle, however something new I learnt is that there are proven donors that have donated up to 5 times and all of the 5 times they were succesful.

CrystalAZ · 03-23-2006, 02:07 PM

My RE said that age is a much bigger factor than whether they have donated before. He said that in all his years, he could count the times that donors didn't respond well on one hand.

My concern about going with an "unproven" donor is fear that she will change her mind or get scared and decide it isn't worth it. But after talking to the agency about all the hoops they have to jump through to get on the final list, I feel pretty good about anyone I would have picked.

Crystal

mouse123 · 03-23-2006, 02:43 PM

thanks crystalaz---
I was also thinking 21 years old is good- nice and young--versus the 26 year old...i guess each donor has their pluses and minuses.
well i am in the waiting game now- who knows what will pop up in the meantime....

karenandeva · 03-23-2006, 02:52 PM

We have chosen a donor that is 26 and has a 1 year old. My RE told us to choose someone in their mid to late 20's since fertility is at max at 27. He also said someone in their early 20's may not be mature enough to understand the dedication this entire process takes. We chose a first time donor since the wait for a proven donor was too long. Hope this info helps and good luck!

Karen

**BC-donor** · 03-23-2006, 02:52 PM

Everyone has their own reasons for wanting a proven vs. unproven. With a proven donor, you know how she responds to the meds & you know what her egg quality was for her previous donations. Now, that's not a guarantee that the egg quality can't have changed between donations, even if there's not been a long time in between donations. Also, a proven (or even just experienced) donor knows what's involved & knows how crucial it is to do the meds at the exact time they're told to do them.

An unproven donor, you don't know how she'll respond to the meds. I don't think that you really run a risk of losing an inexperienced donor to fear once you actually get started on stims. If they've made it that far, they're more than likely not going to back out. Also, with the amount of screening & counselling they have to go through, I think all of the possible scenario's have been layed out for them.

A donor having children of her own doesn't make her a proven donor. Since people will respond differently to the stims, someone who got pregnant on their own may have had a really nice egg, but when on stims, it could change their egg quality. Now, we did choose someone who was proven & did have a child of her own & those things were a plus for us, but you have to keep in mind that having their own children doesn't mean that they're proven.

However, saying those things, if no one wants to choose an unproven donor simply because she's never donated before, some really awesome donors will be passed up!! Everyone has to have their first time, right?!

My thought is that you should go with the donor that YOU feel is the best match for you - regardless of whether she's donated/proven or not.

Good luck!!

**BC-MAV** · 03-24-2006, 07:55 AM

NOthings a guarantee. We went with a donor who was married and had 2 children with her DH. She had donated several times and ALL her donations resulted in pregnancies and births for the couples. We got several embryos and none of the embryos resulted in a pregnancy for either of 2 SM's!!!

So next time we went with an unmarried gal who is an only child (no siblings) and she has never been pregnant and doesn't have kids obviously. She had never donateed so we had no idea how she would respond to meds. We got several embryos and on the 1st try with another SM we have our baby!!!! The ages of both our ED's were about the same

mouse123 · 03-24-2006, 08:42 AM

thank you fpr your imput - it is much appreciated

03-23-2006, 07:57 AM	#1 (permalink)
mouse123 Registered User Join Date: Aug 2005 Posts: 139	donor egg question- proven or not? hey i was wonedring if i could get some feedback- after three fresh and 1 frozen failed ivfs we are going donor egg route. i kind of want a proven donor-- altho im not 100% about it-- so i got matched with a proven donor (27 years old) (had her own 2 children and donated 2 X before) we were already to start and clinic called yesterday and said something cropped up and she is no good- dr wasnt taking any risks with me-so I am back waiting to be matched..guess he found few lies on her questionnaire they mentioned maybe having someone a 21 year old but she has never donated and never been preg on her own. do you think proven vs not proven is that important? has anyone had experiences to share- I know proven isnt a guarantee that it will work for me.. im a little down in the dumps because I was so convinced we were on our way and now I have been knocked down.... thanks- mouse

03-23-2006, 02:52 PM	#8 (permalink)
BC-donor 500-599 post 7 of hearts Join Date: Jan 2005 Posts: 587	Everyone has their own reasons for wanting a proven vs. unproven. With a proven donor, you know how she responds to the meds & you know what her egg quality was for her previous donations. Now, that's not a guarantee that the egg quality can't have changed between donations, even if there's not been a long time in between donations. Also, a proven (or even just experienced) donor knows what's involved & knows how crucial it is to do the meds at the exact time they're told to do them. An unproven donor, you don't know how she'll respond to the meds. I don't think that you really run a risk of losing an inexperienced donor to fear once you actually get started on stims. If they've made it that far, they're more than likely not going to back out. Also, with the amount of screening & counselling they have to go through, I think all of the possible scenario's have been layed out for them. A donor having children of her own doesn't make her a proven donor. Since people will respond differently to the stims, someone who got pregnant on their own may have had a really nice egg, but when on stims, it could change their egg quality. Now, we did choose someone who was proven & did have a child of her own & those things were a plus for us, but you have to keep in mind that having their own children doesn't mean that they're proven. However, saying those things, if no one wants to choose an unproven donor simply because she's never donated before, some really awesome donors will be passed up!! Everyone has to have their first time, right?! My thought is that you should go with the donor that YOU feel is the best match for you - regardless of whether she's donated/proven or not. Good luck!! __________________ Multiple DE cycles, finally successful Last edited by BC-donor; 03-23-2006 at 02:54 PM.

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03-23-2006, 08:16 AM	#2 (permalink)
little miracle Registered User Join Date: May 2005 Posts: 605	mouse123 Actually ,I was looking for a young donor and never cycled before, if possible with children because that is kind of a "guarantee" (BUT NOT NECESSARILY) So don't feel bad at all, maybe this donor is better for you, sometimes things happen for a reason.

03-23-2006, 08:46 AM	#3 (permalink)
mouse123 Registered User Join Date: Aug 2005 Posts: 139	if you dont mind me asking what is your reasoning behind wanting a young donor who never cycled before? i understand the young bit but not the never cycled bit? tx- mouse

03-23-2006, 09:13 AM	#4 (permalink)
little miracle Registered User Join Date: May 2005 Posts: 605	mouse123, Because (this is my personal opinion, of course), I think that maybe someone that has never cycle before may respond better to meds. and to the hole cycle, however something new I learnt is that there are proven donors that have donated up to 5 times and all of the 5 times they were succesful.

03-23-2006, 02:07 PM	#5 (permalink)
CrystalAZ 10000-15000 post ace of hearts Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: Phoenix AZ & Flagstaff, AZ Posts: 10,835 Blog Entries: 455	My RE said that age is a much bigger factor than whether they have donated before. He said that in all his years, he could count the times that donors didn't respond well on one hand. My concern about going with an "unproven" donor is fear that she will change her mind or get scared and decide it isn't worth it. But after talking to the agency about all the hoops they have to jump through to get on the final list, I feel pretty good about anyone I would have picked. Crystal

03-23-2006, 02:43 PM	#6 (permalink)
mouse123 Registered User Join Date: Aug 2005 Posts: 139	thanks crystalaz--- I was also thinking 21 years old is good- nice and young--versus the 26 year old...i guess each donor has their pluses and minuses. well i am in the waiting game now- who knows what will pop up in the meantime....

03-23-2006, 02:52 PM	#7 (permalink)
karenandeva Registered User Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: nh Posts: 11	We have chosen a donor that is 26 and has a 1 year old. My RE told us to choose someone in their mid to late 20's since fertility is at max at 27. He also said someone in their early 20's may not be mature enough to understand the dedication this entire process takes. We chose a first time donor since the wait for a proven donor was too long. Hope this info helps and good luck! Karen

03-24-2006, 07:55 AM	#9 (permalink)
BC-MAV Board Coordinator for Surrogacy BB Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: way down yonder ... Posts: 29,651 Blog Entries: 50	NOthings a guarantee. We went with a donor who was married and had 2 children with her DH. She had donated several times and ALL her donations resulted in pregnancies and births for the couples. We got several embryos and none of the embryos resulted in a pregnancy for either of 2 SM's!!! So next time we went with an unmarried gal who is an only child (no siblings) and she has never been pregnant and doesn't have kids obviously. She had never donateed so we had no idea how she would respond to meds. We got several embryos and on the 1st try with another SM we have our baby!!!! The ages of both our ED's were about the same

03-24-2006, 08:42 AM	#10 (permalink)
mouse123 Registered User Join Date: Aug 2005 Posts: 139	thank you fpr your imput - it is much appreciated