Over Before it Began!

deeja · 06-11-2005, 10:20 AM

Had to tell you all this crazy news, but I will preface with, better now than later. Anyway, my DH and I have our DEIVF orientation next Wed 6/15 and I called our EDC to see if our ED "passed with flying colors" per our RE. Well, the ED DID NOT show up to her appt. (2 days ago) and has not called the RE or the EDC at all...after many phone messages! I got the news yesterday afternoon and was devastated! I was a little weepy shopping through Target and then had a full blown meltdown while getting my upper lip and chin waxed (thanks to my hormone shots of E2 and Testosterone)...it really hurt and I started to tear and then a cryfest ensued!

The Good news-We struggled between 2 ED's and the other ED is still available and actually called the EDC last week to see if she had been matched yet! Now there's someone who seems invested....we gave our EDC the thumbs up this morning to move forward...I guess it's full circle...she was our 1st choice until the 11th hour when the other ED passed her psych eval and we went with her instead. Go figure. Thanks for listening!

nandu · 06-11-2005, 10:43 AM

So sorry for the disappointment. You deserve all the meltdowns you need.

But I think it is a good thing sometimes when these big decisions work themselves out in their own way. It's kind of like it was supposed to be.

Here's to smooth sailing with the "right" donor.

Hugs,
Rhea

50/50 · 06-11-2005, 11:20 AM

Oh no...I'm so sorry to hear that. I would have been crushed too but like you said it's good that it happend now instead of later. Things happen for a reason and it's so strange that your #1 choice was waiting on the sidelines for a recipient! Sounds like some type of intervention to me? Does this change your entire schedule now?

Wishing you the best!

**BC-MAV** · 06-11-2005, 11:23 AM

Well we had our hearts SET on this certain ED who was in the medical field and very smart and pretty and looked a lot like me. We were ready to go and her DH hit her with unexpected DIVORCE!!! We were heartbroken but we moved on. Another ED we chose but then she went with another couple. We finally settled on the one!

Emily'sMom · 06-11-2005, 12:47 PM

Oh sweetie, I'm so sorry. I can totally relate to the meltdown. We all deserve however many meltdowns we need. Personally I think it's better to let it out than keep it all inside! Having had a recent meltdown myself I can tell you it did me loads of good

I have come to believe that things happen for a reason. And having said that believe that you were truly meant to be with your real 1st choice!!! I'm hoping things move quickly for you from here on out.

If you don't mind me asking, was the other donor through an agency or your RE's pool? I ask because we used our clinic's donor pool. They won't list an ED on their available list until they've completed all of the screening. I'm so glad I didn't have to deal with the stress of wondering if our chosen ED would pass everything. Sorry again you had to go through that.

Keep us posted on how your schedule pans out!!!

deeja · 06-11-2005, 12:54 PM

Thanks for your replies!

Ellen-We are using an agency as our RE's donor pool is currently empty! The very last step is just a formality. Our RE likes to meet and discuss the medical pov to the donor and get his "feel" for the donor as well. After that initial meeting it is all systems go!

I'll keep you all posted! Cross your fingers that our REAL #1 choice is raring to go!

flicka7 · 06-12-2005, 06:18 AM

Wow, what a turnaround. Better that she backed out early than right before (or after!) retrieval! Good Luck with this donor.

06-11-2005, 10:20 AM	#1 (permalink)
deeja Registered User Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: Michigan Posts: 182	Over Before it Began! Had to tell you all this crazy news, but I will preface with, better now than later. Anyway, my DH and I have our DEIVF orientation next Wed 6/15 and I called our EDC to see if our ED "passed with flying colors" per our RE. Well, the ED DID NOT show up to her appt. (2 days ago) and has not called the RE or the EDC at all...after many phone messages! I got the news yesterday afternoon and was devastated! I was a little weepy shopping through Target and then had a full blown meltdown while getting my upper lip and chin waxed (thanks to my hormone shots of E2 and Testosterone)...it really hurt and I started to tear and then a cryfest ensued! The Good news-We struggled between 2 ED's and the other ED is still available and actually called the EDC last week to see if she had been matched yet! Now there's someone who seems invested....we gave our EDC the thumbs up this morning to move forward...I guess it's full circle...she was our 1st choice until the 11th hour when the other ED passed her psych eval and we went with her instead. Go figure. Thanks for listening!

06-11-2005, 12:47 PM	#5 (permalink)
Emily'sMom 5000-9999 post king of hearts Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: Upstate NY Posts: 5,973	Oh sweetie, I'm so sorry. I can totally relate to the meltdown. We all deserve however many meltdowns we need. Personally I think it's better to let it out than keep it all inside! Having had a recent meltdown myself I can tell you it did me loads of good I have come to believe that things happen for a reason. And having said that believe that you were truly meant to be with your real 1st choice!!! I'm hoping things move quickly for you from here on out. If you don't mind me asking, was the other donor through an agency or your RE's pool? I ask because we used our clinic's donor pool. They won't list an ED on their available list until they've completed all of the screening. I'm so glad I didn't have to deal with the stress of wondering if our chosen ED would pass everything. Sorry again you had to go through that. Keep us posted on how your schedule pans out!!! __________________ Ellen Mommy to a sweet miracle - Emily- 3/02 1st DEIVF - TWINS!!!! - Alexander David and - Katelyn Rose Arrived at 35w on 2/6/06

06-12-2005, 06:18 AM	#7 (permalink)
flicka7 1000-4999 post queen of hearts Join Date: May 2003 Location: NW Suburbs of Chicago Posts: 2,441	Wow, what a turnaround. Better that she backed out early than right before (or after!) retrieval! Good Luck with this donor. __________________ Me & DH, 45 POF, 6 IVF's, 2 m/c, finally successful with DE , twins &

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06-11-2005, 10:43 AM	#2 (permalink)
nandu 5000-9999 post king of hearts Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: Quebec City Posts: 6,110	So sorry for the disappointment. You deserve all the meltdowns you need. But I think it is a good thing sometimes when these big decisions work themselves out in their own way. It's kind of like it was supposed to be. Here's to smooth sailing with the "right" donor. Hugs, Rhea

06-11-2005, 11:20 AM	#3 (permalink)
50/50 Registered User Join Date: Nov 2004 Posts: 1,927 Blog Entries: 18	Oh no...I'm so sorry to hear that. I would have been crushed too but like you said it's good that it happend now instead of later. Things happen for a reason and it's so strange that your #1 choice was waiting on the sidelines for a recipient! Sounds like some type of intervention to me? Does this change your entire schedule now? Wishing you the best!

06-11-2005, 11:23 AM	#4 (permalink)
BC-MAV Board Coordinator for Surrogacy BB Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: way down yonder ... Posts: 29,651 Blog Entries: 50	Well we had our hearts SET on this certain ED who was in the medical field and very smart and pretty and looked a lot like me. We were ready to go and her DH hit her with unexpected DIVORCE!!! We were heartbroken but we moved on. Another ED we chose but then she went with another couple. We finally settled on the one!

06-11-2005, 12:54 PM	#6 (permalink)
deeja Registered User Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: Michigan Posts: 182	Thanks for your replies! Ellen-We are using an agency as our RE's donor pool is currently empty! The very last step is just a formality. Our RE likes to meet and discuss the medical pov to the donor and get his "feel" for the donor as well. After that initial meeting it is all systems go! I'll keep you all posted! Cross your fingers that our REAL #1 choice is raring to go!