Sperm Donor, 60 minutes

sadnotbabyyet · 03-21-2006, 03:59 PM

Maybe some of you didn't saw this:
http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2006/...n1414965.shtml

03-30-2006, 06:37 PM

I saw it, and I thought it was a really good piece!

Since the show, the DonorSiblingRegistry on Yahoo has had a lot of new people join, and many more matches. I know at least 25 new ones.

JL

maria2 · 03-30-2006, 10:29 PM

This is my same post as down below on "freaking out a little" but thought maybe to put it here too - as I'm interested in other people's perspectives on the topic. Who knows - it's fully possible one or both of our kids will have a different perspective from ours!! -maria2

"Haven't been here for a while and heard about the 60 minutes segment from a friend last week. I just read it.

I've said this before but I just have to post this. There's just something really strange to me about these stories. I do not understand the concept that because you have a biological connection to someone that you have a relationship. To me, relationships are defined by daily, monthly, yearly interaction, by having a life's history with someone. I am blood related to some of my cousins but have no relationship with them. Blood and DNA do not make a relationship. In fact my very favorite quote from the whole story is from the donor who was interviewed:
"This may sound a little detached, but I don't really look at these children as my children or, you know, that I'm their father. I was somebody who provided a tool or a necessary ingredient for a family to have a child that was wanted." Exactly so. This doesn't sound detached to me at all. That's how we explain it to our kids - we've been disclosing to them from the beginning. I tell them that they were our baby angels and they waited with God for us to figure out how to get them down here. Dad's baby seeds didn't work, a doctor tried to fix them, he couldn't, so we got some baby seeds from a nice man, a donor, who gave us his because he didn't need them and wanted to help mommies and daddies bring their baby angels down to be part of their families. I'm not a big church-goer, but I do belive this with all my heart. I completely understand the curiosity about donor and siblings, that's not the issue for me. It's making "families" out of blood connections. These babies all have families, whether single sex families, single parent families, or hetereosexual families. Our "family" is made up of us and all our friends, people with which we have relationships. Ok Enough! Thanks for reading my rant!
-maria2
mom to David, 4 and Katie, 1.5 - who came to us via Divine abundance, my husband's open heart, my eggs and 2 "baby seed" donors :-)

ps Edited to add - I guess it goes without saying then, that I think a family is built of people who have relationships, not blood connections."

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

03-31-2006, 09:08 AM

I understand and agree with everything you say.

I would add, however, that families are made up of people we love and who we choose to call family...and that can include people who are or aren't blood related.

Is my husband blood related to me? Not one bit! Yet he is unquestionably one of the most important people among those whom I consider to be my family.

I belong to DonorSiblingRegistry, and some of the families who "match" only swap photos and emails. They don't consider each other to be family; they just used the same donor and they want to see how their kids compare. If you used an anonymous donor it's one way to perhaps see what came from the donor. Some of the kids have remarkable similarities.

I have not found any matches for my son, and I joined the group immediately after it started. And I am fine with that! I don't personally feel like we need any more friends or family members. I barely have time for those already here. BUT...my son wanted to know if he had any half-siblings. He is curious, and since he can't meet or know who his bio dad is, it can be somewhat of a consolation: here is another person (or persons) who has the same bio dad and doesn't know him, either.

It seems like the matching works the same as the rest of life. You meet people, and some of them just click with you and it feels like you've always known them. Other people...not so good. When families contact each other it can go either way. Some people just happen to click!

That's just my take on it. I used to actually not care one bit about meeting half-siblings, and sort of didn't want to know of any (but my son did). I just wanted to know who our donor was/is. But as time goes by and I see other people really enjoying the connections they make I have become more curious.

Jen L.

03-21-2006, 03:59 PM	#1 (permalink)
sadnotbabyyet Registered User Join Date: Jan 2006 Posts: 1	Sperm Donor, 60 minutes Maybe some of you didn't saw this: http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2006/...n1414965.shtml

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03-30-2006, 06:37 PM	#2 (permalink)
nathanzmom Guest Posts: n/a	I saw it, and I thought it was a really good piece! Since the show, the DonorSiblingRegistry on Yahoo has had a lot of new people join, and many more matches. I know at least 25 new ones. JL

03-30-2006, 10:29 PM	#3 (permalink)
maria2 Registered User Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: Oregon Posts: 477	This is my same post as down below on "freaking out a little" but thought maybe to put it here too - as I'm interested in other people's perspectives on the topic. Who knows - it's fully possible one or both of our kids will have a different perspective from ours!! -maria2 "Haven't been here for a while and heard about the 60 minutes segment from a friend last week. I just read it. I've said this before but I just have to post this. There's just something really strange to me about these stories. I do not understand the concept that because you have a biological connection to someone that you have a relationship. To me, relationships are defined by daily, monthly, yearly interaction, by having a life's history with someone. I am blood related to some of my cousins but have no relationship with them. Blood and DNA do not make a relationship. In fact my very favorite quote from the whole story is from the donor who was interviewed: "This may sound a little detached, but I don't really look at these children as my children or, you know, that I'm their father. I was somebody who provided a tool or a necessary ingredient for a family to have a child that was wanted." Exactly so. This doesn't sound detached to me at all. That's how we explain it to our kids - we've been disclosing to them from the beginning. I tell them that they were our baby angels and they waited with God for us to figure out how to get them down here. Dad's baby seeds didn't work, a doctor tried to fix them, he couldn't, so we got some baby seeds from a nice man, a donor, who gave us his because he didn't need them and wanted to help mommies and daddies bring their baby angels down to be part of their families. I'm not a big church-goer, but I do belive this with all my heart. I completely understand the curiosity about donor and siblings, that's not the issue for me. It's making "families" out of blood connections. These babies all have families, whether single sex families, single parent families, or hetereosexual families. Our "family" is made up of us and all our friends, people with which we have relationships. Ok Enough! Thanks for reading my rant! -maria2 mom to David, 4 and Katie, 1.5 - who came to us via Divine abundance, my husband's open heart, my eggs and 2 "baby seed" donors :-) ps Edited to add - I guess it goes without saying then, that I think a family is built of people who have relationships, not blood connections." --------------------------------------------------------------------------------

03-31-2006, 09:08 AM	#4 (permalink)
nathanzmom Guest Posts: n/a	I understand and agree with everything you say. I would add, however, that families are made up of people we love and who we choose to call family...and that can include people who are or aren't blood related. Is my husband blood related to me? Not one bit! Yet he is unquestionably one of the most important people among those whom I consider to be my family. I belong to DonorSiblingRegistry, and some of the families who "match" only swap photos and emails. They don't consider each other to be family; they just used the same donor and they want to see how their kids compare. If you used an anonymous donor it's one way to perhaps see what came from the donor. Some of the kids have remarkable similarities. I have not found any matches for my son, and I joined the group immediately after it started. And I am fine with that! I don't personally feel like we need any more friends or family members. I barely have time for those already here. BUT...my son wanted to know if he had any half-siblings. He is curious, and since he can't meet or know who his bio dad is, it can be somewhat of a consolation: here is another person (or persons) who has the same bio dad and doesn't know him, either. It seems like the matching works the same as the rest of life. You meet people, and some of them just click with you and it feels like you've always known them. Other people...not so good. When families contact each other it can go either way. Some people just happen to click! That's just my take on it. I used to actually not care one bit about meeting half-siblings, and sort of didn't want to know of any (but my son did). I just wanted to know who our donor was/is. But as time goes by and I see other people really enjoying the connections they make I have become more curious. Jen L.