Don't want to tell OB that I used DE.

50/50 · 06-03-2005, 12:41 PM

Okay, I know this is probably not a good idea but I really didn't want to tell my OB that I used DE. I'm going to a hospital that my SIL is a big wig at and we just don't want it to slip out. UGH. I just booked my first appt and they want my RE records.

Is there no way out of this?

50/50

thea · 06-03-2005, 01:34 PM

I told my OB that I used DE and then he asked me if it was ok with me to write that in my chart. Maybe if you did tell you could ask him/her to not write it in your chart? Either way, I think the decision to tell is definately up to you.

thea

50/50 · 06-03-2005, 01:37 PM

Thanks Thea!

Did your OB ask for records from your RE's office? I wonder if I could just weed out only the preg information with no DE info on it and just send that? That's probably all they need anyhow...I would think?

50/50

Stefani · 06-03-2005, 01:41 PM

I talked with my husband, a physician, about this and he said that there is absolutely no reason that your OB needs to know that you used DE. He said that most patients don't know much about their own medical history and certainly can't provide many details of their family's medical history. That said, if you are over 35 your OB may recommend tests that wouldn't be necessary if he/she knew that you used DE. Of course it is your prerogative to decline those tests. In our case, my husband comes from a prominent family in our area and unless we plan on disclosing to everyone, we cannot disclose to anyone and that includes the OB/GYN. You could either "forget" to have the records sent or choose another OB/GYN and don't mention that you went to an RE. Good luck.

Stefani

SammysMom · 06-03-2005, 04:36 PM

When I took my RE records to my OB's office, I only took the pregnancy records over there. The OB doesn't need to know any information about what infertility treatments you went through because they are only concerned with your pregnancy. I told my OB, but I also know that many ladies prefer not to and they shouldn't have to. Good luck!

thea · 06-03-2005, 06:57 PM

My OB didn't mention wanting the records from my RE; I'm the one that brought that up. My thought is that's your choice if you want to share your records or not. Afterall, you need to sign a release to have the RE send the records, so there's no way it will happen without your consent.

thea

Emily'sMom · 06-03-2005, 07:17 PM

I think this is definately your choice. I like the others suggestion to just send the pg records. What difference does it make how you got pregnant .. all they should care about is what's happened since you had a + beta. Given most of our ages

our OB's are going to push for an amnio amongst other things. But as Stefani said, we have the right to decline those! Another thought (and I think this is what Laenae did) is she told the OB but asked him/her not to write it in her records.

I told my gyn/ob long before I even convinced my dh to do DE that that's where we were probably headed. But as has been said many times, once you tell, you can't untell. So follow your heart and do what is right for you!

flicka7 · 06-03-2005, 08:17 PM

My OB asked for my records. I thought my RE would send copies of his papers, but he ended up writing a letter with the details. Maybe your RE could just do that and not mention the DE. Also, if you ask your OB for confidentiality, he should oblige. My OB has not suggested any of the tests that I would have to do at 41 with my own eggs. If your OB knew you used DE, you could avoid all those conversations.

**BC-donor** · 06-03-2005, 10:24 PM

There is absolutely NO reason that your OB needs to know that you used DE. I did tell mine, but I'd been seeing my OB for a very long time & she was aware of my situation. I didn't give that info to the nurse when giving my history & I made sure to tell my OB that I did NOT want ANYTHING stating that I'd used DE in my OB records.

Since your OB has no idea that you've used DE, I would NOT tell him/her. You can just get a note from your RE stating that they've seen a IUP (intra uterine pregnancy) with h/b, measuring however many weeks, etc., but there is NO reason why they'd need to know that you used DE.

I also wouldn't recommend doing any of the extra tests that they'll offer you, like AFP (otherwise known as the Triple Screen) because that is based on your age & since your donor was more than likely not the same age as you, it could/would throw off the results & make you have to go through extensive tests to find out why they were so far off.

Good luck to you! Do NOT feel bad for not wanting to disclose that info. I don't blame you one bit for not wanting to say anything, especially since your SIL is a big wig at the hospital you'll deliver at! Granted, your info is personal & there should be NO reason for her to get a hold of your records, but why take the chance???

Stefani · 06-03-2005, 11:48 PM

I've been thinking about your dilemma and wondering how I would handle the request, particulary since our OB is also a personal friend. I came up with another idea for you -call your RE's office and ask them for a copy of your records. They may charge a nominal photocopying fee, but they should be willing to mail them, fax them, or have you pick them up. You can then review the records and remove anything that includes a reference to DE. At that point you can provide your OB with the records.

- Stefani

06-03-2005, 12:41 PM	#1 (permalink)
50/50 Registered User Join Date: Nov 2004 Posts: 1,927 Blog Entries: 18	Don't want to tell OB that I used DE. Okay, I know this is probably not a good idea but I really didn't want to tell my OB that I used DE. I'm going to a hospital that my SIL is a big wig at and we just don't want it to slip out. UGH. I just booked my first appt and they want my RE records. Is there no way out of this? 50/50

06-03-2005, 07:17 PM	#7 (permalink)
Emily'sMom 5000-9999 post king of hearts Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: Upstate NY Posts: 5,973	I think this is definately your choice. I like the others suggestion to just send the pg records. What difference does it make how you got pregnant .. all they should care about is what's happened since you had a + beta. Given most of our ages our OB's are going to push for an amnio amongst other things. But as Stefani said, we have the right to decline those! Another thought (and I think this is what Laenae did) is she told the OB but asked him/her not to write it in her records. I told my gyn/ob long before I even convinced my dh to do DE that that's where we were probably headed. But as has been said many times, once you tell, you can't untell. So follow your heart and do what is right for you! __________________ Ellen Mommy to a sweet miracle - Emily- 3/02 1st DEIVF - TWINS!!!! - Alexander David and - Katelyn Rose Arrived at 35w on 2/6/06

06-03-2005, 08:17 PM	#8 (permalink)
flicka7 1000-4999 post queen of hearts Join Date: May 2003 Location: NW Suburbs of Chicago Posts: 2,441	My OB asked for my records. I thought my RE would send copies of his papers, but he ended up writing a letter with the details. Maybe your RE could just do that and not mention the DE. Also, if you ask your OB for confidentiality, he should oblige. My OB has not suggested any of the tests that I would have to do at 41 with my own eggs. If your OB knew you used DE, you could avoid all those conversations. __________________ Me & DH, 45 POF, 6 IVF's, 2 m/c, finally successful with DE , twins &

06-03-2005, 10:24 PM	#9 (permalink)
BC-donor 500-599 post 7 of hearts Join Date: Jan 2005 Posts: 587	There is absolutely NO reason that your OB needs to know that you used DE. I did tell mine, but I'd been seeing my OB for a very long time & she was aware of my situation. I didn't give that info to the nurse when giving my history & I made sure to tell my OB that I did NOT want ANYTHING stating that I'd used DE in my OB records. Since your OB has no idea that you've used DE, I would NOT tell him/her. You can just get a note from your RE stating that they've seen a IUP (intra uterine pregnancy) with h/b, measuring however many weeks, etc., but there is NO reason why they'd need to know that you used DE. I also wouldn't recommend doing any of the extra tests that they'll offer you, like AFP (otherwise known as the Triple Screen) because that is based on your age & since your donor was more than likely not the same age as you, it could/would throw off the results & make you have to go through extensive tests to find out why they were so far off. Good luck to you! Do NOT feel bad for not wanting to disclose that info. I don't blame you one bit for not wanting to say anything, especially since your SIL is a big wig at the hospital you'll deliver at! Granted, your info is personal & there should be NO reason for her to get a hold of your records, but why take the chance??? __________________ Multiple DE cycles, finally successful

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06-03-2005, 01:34 PM	#2 (permalink)
thea Registered User Join Date: May 2005 Posts: 66	I told my OB that I used DE and then he asked me if it was ok with me to write that in my chart. Maybe if you did tell you could ask him/her to not write it in your chart? Either way, I think the decision to tell is definately up to you. thea

06-03-2005, 01:37 PM	#3 (permalink)
50/50 Registered User Join Date: Nov 2004 Posts: 1,927 Blog Entries: 18	Thanks Thea! Did your OB ask for records from your RE's office? I wonder if I could just weed out only the preg information with no DE info on it and just send that? That's probably all they need anyhow...I would think? 50/50

06-03-2005, 01:41 PM	#4 (permalink)
Stefani Registered User Join Date: May 2005 Location: Southern USA Posts: 34	I talked with my husband, a physician, about this and he said that there is absolutely no reason that your OB needs to know that you used DE. He said that most patients don't know much about their own medical history and certainly can't provide many details of their family's medical history. That said, if you are over 35 your OB may recommend tests that wouldn't be necessary if he/she knew that you used DE. Of course it is your prerogative to decline those tests. In our case, my husband comes from a prominent family in our area and unless we plan on disclosing to everyone, we cannot disclose to anyone and that includes the OB/GYN. You could either "forget" to have the records sent or choose another OB/GYN and don't mention that you went to an RE. Good luck. Stefani

06-03-2005, 04:36 PM	#5 (permalink)
SammysMom Registered User Join Date: Sep 2004 Location: Los Angeles Posts: 958	When I took my RE records to my OB's office, I only took the pregnancy records over there. The OB doesn't need to know any information about what infertility treatments you went through because they are only concerned with your pregnancy. I told my OB, but I also know that many ladies prefer not to and they shouldn't have to. Good luck!

06-03-2005, 06:57 PM	#6 (permalink)
thea Registered User Join Date: May 2005 Posts: 66	My OB didn't mention wanting the records from my RE; I'm the one that brought that up. My thought is that's your choice if you want to share your records or not. Afterall, you need to sign a release to have the RE send the records, so there's no way it will happen without your consent. thea

06-03-2005, 11:48 PM	#10 (permalink)
Stefani Registered User Join Date: May 2005 Location: Southern USA Posts: 34	I've been thinking about your dilemma and wondering how I would handle the request, particulary since our OB is also a personal friend. I came up with another idea for you -call your RE's office and ask them for a copy of your records. They may charge a nominal photocopying fee, but they should be willing to mail them, fax them, or have you pick them up. You can then review the records and remove anything that includes a reference to DE. At that point you can provide your OB with the records. - Stefani