What do you do when you get this response?

[BC-MAV]

"Hmmmm.... I don't know who the baby looks like!" This is from my aunt who has both biological and adopted grandchildren so I would think the focus wouldn't be on a baby's physical looks. Anyways my mother has also said she isn't sure who the baby looks like. I think A is adorable... actually looks a lot like DS and DH, but there are surely beautiful aspects of our ED that I just can't "pick apart" and wouldn't even try! We don't plan on telling DS until he is old enough to understand gametes. The surrogacy part he will be able to understand when he is about 4 or 5 but the ED part.... that would seem to come a little later. You know I see babies that are 100% biological and they don't look like either parent... more a combo of both... and it's hard to distinguish. We haven't told any family about using an ED. I know it's early and I figured let them get to know and love our baby and then later the logistics... otherwise they'd freak out-LOL! So any thoughts?

[AmyA]

This is a hard issue. My dad's side of the family doesn't know about us using ds. I have thought about telling them many times but I just can't. I don't know how they would react.

[jlquilts]

We give the they look like themselves answer. Janna looks and acts so much like one of dh's nephews that it is scary!!! Nicole looks alot like dh as well. We used anonomous ED so I have no idea what charactoristics are from her. My mom is the only one who was told I don't know if anyone else suspects or not. We still need to figure out when to start to tell the girls the story of their origins.

[jadejong]

I often get "your kids sure don't look alike". (adopted and donor embryos) We just respond with "yeah, I know". They really don't know what to say after that.

[50/50]

I've been getting that too. I used de/ds and I say she hopefully got the best of both of us. like you have seen kids of parents that are bio and look nothing like either parents.

[DiIP]

Lauren (donor egg) and Ryan (donor embie)look very much like dh, so we just say they look like him. Catie (donor embie) doesn't look like anyone in the family, but she has a lot of characteristics of my grandmother. So I just tell folks she looks a lot like her.

For a while, it felt weird to say that, but I got used to it and now it doesn't bother me at all. After all, it was the truth! No one was asking me which genetic family member my kids looked like...they were asking me who they looked like!

[Laenae]

I have been getting a lot of questions too. While I could not find someone of my ethnicity when selecting a donor, I wanted to find someone that would look like they at least came from my side of the family. DS doesn't look like DH or the donor for that matter -- at least not at this stage. DH, the donor and I have medium skin tone, brown hair and tan easily. DH has green eyes. The donor and I have brown eyes. DS is fair and has light hair and blue eyes. The donor is half Sicilian and half Irish and I assume DS gets his genes from the Irish side of her family. We are just going to tell people that DS looks like a distant relative on my husband's side of the family and leave it at that.

[ms_sea]

I love this question...since I always say they look like their momma...and people argue with me! "No they look just like their dad"....I have pics of my donor...so my oldest ds looks a little like the donor...still looks more like me...but even more like my mom. ds#2 looks just like me!
Weirdly(probably not a word...but fits the situation) our donor looks a lot like my dad....a little creepy..didnt find out until ds#2 was born and I got his adult photos for my kids!
Tracy

[BC-donor]

When this has happened, I just smile & say that they look like themselves! I don't feel weird about it at all because I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that my children are mine, so I don't care if people don't see what they think they should see! I've had people tell me that my 2nd child looks like me & I just !