I'm a donor wanting to talk to donors/recipients

[eggdonor]

Hi. I am brand new to this site & forum. I'm in the process of egg-donation for a couple, I do not know, through an agency. I just started the Follicle Stimulation Hormone (FSH) this eve. This whole process is interesting for me, and I feel good about it, but I also feel alone since I do not know any other women personally who have donated their ovum. I also don't know any women who have received either. I'm thinking a lot about the intended mother. She wrote me one letter, which was given to me through the agency. I don't think I will meet them, which is fine, I respect and understand their choice to stay anonymous. Personally, I could go either way, meaning, if they wanted to meet me, I would be happy to. If you have any thing to share, I would enjoy hearing from you, or discussing the process in general. Thanks.

[Emily'sMom]

Hi and welcome to FT! This site is incredible and offers a lot of support and information. It's so nice to see a donor posting here. We do get an occasional post .. but mostly the IM's. Congrats to you for choosing to be an ED. It's a priceless gift that you are giving your IP's!!! I'm currently in the middle of our first donor egg ivf (estimated transfer is in 2 weeks). Every clinic works a little differently. Considering you've already started stims, you are more than 1/2 way there!!! They should have given you a schedule but basically you'll continue taking the stims, along with lupron and they'll monitor your b/w (estrogen levels) and follicle count/size every few days. Usually your first u/s & b/w after baseline is after 5 days of stims, but they could bring you in sooner since you've never stimmed before. I always had about 5 u/s & b/w (including baseline) with each injectible cycle prior to the hcg. Basically once your follicles reach the appropriate size (varies by clinic but on avg is 18-21) they will have you stop the FSH injections and take hcg (aka trigger). You'll have your retrieval approx 36-42 hours after that. Sedation level varies by clinic, some only do numbing and others do full anesthesia (like my clinic). Your clinic will keep a close eye on your e2 (estrogen) levels to avoid you hyperstimming (aka OHSS). You will probably feel less than great after the retrieval, bloated, crampy kind of stuff. I strongly suggest you drink lots of gatorade and water, and a lot of protein. They are said to help. Anyways, after retrieval those eggs will be fertilized with your IF's sperm (or perhaps donor sperm) and a transfer is typically done 3 to 5 days later back to your IM.

I'm so glad your IM wrote you a letter. I hope it was one filled with gratitude. You never know what they may do in the future .. perhaps you will be contacted to keep in touch down the road. My clinic's program is anonymous and for financial and convenience reasons we chose to stay with our clinic. However, I HATE the anonymity!!! Unfortunately I have no choice but to abide by the rules of the program.

There are a couple other sites I post at that has a # of egg donors that I thought you could check out. Check out www.allaboutsurrogacy.com and www.surromomsonline.com. Both sites, like FT, are filled with lots of information and incredibly caring and supportive people!!!

I hope you'll keep us updated on your progress. I'm wishing both you and your IP's a successful cycle!!!

[wishing]

Hello and welcome to the board. I am also doing egg donation...well sort of. I am doing a shared cycle so I am giving the other couple half my eggs. I don't have much advice to give because I am not even at the stimulation stage yet. Just wanted to wish you good luck.

[50/50]

Hi there and welcome to the donor boards. I agree with Emily's Mom, we rarely do get donors who post here, but it is such a treat to hear the other side of our stories.

I am now PG with both DS/DE. What a process that was to select the right donors. I just wanted to say that what you are doing is such an amazing gift to these recipients.

I can only tell you how it was like for me while going through this process. We had some issues with our donor not following protocol and just making some things a little difficult, but in the end it all came out perfect! It was just very stressful through the entire cycle having to depend on a complete stranger to help fulfill our ultimate dream of having a child. I am of course without a doubt overwhelmed by the gift she gave us and in no way could ever really repay her. To me her fee will never be sufficient.

By the time some of us get to the point of using DE we have already been through multiple failed ivfs/iuis and DE is our "final" try to get pg. It was our last ray of hope before we moved on to adoption.

I just cannot stress how much your recipients are looking at you as their last ray of hope too. Don't mean to put any pressure on you but please take care of yourself while cycling and if you have any questions please don't hesitate to call your doctor or nurse for clarification or post here and we will try to help you out. This board does really offer a lot of support!

Best of luck to you!

[mmi]

Welcome to Fertile thoughts. We used donor sperm. Anonymous thru Fairfax sperm bank. As a recepient of the gift of donation, we are just so blessed that people like you donate. We spent three years and 10's of thousands of dollars trying to conceive. After we had completely exhausted everything, emotionally, financially, physically.... we moved to donor. We were blessed with the two most amazing girls you could ever meet(both singleton pregnancies... spaced 2+ years apart). I could never express the emotions and deep felt gratitude we feel toward our donor. We are finally a family and feel so complete. I can't imagine any other children in our life. So God bless you for giving someone else a chance at being a Mommy. I have done alot in my lifetime, but my role as Mommy takes the cake. I am truly the luckiest girl in the world!! Good luck.

[michelle_surro]

Hello,
I too am a donor, in the process of my second cycle, starting BCP on Tues. It is a lot of responsibility but at the same time such a reward. Make sure you keep up on your calendar for your meds- thats the most important. The only contact I have had with my IP's is a letter from them as well- isnt that sweet? I thought it was touching that they thought enough of me to do that. =)
Good luck on your cycle - and dont hesitate to ask for clarification from your clinic, they dont mind!
Feel free to IM me and we can chat, although I have visited the sites someone had listed above I still dont find many donors to converse with, so feel free.


Michelle
1 xTS BOY * 8.13 lbs
2 x ED

[eggdonor]

Hi. Thanks for your responses. I ask a lot of questions to the Doctor at the clinic that is handling the meds and monitoring me, so a lot of the facts of the process are clear. I feel honored to be helping this couple and I am taking extra excellent care of my health.

I asked the Dr to tell me anything and everything that I can do to ensure success on my part. He just told me to take the meds. But I wonder if I am obsessive--I want to know if there are any foods that help or hinder, how much excercise I should or shouldn't be doing etc. (The nurse at the clinic said exercise is good, just not any kind of marathon-training level of it). I am told that there is a 70% chance of success, and I just hope that it works. For a while it did not even occur to me that it might not work, and I read on another board somewhere that some Egg Donors (you guys call us "EDs" right?) can get really depressed if it fails. I had to think about that and consider that as a reality and prepare myself.

To Emily's Mom: Did your doctor tell you there's a 70% chance of success with using the donor eggs? I hope with all sincerity that it works, I just have to ask, because I think about this in the case of my intended parents...If it doesn't work, what do you think you will do? Would you try again either with the same donor or a different person?

Because there is so much expense involved and so much emotion invested in this process, I do take my role incredibly seriously. My husband is very supportive-even in the face of us not being able to have sex for a while.

I wrote a letter to the intened mother (IM?) to assure her that I am taking great care of myself and wishing her the best.

So far I did two nights of the stimulation meds. I feel fine. I know that I will start bloating (great) during the stimulation part. I just have to remind myself that it is temporary. What medications is the IM taking now to prepare to receive the egg? The day of retrieval is going to be one day in the week of June 5...so it seems like Emily's Mom is on the same cycle as we are.

Best wishes to you all.

[BC-donor]

Hi,
I want to thank you for doing something so wonderful & selfless for someone else to have the chance of making their dreams come true. Making the move to DE is a very difficult step to make for most people, but one that is usually made after many years of heart aches, negative hpt's, failed cycles & way more disappointing beta phone calls, not to mention the countless thousands (sometimes tens of thousands) of dollars. If it weren't for people like yourself, I wouldn't have the blessings of my children. My children are my greatest joys & without our donor, they wouldn't exist.

The success rates vary from clinic to clinic. Honestly, a 70% success rate seems a little high & if it is indeed true, it's not common. It all depends on the experience of the RE & the embryologist. I've seen success rates for DE range anywhere from 11% (pathetic) up to 60%.

For us, when our cycles failed, we did try again. Whether or not one will use the same donor again or not really depends. If the donor responded well to stims & the egg quality was good, people tend to want to try again with the same donor. After all, finding the right donor is far from easy!! So, if she's willing to go through it again, then most people will try with her again. After one of our cycles failed our donor chose not to donate again, so we were left trying to find another donor. Thank God we were successful with our next donor & she was kind enough to do several cycles with us so that we could also have more children & complete our family.

One more thing. I personally do not like being referred to as an IM. I'm a recipient mother during the cycle process, but after the transfer, I am the mother, in every way, shape & form.

Again, thank you for being so kind & helping to give another couple the chance of becoming parents!

[Emily'sMom]

Well I guess I shouldn't have used the word IM BC-Donor is right, once a child is conceived from those embryos she is and will always be the mom. I don't have any problems with that term, in fact I use it all the time. Because in reality, until our Egg Donor signs the papers, the eggs are not "mine" and therefore up until that point I'm the intended mom. Anyways ..

I think you are amazing for asking so much about the things you could do to help improve the outcome of your cycle. I would just continue doing what it sounds like you already are. Moderate excercise and healthy eating! I think water is very important as well as protein. If you decide to donate again I would also suggest you start taking a prenatal vitamin before your cycle starts. If you're already doing acupuncture (I know a lot of people do it for stuff other than infertility issues) then mention to him/her that you're doing an egg donation. There are points they can hit to improve the blood flow to that area and it's said to improve overall egg quality. There's also a the "IVF diet" on the IVF board as a sticky that's filled with lots of great tips. It's always highly suggested that you eliminate caffeine (or restrict it as much as possible). My acupuncturist says exercise is best done outdoors. Something about the sun and good "chemicals" in our body get released more when we're outdoors in the fresh air.

I think everyone is different with what they'll do after a failed cycle. It's hard to say because by the time you get to this point you've spent so much money it's a financial strain. I believe most people hope that they will have enough good embryo's to transfer and also freeze for a subsequent cycle (whether to get a successful cycle or perhaps a sibling). At least that's what I'm counting on. There is no way my dh is going to agree to invest in another fresh donor egg cycle so I hope and pray we have some to spare in case our fresh cycle doesn't work. I plan to try at least one frozen cycle (if the first doesn't work). I'd do more but I'm not sure how much further my dh will go .. financially.

As for what the IM has to do, personally I think our portion of the cycle is a breeze. I feel like I'm barely doing anything. And unfortunately for me that is making it difficult for me to really believe that we are actively cycling. I started bcp months ago in an attempt to speed up the process once we chose a donor. I started lupron a few days before my last bcp. Then after two weeks of lupron I added estrace (to help thicken up my lining). Once my lining is where they want it to be I will continue with the lupron and estrace and my donor will start stims. When she starts stims my dh will start taking an antibiotic 2x/day and I'll add in baby aspirin. I'll stop the lupron about the time my donor retrieves and will start antibiotics (cipro), medrol (to help implantation) and progesterone. I will be doing a 3 day transfer. Each clinic seems to have a different protocol. HTH

I'm not sure if you'll be told the outcome of your cycle other than how many eggs were retrieved. I don't believe you usually find out unless you're doing a known donation. If you do find out the results and if they are unsuccessful .. DO NOT take it personally. Unless for some reason the RE tells you that your eggs were poor quality .. you did nothing to make a cycle fail!!! There are so many other factors that effect the success (i.e. male factor, lining issues, immune issues, the list goes on & on). So even perfect eggs can result in a failed cycle.

I just want to say again that you are doing a wonderful thing for your couple. May all your dreams come true!

[NEC]

Hi, my husband and I have tried to do IVF 4 times and after 1 miscarriage and 1 ectopic pregnancy and still unsuccessful, we are considering using donor eggs. I am afraid my egg quality is no longer good. We are interested in any info on it and any recommendations you can give.
Thanks so much!