Looking for Moms Who Have Received Donor Eggs

[Freebird424]

I am looking for Moms who have received Donor Eggs to discuss the process they went through, their feelings, and how they are accepting the child they have today.

Please help a desperate Mom want to be but not sure of the consequences....

[TRC]

We used donor embryos (DFET) to conceive our beautiful little triplet boys who are now 13 months old. I can honestly tell you that from the momemt I knew I was pg there was no doubt what so ever that I loved them. This love was confirmed when I delievered them and saw them for the first time...I cried, although they were tiny they were the most beautiful babies I'd ever seen. I would cry every time I looked at them and though...they're mine, these are my babies...God I loved them so much it hurt. Still to this day I can't imagine loving my own biological child any more than I love the boys I gave birth to. I cry now as I write this as that is how deep my love for them is...I can't imagine my life without them, they are everything to me!

[BC-KarenS-MI]

The decision of having to use DE is not usually an easy one to make & it's one that is often met with many questions- one of them being "would I be able to love the child??" I was blessed to have 2 beautiful children & I can honestly say that there has NEVER, EVER been one doubt in my mind that they are mine. I know that the eggs didn't come from me, but it was MY body & MY blood that made my children grow while they were inside of me. From the moment we found out that the retrieval had taken place, I KNEW that they were my babies. I gave them life & no one else could have done that. My body nourished them as they grew within me & my body nourished them after I brought them into the world. I went through labor, I gave birth. The ONLY time I ever, EVER think about my kids being from DE is when I'm here, talking about it. When I look into their eyes there is absolutely NO doubt about it- I AM their one and ONLY Mommy! As I tell my girls every night, "I love you more than ALL the sand in the sea & ALL the stars in the sky", & I mean it with everything within me!

I'm glad that you found this site. If you have any other questions, don't be afraid to ask.

Karen

[Margarete Anne]

As noted above, the decision to go forward with a DE transfer is a very personal one. My decision was an easy one, once I realized that what I wanted more than anything in this world was to parent with my dh....re-creating my gene pool was not that big an issue once I was able to clarify what was really important to my dh and I as a couple.

I will never forget the morning of our transfer, when we were taken to the lab to look at our potential babies through the microscope....it was overwhelming to realize that those seven little embryos were our future children....both my dh and I cried at the thought......our RE, came in and said, "Ahhhhhhh....you must have just looked at your 'brood' for the first time......we cried some more. From that moment on, I was in love with them, and they were my babies. They are big boys now.........8 1/2 years old, and they are the result of the best decision I have ever made. I have never thought of them as being someone else's.......they are my children and I love them more than life itself. It is the best decision I have ever made. That being said, I must tell you that I am intensely grateful to our donor for the amazing gift that she gave to us.

Not everyone feels this way from the very beginning and that is okay....I think that if you take some time to get quiet and really think about what is important to you.....you will be able to make the decision that is right for you. That does not necessarily mean that you won't wonder what it would have been like to have been able to use your eggs, or that won't grieve the fact that you are not passing along your genes, but I do believe that it will all be a distant memory, when you see your babies sweet little face for the first time.

Good luck on your journey; you will be in my thoughts.

Margaret Anne

[Freebird424]

Thank you all from the bottom of my heart for sharing your thoughts and experiences with me. It means more to me than words can say. I am still wrestling with the thought of using DE and don't think I have it in me but it means a lot to know that others are out there and I am happy for all of you that have been able to "accept" such a precious gift. I just still need to do some soul searching and I know that time is short....

Thanks again.

[sandra524]

MY SON is the most precious person in our lives. His Father adores him and I can't imagine my life without him. Since we recieved the +beta, I would talk to him and dream of all the things we would do together.

It doesn't matter that I used DE, I am thankful everyday that there are beautiful and selfless women out there that are willing to help.

[BC-MAV]

We have used DE and SM is pregnant with our child via DE and DH's. I don't think we'll feel any different. We have talked to and met our ED and she is wonderful. She is excited about the pregnancy as well.

[BC-KarenS-MI]

Freebird,
Just take your time & know that making the decision to move on to DE is often a VERY difficult decision to make. It took my DH & I 5 years to decide to proceed with DE. It's difficult, there's no doubt about it. I remember when we were first told that we'd have to use DE, we both flat out said, "NO WAY!!! NEVER!!!" But as time went on & we realized just how much we wanted children, our minds were changed & we realized that it isn't the egg that makes the child. It's the love of you & your DH that make the child who he/she is & your love will be so overwhelming, it'll blow your mind!! But right now, you need to allow yourself time to grieve your feelings & allow yourself to be angry, hurt, whatever you're feeling. Come here ANY time, ok? We're all here for you!!

Karen