Gift for Donor?

Laenae · 03-11-2005, 10:44 AM

I believe Shantup11 brought up the subject regarding gift ideas for the donor. Has anyone here given their donor a gift? I had not thought of giving a gift, but if it is the appropriate or right thing to do then I would do so. I wish I thought of it before the subject came up. I could have made arrangements for her to see a Broadway show and/or dinner while she was here. I guess it is too late for that now.

What has everyone else done? If so, what did you give the donor? Does the donor expect a gift?

Love,
Laenae

Emily'sMom · 03-11-2005, 11:32 AM

Oh that would have been a great idea! We aren't to that point yet but I have thought I'd like to give her a gift. We'll be using an anonymous donor through our clinic. Our clinic requires anonymous. I don't think a gift is necessary but it's certainly a nice gesture for all they have done for you. Granted they are compensated, but a gift is something special from the heart. At least that's my opinion. Unfortunately I don't have any clue on what kind of gift to give. I was thinking a watch or some small piece of jewelry.

Anyways, just wanted to wish you good luck again for tomorrow. I'll be interested to see what others think about a gift for the donor.

Ellen

50/50 · 03-11-2005, 11:44 AM

When we signed our agreement with our donor agency we were asked if we would like to give our donor a gift (optional). We had an option to select a gift certificate (your choice), flowers or other. We opted for flowers ($100).

Considering she is giving so much...it's seems like such a small gesture but I'm sure she will appreciate it.

Best of luck to you.

Laenae · 03-11-2005, 11:45 AM

Thanks Ellen.

My donor is anonymous too, so I would have to arrange everything through the donor agency. While she did get very well compensated, it sure could never make up for what she went through and did for us. I think it would be great for her to have a small token of our thanks. I am curious to see what the other ladies here think and can tell us from their experiences. I think jewelry is a great idea too. It would be great if we can get more ideas as well.

flicka7 · 03-11-2005, 01:12 PM

Our agency suggests a gift after retrieval. The suggested amount was $50 unless we wanted to do some kind of spa certificate. $50 wouldn't get you very far in a spa!

Our donor's profile indicated that she was an avid reader. We gave her one of our favorite books and a $50 B&N gift certificate.

Laenae · 03-11-2005, 02:12 PM

Thanks 50/50 and Flicka. I definitely want to give the donor something.

And, if I get PG, I would get my RE and Coordinator at the Donor Agency a small token of my thanks as well. I did at my last RE, even though the PG did not make it.

momto2boyz · 03-11-2005, 05:10 PM

Speaking from a donors POV, no we don't expect a gift. It's gift to us to know we may be helping create a family. With that said I also don't know any donor that wouldn't be touched by and appreciate receiving a gift.

I think you are wonderful for thinking about giving gifts to your donors!!

03-11-2005, 08:41 PM

We gave our donor a mother and child pendant. It was great to give her a gift directly from us even though she received payment.

Diana

hbby · 03-11-2005, 10:14 PM

We gave our gift to the our clinic who made sure that it got to our donor on her way out from retrieval. We ended up getting her flowers and the Eternal Circle necklace (because of the meaning) from Tiffany's. It was actually really reasonably priced. We saw that she had a preference for that type of jewlery in her pictures. We also included a note. Later that week we got a thank you from her through our donor agency. It is something that we will keep forever in our baby book. She'll never know how much we will treasure that note! I would definitely recommend getting your donor a gift. The entire process is so personal and I don't think the money they get is payment enough - imo. Like you are planning Laenae, I also sent gifts to our RE, IVF coordinator, and the coordinator at the donor agency.

**BC-MAV** · 03-12-2005, 10:04 AM

We have given our 2 egg donors gifts and THEY have given us gifts as well... and I'm not talking just their eggs!

1st donor said NO COUPLE that she had donated for had EVER given her a gift and she was quite touched by ours. (we gave her earrings because in her profile she wore jewelry so we knew...) We were SHOCKED that none of the couples that she had donated for (who all had pregnancies and births from her efforts) had EVER given her a simple gift in addition to the compensation.

I think something personal is in order EVEN though you are compensating an egg donor. Flowers are nice, a spa gift certificate, a pampering basket, a special ornament, a figurine, jewelry, a coffee table book with photographs from your city/state, etc... Of course what you do depends on how well you know the ED because you don't even know if the ED is a "spa" kind of girl or if she even wears "jewelry"! Our 2nd ED we gave a coffee table book with architecture and photographs of our city and we signed it just with first names. We knew her interests from the profile. She later on sent a beautiful ceramic peace ornament to us.

I think the coffee table book is nice to give to an ED, and we actually liked receiving this from the ED as well. I like the ornament too. These things are permanent and stuff you can keep to remember.

03-11-2005, 10:44 AM	#1 (permalink)
Laenae 1000-4999 post queen of hearts Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: Blue State but Red State kind of Gal Posts: 2,497	Gift for Donor? I believe Shantup11 brought up the subject regarding gift ideas for the donor. Has anyone here given their donor a gift? I had not thought of giving a gift, but if it is the appropriate or right thing to do then I would do so. I wish I thought of it before the subject came up. I could have made arrangements for her to see a Broadway show and/or dinner while she was here. I guess it is too late for that now. What has everyone else done? If so, what did you give the donor? Does the donor expect a gift? Love, Laenae __________________ Age 48/DH 44 - Married 23 yrs. K 02/19/00 (Clomid/C-Section) High Risk PG 12 IUIs/inject.; 6 IVFs; 1 FET; 1 M/C –Twins M 11/10/05 ~ High Risk PG - (C-Section) "Live a Good Life! And in the end, its not the years in a life that count...it's the life in your years!" Abraham Lincoln

03-11-2005, 11:32 AM	#2 (permalink)
Emily'sMom 5000-9999 post king of hearts Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: Upstate NY Posts: 5,973	Oh that would have been a great idea! We aren't to that point yet but I have thought I'd like to give her a gift. We'll be using an anonymous donor through our clinic. Our clinic requires anonymous. I don't think a gift is necessary but it's certainly a nice gesture for all they have done for you. Granted they are compensated, but a gift is something special from the heart. At least that's my opinion. Unfortunately I don't have any clue on what kind of gift to give. I was thinking a watch or some small piece of jewelry. Anyways, just wanted to wish you good luck again for tomorrow. I'll be interested to see what others think about a gift for the donor. Ellen __________________ Ellen Mommy to a sweet miracle - Emily- 3/02 1st DEIVF - TWINS!!!! - Alexander David and - Katelyn Rose Arrived at 35w on 2/6/06

03-11-2005, 11:45 AM	#4 (permalink)
Laenae 1000-4999 post queen of hearts Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: Blue State but Red State kind of Gal Posts: 2,497	Thanks Ellen. My donor is anonymous too, so I would have to arrange everything through the donor agency. While she did get very well compensated, it sure could never make up for what she went through and did for us. I think it would be great for her to have a small token of our thanks. I am curious to see what the other ladies here think and can tell us from their experiences. I think jewelry is a great idea too. It would be great if we can get more ideas as well. __________________ Age 48/DH 44 - Married 23 yrs. K 02/19/00 (Clomid/C-Section) High Risk PG 12 IUIs/inject.; 6 IVFs; 1 FET; 1 M/C –Twins M 11/10/05 ~ High Risk PG - (C-Section) "Live a Good Life! And in the end, its not the years in a life that count...it's the life in your years!" Abraham Lincoln

03-11-2005, 01:12 PM	#5 (permalink)
flicka7 1000-4999 post queen of hearts Join Date: May 2003 Location: NW Suburbs of Chicago Posts: 2,441	Our agency suggests a gift after retrieval. The suggested amount was $50 unless we wanted to do some kind of spa certificate. $50 wouldn't get you very far in a spa! Our donor's profile indicated that she was an avid reader. We gave her one of our favorite books and a $50 B&N gift certificate. __________________ Me & DH, 45 POF, 6 IVF's, 2 m/c, finally successful with DE , twins &

03-11-2005, 02:12 PM	#6 (permalink)
Laenae 1000-4999 post queen of hearts Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: Blue State but Red State kind of Gal Posts: 2,497	Thanks 50/50 and Flicka. I definitely want to give the donor something. And, if I get PG, I would get my RE and Coordinator at the Donor Agency a small token of my thanks as well. I did at my last RE, even though the PG did not make it. __________________ Age 48/DH 44 - Married 23 yrs. K 02/19/00 (Clomid/C-Section) High Risk PG 12 IUIs/inject.; 6 IVFs; 1 FET; 1 M/C –Twins M 11/10/05 ~ High Risk PG - (C-Section) "Live a Good Life! And in the end, its not the years in a life that count...it's the life in your years!" Abraham Lincoln

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03-11-2005, 11:44 AM	#3 (permalink)
50/50 Registered User Join Date: Nov 2004 Posts: 1,927 Blog Entries: 18	When we signed our agreement with our donor agency we were asked if we would like to give our donor a gift (optional). We had an option to select a gift certificate (your choice), flowers or other. We opted for flowers ($100). Considering she is giving so much...it's seems like such a small gesture but I'm sure she will appreciate it. Best of luck to you.

03-11-2005, 05:10 PM	#7 (permalink)
momto2boyz Registered User Join Date: Jul 2004 Location: Michigan Posts: 106	Speaking from a donors POV, no we don't expect a gift. It's gift to us to know we may be helping create a family. With that said I also don't know any donor that wouldn't be touched by and appreciate receiving a gift. I think you are wonderful for thinking about giving gifts to your donors!! __________________ ~Alicia~ Mom 2 Ashton(2-29-00) & Jamison(7-1-04) SurroMom to Bella & Noah(6-2-03) Egg Donor x 1 Anon through Clinic Egg Donor x 2 Matched Indy/Known Donation~Cycling in June, Retrieval in Montreal. Cheering on my good friend Emily'sMom on her cycle!

03-11-2005, 08:41 PM	#8 (permalink)
mod-DiIP Guest Posts: n/a	We gave our donor a mother and child pendant. It was great to give her a gift directly from us even though she received payment. Diana

03-11-2005, 10:14 PM	#9 (permalink)
hbby 1000-4999 post queen of hearts Join Date: Oct 2004 Posts: 1,995	We gave our gift to the our clinic who made sure that it got to our donor on her way out from retrieval. We ended up getting her flowers and the Eternal Circle necklace (because of the meaning) from Tiffany's. It was actually really reasonably priced. We saw that she had a preference for that type of jewlery in her pictures. We also included a note. Later that week we got a thank you from her through our donor agency. It is something that we will keep forever in our baby book. She'll never know how much we will treasure that note! I would definitely recommend getting your donor a gift. The entire process is so personal and I don't think the money they get is payment enough - imo. Like you are planning Laenae, I also sent gifts to our RE, IVF coordinator, and the coordinator at the donor agency. __________________ DH 29 / Me (EH) 28 Dx: POF - DE IVF Frat. twin boys born Aug. 27, 2005 at 32 weeks Q J

03-12-2005, 10:04 AM	#10 (permalink)
BC-MAV Board Coordinator for Surrogacy BB Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: way down yonder ... Posts: 29,651 Blog Entries: 50	We have given our 2 egg donors gifts and THEY have given us gifts as well... and I'm not talking just their eggs! 1st donor said NO COUPLE that she had donated for had EVER given her a gift and she was quite touched by ours. (we gave her earrings because in her profile she wore jewelry so we knew...) We were SHOCKED that none of the couples that she had donated for (who all had pregnancies and births from her efforts) had EVER given her a simple gift in addition to the compensation. I think something personal is in order EVEN though you are compensating an egg donor. Flowers are nice, a spa gift certificate, a pampering basket, a special ornament, a figurine, jewelry, a coffee table book with photographs from your city/state, etc... Of course what you do depends on how well you know the ED because you don't even know if the ED is a "spa" kind of girl or if she even wears "jewelry"! Our 2nd ED we gave a coffee table book with architecture and photographs of our city and we signed it just with first names. We knew her interests from the profile. She later on sent a beautiful ceramic peace ornament to us. I think the coffee table book is nice to give to an ED, and we actually liked receiving this from the ED as well. I like the ornament too. These things are permanent and stuff you can keep to remember.

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