Anyone having any feedback to telling? (child ment)

Robinlee · 05-23-2005, 03:26 PM

I know it's a personal choice to tell or not to tell.
For me, I am a single mom who used DS. So not telling isn't an option. I was wondering if anyone who had a child and has told has any experiences good or bad?
My biggest fear is hurting my child by the circumstances surrounding his conception. I just wanted him so badly.

Thanks,
Robin
www.somedreamscometrue.com

wishing · 05-23-2005, 03:42 PM

I don't have an answer but I am just a few steps behind you. I am single and considering donor sperm. I am just not sure if it is too hard on the child? How old is your DS?

I am in the planning stage but wishing you luck with you desision.

Robinlee · 05-23-2005, 04:02 PM

Thanks for responding to my post. My son is 2 1/2. It took me three years to decide to go ahead and use DS. It's a tough decision and I pray my son never comes to resent me. I just tell him every day hope much I love him and how much I wanted him.
Good luck with your decision and feel free to email me anytime.
Take care,

Robin
www.somedreamscometrue.com

05-23-2005, 06:40 PM

If you check down the board there is a really long thread on DI disclosure. A lot of us wrote if we were telling or not, and a little about that. I think that is a good way to get info. It's nice, because it's balanced.

I told my son, now 13, about the donor long ago, and everything is hunky dory about it. He said he likes being DI; it's one of the unique things about him.

I have talked to many DI moms (in person and online). Those who told before teens had experiences that were fine; some who told when the kids were teens had good experiences, and some had bad experiences at that point. It was tough on some of the DI teens, and a relief for others. The ones who found out by accident mostly didn't have a positive experience, from what I read online.

I was really worried, when I was TTC, that I was doing something selfish and my kid would later resent not knowing who the donor is (IF he wanted to know). Well, he DOES want to know out of curiosity, but he's okay about it, and he doesn't hold it against me. He is too busy being ticked off about other things, like teens do...wanting later curfew, wanting to use the Internet unsupervised, and all the other stuff teens make us crazy over. He's too busy with that to fret over the donor!

Jen L.

05-23-2005, 03:26 PM	#1 (permalink)
Robinlee Registered User Join Date: Apr 2005 Posts: 256	Anyone having any feedback to telling? (child ment) I know it's a personal choice to tell or not to tell. For me, I am a single mom who used DS. So not telling isn't an option. I was wondering if anyone who had a child and has told has any experiences good or bad? My biggest fear is hurting my child by the circumstances surrounding his conception. I just wanted him so badly. Thanks, Robin www.somedreamscometrue.com

05-23-2005, 04:02 PM	#3 (permalink)
Robinlee Registered User Join Date: Apr 2005 Posts: 256	Wishing Thanks for responding to my post. My son is 2 1/2. It took me three years to decide to go ahead and use DS. It's a tough decision and I pray my son never comes to resent me. I just tell him every day hope much I love him and how much I wanted him. Good luck with your decision and feel free to email me anytime. Take care, Robin www.somedreamscometrue.com

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05-23-2005, 03:42 PM	#2 (permalink)
wishing 800-899 post 10 of hearts Join Date: May 2005 Location: Outside Toronto Posts: 878	I don't have an answer but I am just a few steps behind you. I am single and considering donor sperm. I am just not sure if it is too hard on the child? How old is your DS? I am in the planning stage but wishing you luck with you desision.

05-23-2005, 06:40 PM	#4 (permalink)
nathanzmom Guest Posts: n/a	If you check down the board there is a really long thread on DI disclosure. A lot of us wrote if we were telling or not, and a little about that. I think that is a good way to get info. It's nice, because it's balanced. I told my son, now 13, about the donor long ago, and everything is hunky dory about it. He said he likes being DI; it's one of the unique things about him. I have talked to many DI moms (in person and online). Those who told before teens had experiences that were fine; some who told when the kids were teens had good experiences, and some had bad experiences at that point. It was tough on some of the DI teens, and a relief for others. The ones who found out by accident mostly didn't have a positive experience, from what I read online. I was really worried, when I was TTC, that I was doing something selfish and my kid would later resent not knowing who the donor is (IF he wanted to know). Well, he DOES want to know out of curiosity, but he's okay about it, and he doesn't hold it against me. He is too busy being ticked off about other things, like teens do...wanting later curfew, wanting to use the Internet unsupervised, and all the other stuff teens make us crazy over. He's too busy with that to fret over the donor! Jen L.